Aa
none of this sounds appealing.
I am just over 17 weeks pregnant. I did not want to get pregnant..... maybe in like 5 years..maybe not. My husband and I obviously decided to keep it. Well now I am pregnant, and I still don't want to be. I never have liked babies, never was interested in them. I don't know how to take care of them, never held a baby, I don't know anything. Since I have gotten pregnant I have been researching and reading like crazy. I am a smart woman, I have always taken care of my body, watched my weight, been athletic.
I am terrified of labor, completely, utterly terrified. I don't want my vagina ripped to pieces,I do not want to bleed for two weeks. This all sounds horrible. Then after I bleed and hurt for weeks, I am in charge of a little human. A human that will always be looking up to me, a human that has now completely changed my life. I liked my life... I don't want change.
So now my whole life is about to change, I am going to be broke, destroy my body .
Maybe I need therapy .
I am terrified of labor, completely, utterly terrified. I don't want my vagina ripped to pieces,I do not want to bleed for two weeks. This all sounds horrible. Then after I bleed and hurt for weeks, I am in charge of a little human. A human that will always be looking up to me, a human that has now completely changed my life. I liked my life... I don't want change.
So now my whole life is about to change, I am going to be broke, destroy my body .
Maybe I need therapy .
May I ask why you decided to keep it then? It just makes me wonder if you thought you had it all together before why go ahead with it? Don't take it the wrong way. I personally would never get an abortion (you may be the same) buy like I said, just makes me wonder...
Yikes.. I don't know what to say really except that obviously a part of you and you husband did want a baby or you wouldn't of opted to keep the baby nor arnt exploring adoption options BC your worried about being broke. None us as women look forward to our vagina and sometimes buttholes to be ripped apart, to bleed for what seems an eternity, etc. I too am a first time mom to be and have days where I'm like "what did I get myself Into" but I am beyond excited to be a mom and to share something so special with my husband a creation of us two!!! Maybe talk to your ob and yea therapy might be a good choice :) I don't condone abortion or even suggest adoption in this situation but you do have options if you are really really not wanting this. Maybe some soul searching is just whats needed. Best of luck to you and I hope that your baby brings so much joy to you and your husband!
Because I thought I wanted one eventually, and if I wanted one eventually, even though it wasn't "the right time" that I should keep it. I may always be upset or mad at myself for aborting a child that I eventually wanted. And I love my husband.
I guess I sound horrible... I don't hate babies. I just never was super interested. I am just waiting for this to pass I guess, and for the happiness to kick in?
I guess I sound horrible... I don't hate babies. I just never was super interested. I am just waiting for this to pass I guess, and for the happiness to kick in?
More wondering if I am alone here.... everyone is so excited, which is good... but I feel like there is something wrong with me. Cause I am more just terrified. And I know I'll be a great mom, just it's still terrifying.
This is a tough one. Bonding can be hard. Like u I was taken back by the thought of a baby. I never liked kids or held them just like you. But my dislike was a little less than yours it seems. I would suggest just taking a deep breath and take each day at a time. I had a hard time bonding with my baby and I must say I just had him on the 27th of May and I'm now starting to form a strong bond. It took me the whole pregnancy and a week if his life. If u think you need therapy then do it. It can't hurt. But fir most women it will come.
No, you don't sound horrible. If thats how you feel, you can't help that. Im 100% with Novembermommy. And im sure all of the joys of pregnancy will come too. Although there may not seem like any or many at the moment. And im sure everything will come naturally. I wish you all the best. :)
Don't feel like something is wrong. I can personally understand. I'm always looking up articles of how to bond with your baby hoping one day it will be soooo strong. Don't get me wrong even when I was pregnant I knew I loved my baby and did what was right by him. But it was always a mystery like I know I have to love him but why?
I appreciate the feedback. Even just posting this makes me feel better... Robertiansmama - I am glad you are bonding & even more so that we aren't alone I guess... it may take me awhile.
Guess it's more scared than anything else.
Guess it's more scared than anything else.
