space

[bbm1188]

I just had my baby two weeks ago. I feel like nobody in my husbands family knows the meaning of space. I understand they want to see the baby but I'm super irritable and am ready to tell people to screw off already. I am having a hard time adjusting to not sleeping and my husband and I relationship being so different. There's just a lot of changes. A lot. I've never adjusted well to change at first. It takes me a little bit to get the hang of things. I just want to be left alone honestly. Am I asking for to much here? They came over on thanksgiving when I had gotten two hours of sleep the entire day bc my baby was going through an intense growth spurt. I finally got her to sleep and they come over holding her wishing she would wake up. I was ready to kill them. I even asked if they could come over some time this weekend since thursday was the roughest day for me so far and they made excuses to why they couldn't. I felt forced to let them come over. Man its annoying. I do on the other hand appreciate the baby presents and that my baby is so loved but I really need some consideration that I have no help from my husband and I'm overwhelmed. I'm just trying to get the hang of things and get through the day without crying. Ah venting thid has made me feel better. Thanks for listening.  

[rasberryxtreme]

Oh I know EXACTLY how you feel! But like the above posters say, set BOUNDARIES! My bf's mom told us how she was going to pierce our 3 week old daughter's ears after we had already said we weren't going to do it until she was old enough to choose to have it down. I was like seriously?! This is the first grandchild on both sides of our family so it was extremely hard, especially over the holidays. People need to understand they are newborns, not little dolls to be passed around to everyone period. Drives me nuts and we've only hit 5 weeks! I told my bf she can't spend the night with anyone until she's at least a year old...dunno what those crazies will do!

[bbm1188]

Yea I'm very aware of the postpartum depression. I actually started antidepressants yesterday bc I felt like I was getting to down from time to time. I dont like crying for long periods of time. That's another reason I want space because mentally I'm going through that and not telling anyone but my husband and doctor. I dont really want people to know and ill be ok. Since yesterday I feel a lot better already but its all still an adjustment. Ill lean on people if I have to but for now I'm trying to do this on my own since I feel up to it and my depression isn't god awful but it was becoming a pain.

[bbm1188]

Lol yall are right. I have to set boundaries. Im scared of coming off as a b*tch. Im scared  of them getting pissed at me. I better get over it though before I blow up on them for real. My mil keeps trying to make meals for us so she has an excuse to come over to see the baby. We have a freezer and fridge full of food we are good. Thankfully my husband told her that. It amazes me how often people want to see her.Its bad enough tons of people came by when I was in the hospital healing from a csection. My husbands family was even in the room while I was in labor lol like 4of them were in there when there was a limit of two. IIdk I think they are crazy. At first it was like aww they care now its really freaking old. Lol thankfully everyone goes back to work this week. I only have to turn people away next weekend.  

[TimTamDownUnder]

You're not being unreasonable at all. I remember what it was like with our first born. Everything is such a big lifestyle change from just a few weeks ago. Im the kind of person who finds it hard to say no to friends and family even if I want to. I eventually had to tell some that I needed sleep and rest and the baby needed to as well and they all understood completely. I found that as long as I was honest in telling them that I was struggling to get rest, they all felt pretty bad for being around so much and they stopped coming unannounced. When you're by yourself & want a break just make sure you take the phone off the hook so no one can call :) I hope it gets easier for you I know its such a shock to the system at first.  If you feel like you're still overwhelmed please tell your doctor asap because it may be post natal depression and you can get help or councelling etc..

[MRSTMP]

U have to set the boundaries early or they will forever get away with it. If its ny a good time then tell them that ur not free and they'll have to wait until u are. They won't like it to start with but they'll get over it and will have more respect for you in the future. Don't let them hold baby while she's sleeping if u don't  want them to. They're not the ones who will have to get her back to sleep if they wake her.
I had to set these boundaries with my first baby and second time was easier. It's been a while inbetween this time around but I am older stronger and wiser this time so it will be easier for me. Sometimes I've even hid upstairs and pretended not to be home when people called just to avoid them.

[laiba_adi]

Ahh!I dnt why ppl just dnt understand this.I understand which phase u r going through.I think u should ask ur husband to explain them n make u comfortable.