just looking for advice!

[stepht20]

Looooong story short my best friend is also my husband's best friend and it's somtimes hard for me to except that... they were friends first and she's the reason me and my hubby are together today. I trust her and him, they hangout together and us 3 hangout together but for some reason I just get irritated when we are all together. Or when they hangout together without me. My friend kinda has a record of being a home recker tho. Idk if insecure about myself but it's bothering me alot. She's the best friend anyone could ask for. She threw our baby shower and planned our wedding. I just can't get over the way I feel. My husband knows how I feel but she doesn't and sometimes me and my hubby fight about it. And then sometimes she even over steps her boundaries, idk it's kinda like he's my husband Noone else can come close expecially a female! I don't like that she makes him laugh or when they hug! I'm terrible! ): idk what to do. Any advice ladies!!?

[stepht20]

Thanks ladies for all your in put!  I'll try and have a conversation with her this time instead of hubby! Makes me feel better you all agree with me. Happy pregnancy to you all (:

[Miszydd]

It's hard to be in that position, my best friend is male and all his girlfriends that he's ever had felt insecure too and I've never given reason or crossed boundaries. I respect his girlfriend's. If she crosses the line put her in her place! Lol. Sometimes it could be the pregnancy.. I feel left out of many things and I get irritated and hide away from the world. Good luck!

[onebabygirl4me]

I would say something like this... so I'm like pregnant and hormonal and just goofy but lately I've been kinda getting a little jealous when ever u and (husband) hang out.. I no u would never do anything to step on my toes but it's kinda making me feel wierd so could u do me a huge favor as crazy as I sound and back off just a little.. then h no nudge her and remind her she's your BFF and u love her but u need a little space for u and hubby.. good relationships r all about boundaries

[Maryrose519]

I don't think you sound insecure at all. Actually, quite the opposite. It's never easy to talk about things like this with someone. But it's very important. If she's a good friend she would understand and respect your feelings. If she isn't understanding, I say cut her off. Your hubby needs to understand this as well and take into account how you feel. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if the roles were reversed.

[fabjess4]

They tell us at our church that If you have friends they should also be couples. Never to have a male best friend or female best friend because it won't work out for the best. You should tell your hubby that you both should talk to her and tell her  you need your space and your hubby should accept it. THE BEST FRIEND THING should have ended the day you got married when You became his best friend because you became one.  

[littlemisspregs]

sounds like it's a little crowded in your relationship. if you are feeling like this now it's only going to get worse, to be honest I wouldn't put up with it, it's just a recipe for disaster.  I know all about "best friends" like that,  it doesn't work love.  

[stepht20]

I know that's how I feel, I've always been that woman to respect people and there significant other. Never have I got close to a man unless they were a boyfriend.  I get that they are best friends too but they goof around with each other n stuff it's just annoying!!! To me there is no need to be that close to a married man! And he thinks I'm nuts for thinking like this or feeling like this. When so many woman say how crazy it is to have another woman be so close to my husband. Idk how I would even bring about the conversation with her. I feel like I'm in the wrong for being insecure or something.  

[erin_loren]

Rather or not she was his best friend before y'all were together isn't the point. When you marry someone everything changes. Life is now about the two of you. She doesn't get a say on your relationship. Your husband and you need to dicuss boundaries when it comes to your friend and stick to them. If your friend doesn't like it then she's the one who is wrong. If she is a home wrecker then she obviously doesn't understand boundaries with women's husbands. Honestly, I wouldn't trust her no matter how much I loved her.

[mary3058]

I don't understand why she is all up in your life like that. I mean she needs to back off and give you guys some privacy I would cut her loose little by little I don't care if she hooked my husband and I up.

[babymk5]

All I can say if she do it to others she will do it to you. Not even friendship can make you any more special than the other women. I will never trust a woman who will knowingly sleep with another woman's husband.

[amyc08]

Honestly he's your husband and you should come first and that means your feelings come first. If something bothers you regardless of how ridiculous he thinks it is, if he respects and loves you he will do whatever he can to make that situation better and sacrifice/compromise so you are happy and comfortable

[Maryrose519]

If you feel uncomfortable about it, you should tell her.. It may cause some issues between the two of you, but if she's an understanding friend she will back off a little.. Come at her in a positive way and let her know how much she means to you..