I understand how you feel, its normal to have those negative emotions towards an unplanned baby. Im 23 weeks and my baby was unplanned, im in the middle of nursing school, none of my friends are anywhere near to being mothers, and my husband to be and I were only dating for a year. Talk about change! I was never any good with kids and always felt awkward around them since im more of a serious/stern person. But im also very spiritual and I do believe once your baby comes into this world, it will be a completely different feeling. I bet your motherly instincts will kick in and you wouldnt picture your life again without your child by your side. Yes, it will take time to adjust to a new life style but hey, thats all part of life and it requires you to be strong minded. And just to add,im also terrified of labor but our bodies are amazing at healing itself over time. Good luck and try to have a positive outlook on life.
Yeah exactly. It was scary to me too. Honestly like when I was early on I wasn't really excited at all! Every one on this app shows amazing bonds the second they fund out they are pregnant. I was like um ok I'm pregnant.....I know ima keep it but now what?? Even after my baby shower I looked at all the baby gifts and I was in disbelief. I even woke up throughout my stay at the hospital after birth and was like oh yeah I'm here cause I just had a baby and he's here now. So weird. But yes it's coming slowly. I've found just to keep an open mind and stop thinking about bonding cause I'm always sencond guessing myself like is this bond strong enough yet? Must not be cause I'm here thinking of it!
And btw I've never taken this much time to type a response. But I felt this one is necessary cause it's very rare I feel like. I mean I have yet to meet someone who felt like us when pregnant. Best of wishes to you and the baby!
Farah_remo - Thanks. I know it's difficult for you too... but we have to change
I just sort of wish I had that part of the brain that is overly crazy excited lol... most women are born with it.
I just sort of wish I had that part of the brain that is overly crazy excited lol... most women are born with it.
Thanks for taking the time! All this honestly helps ease my mind a bit
Good! I'm glad. What helped me too was looking up articles of ways to bond and how bonding isn't always immediate. It made me feel like I was less of a freak haha
Also. If your husband isn't aware of your feelings like in sugar coated-make him aware. Start this bonding experience with him now and just focus onsstrengthening it. Me and my husband talk about our fears all the time. Its so comforting to me just to confide in him sometimes and makes my heart happy knowing he knows the "raw" me when it comes to this pregnancy. Support is key!
Honey, it's life happening. No one is ever prepared. Children don't come with manuals. You know you can schedule a cesarean section if you are extremely concerned about your lady parts. It's an option. Everyone goes through different types emotions when we find out were expecting. I'm a first time mom, I never thought I would ever conceive due to preexisting medical conditions. But hey, life happened and I am blessed. Who knows maybe once you hear your babys, heartbeat for the first time or feel him/her move inside you. You may fall completely in love with that precious gift you are being granted. All I can say is its a shock in the beginning, and uncertainty sinks in. It doesn't make you a bad or terrible person. It makes you decide the course of your life. To each it's own, think about all of the trade off's. Including monetary ones and have an honest chat with yourself. Then your husband. I honestly wish you luck and it's ok to freak out. We've all been there. Keep in mind this forum is to help us all cope.
I was just like you when I had my first fresh out of college all I wanted to do is be athletic, hang out but the undecided happened. I had no morning sickness with my son. I had to seek help from my parents they were amazing. After I had my son I went in post partum depression. I could not stand my own baby. My mom had to do it all for me until I woke up one morning my son smiled at me for the first. Ever since then all depression and bad feeling went away. I went from being horrible to best mommy. It will take time trust you will love this baby more than anything. Plus your body will bounce back within a month.
You know I really thought I was gonna have half of the people mad at me for posting this. But everyone who responded has been very understanding !
I am very very happy for people who are blessed with children, sometimes people aren't so fortunate (another reason we opted to keep).
And I have the most caring, understanding, patient husband. Which is so incredibly great and also makes me feel worse for how I feel lol
I need to snap out of this, and I really want to snap out of this.
I'm a huge wimp apparently , all these women having kids , they're fearless. It's amazing.
I am very very happy for people who are blessed with children, sometimes people aren't so fortunate (another reason we opted to keep).
And I have the most caring, understanding, patient husband. Which is so incredibly great and also makes me feel worse for how I feel lol
I need to snap out of this, and I really want to snap out of this.
I'm a huge wimp apparently , all these women having kids , they're fearless. It's amazing.
