My husbands ex

[Myfirstlovebug]

my husband has a child with her and he is my step son who calls me mom as well we have asked and asked for him to call me by my name and he says no so we gave up now his mom has been so horrible teaching my step son to call his real father by his real name and just being really nasty ugh kinda just need to vent.

[proudmommy619]

Ive dealt with that beforw...u may not be on good terms with her but try to talk to her explain that u have tried to correct him but he refuses...ask her what could be a compromise...explain that u no ur are not his mom but his step mom and woild never take the place as mom but ur not purposely trying to have him call u that....tell her u will treat him like ur own but u no u could never take her place...i no its hard but when i did it...we finally are now able to talk and be ok with one another...i can even pick him up with out my fiancee...as a mother i would hate my children calling someone else mom but if thats what the child wants to do then its ok just make sure threw out his life with u that he understand ur not mom ur step mommy so that way there is no confusion and would help ease his mothers mind...but this is my suggestion and my personal experience u dont have to but trying to talk to her could help...weither she accepts ur reach out to her or not thats on her but atleast u tried and if all else fails have ur hubby try and talk to her...or u guys can always do it together

[DixieVicious]

Try not to let her bother you, especially if you are in a 1st trimester pregnancy. It sounds like he may just be having a rough time adjusting, and she might talk about your husband by name around him, and it might not all be positive. The best you can do is treat him as positively as you can, so that way he is at least being treated correctly in one of his homes. I really hope she doesnt bash his father in front of him. That is not okay at all. But really, dont worry too much about him calling his father his name. They go through a phase thinking they will get more of a response with it, and then they start to realize it doesnt work. :)

[Myfirstlovebug]

thank you for responding I appreciate what you said and I'm taking it all to heart making me feel way better I just think she intentionally trying to stress me out but who knows

[DixieVicious]

I think you should let your step son call you mom if that is what makes him feel most comfortable, or Mama "insert name here". In my experience of watching and helping step children, they are more damaged when you tell them they aren't allowed to call you by a parental name, causing them to feel disjointed and disconnected, not part of the family. And he is part of your husband's flesh and blood. You should accept that fact, because he isn't going to go away anytime soon. If you love your husband you should love his child and let him call you what makes him most comfortable, as long as it isn't an insulting name.
As for him calling his father by his real name, this is a phase lots of children go through, and will most likely pass.