Mag131 - that's another thing, I don't want to resent the little thing! I don't want to fall into depression. I am sure that was soooooo difficult, and alot of people don't understand why or how you could be like that.
I want to fix this before I deliver. I am going to try my best not to slip into depression.
I thought I would get excited when I heard the heartbeat, maybe it will happen when I find out the sex, or feel a kick.
I want to fix this before I deliver. I am going to try my best not to slip into depression.
I thought I would get excited when I heard the heartbeat, maybe it will happen when I find out the sex, or feel a kick.
Being pregnant is terrifying. I mean it is necessary to make changes for the new baby. Plus yes the body does go through a lot..But us woman are built for this. I bet once you see your baby it'll all be worth it.
You have a husband whom loves you, which some ladies don't have. Change is difficult for some but Everything is constantly changing anyway..Your probably freaking yourself by over thinking. I myself am already a mom and know I was terrified before I had my daughter to top it off me and her dad weren't getting along. I was young and barley learning how to even get on my own feet which made it harder. I had my daughter and she is the most amazing person I know. She is so bright and watching her grow brings me much joy and brings my soul satisfaction. Yes it is challenging and im.sure.itll probably.only.get more challenging but anything good doesn't come easy. Your blessed just remember that being a mom is the most rewarding feeling ever.
You have a husband whom loves you, which some ladies don't have. Change is difficult for some but Everything is constantly changing anyway..Your probably freaking yourself by over thinking. I myself am already a mom and know I was terrified before I had my daughter to top it off me and her dad weren't getting along. I was young and barley learning how to even get on my own feet which made it harder. I had my daughter and she is the most amazing person I know. She is so bright and watching her grow brings me much joy and brings my soul satisfaction. Yes it is challenging and im.sure.itll probably.only.get more challenging but anything good doesn't come easy. Your blessed just remember that being a mom is the most rewarding feeling ever.
I think what ur feeling is actually normal. On the scale of normal at least. I am super excited about this baby and it was planned, and I still have some of these feelings. I haven't ever been around a baby and I am also having a really had time "losing" my body. I know, pregnancy is beautiful and all that jazz but it makes me feel fat and disgusting when I've always been tiny and cute. It's hard for me. I don't love being pregnant (and it's been a cake walk for me symptom wise). So just know I can somewhat relate and I planned my pregnancy! I think therapy is a great idea and would probably help u sort through alot. Good luck mama!
YOU GUYS ARE GREAT!!¡ :-) THANKS FOR SUPPORTING HER AND SHARING YOUR STORIES WITH HER. IT MEANS ALOT TO FEEL THIS TYPE OF LOVE:)
It is funny 6 yrs later I am pregnant wwith my last as much as I said I was not going to have anymore my boy is so gorgeous I think this one will be as beautiful as him now I feel ready. I have morning sickness like crazy and I am not even mad. You will be agreat mom it might take time to adjust but you will be a pro. Sign up for some pregnancy classes they teach how to old the baby and all. When you go for your appointment talk to some mommy some are great help.
Completely normal. I felt the exact same way with my son and I mean EXACT.
I was on a very academic path, had my undergrad from a great university was on my way to a promising career and had just gotten married. When I fell pregnant with my son I cried for a week. I barely bonded with him during the pregnancy and even after he was born it wasn't love at first sight.
It wasnt until he was a couple months old that I started to like being a mom. Then one day he looked at me and it was like I was seeing him for the first time. Finally I was in love.
Fast forward almost 2 years he's the best thing ever to happen to me. I put my career on hold put school on hold and dedicated myself to being a stay at home mom. He's the love of my life.
What I'm saying is it comes. Just let it happen in it's own time.
I was on a very academic path, had my undergrad from a great university was on my way to a promising career and had just gotten married. When I fell pregnant with my son I cried for a week. I barely bonded with him during the pregnancy and even after he was born it wasn't love at first sight.
It wasnt until he was a couple months old that I started to like being a mom. Then one day he looked at me and it was like I was seeing him for the first time. Finally I was in love.
Fast forward almost 2 years he's the best thing ever to happen to me. I put my career on hold put school on hold and dedicated myself to being a stay at home mom. He's the love of my life.
What I'm saying is it comes. Just let it happen in it's own time.
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