Is anyone else petrified of labour???

[rccresswell]

I know this is a bit morbid considering this will be my third child but I am really, really scared about going into labour.  I understand the pain with it all because with my first two I did it naturally without pain relief and I wish I could go into that mind space I was with my first two but it is VERY difficult.

I guess I am petrified I am going to give birth and something is going to go wrong because of my miscarriage.  When I miscarried I knew there was something wrong with my baby but as each week passed I thought I was over reacting.  I had that intuitive feeling something was wrong and it was, now I have that same feeling something is going to go wrong.  Am I really worrying for nothing???  I am so confused and wish I could have that innocence back.  I know this sounds really stupid but I am scared something is going to go wrong with me and I may not make it.  Gosh I sound so crazy.  Has anyone else had these fears???????

[lil_lady25]

Before ttc I was absolutely terrified of getting pregnant just because I was scared of the labour haha And this pregnancy my doctor was sure we would do a c-section so I didnt think anything of it. Well now he is saying that I may be able to deliver naturally. I thought the fear would hit me but it really hasen't at all. Maybe it's because I dont ever think about it. I just think about how happy and excited I will be to see my two beautiful baby girls.

As for worrying about if something is going to happen to you, dont. You are a very healthy woman and just because your body didnt agree with the last pregnancy doesnt mean it will affect this one. Your pregnancy is going along so great that I wouldnt worry about anything. I do wonder that sometimes too because of my 2 prior m/c but we have to stay positive. Our angel babies are looking after us and their big brothers/sisters :)

[SunWorshiper_26]

I think it's perfectly normal to worry more about the what ifs in pregnancy once you have had a miscarriage. Like you said, you don't have that innocence anymore and because of that your eyes are open to all the what ifs that can happen.

I would share your worries with your OB or midwife so that they know. Maybe they can talk through your concerns with you but most importantly be aware of your concerns so they can look out for them.

I know many ladies on here have fears of labor and delivery. It's scary and it is unknown since every time is different.

[rccresswell]

Hey

Thank you very much for that I definately feel a lot better.  It's amazing how much better you feel after you vent and get positive replies that what you are feeling is normal.  It's funny with my first two I got tired of them kicking all the time and I was like oh just give me a break and with this one the kicking gives me a sigh of relief that I will never get sick of.

I have to change my train of thought and I will definately talk to my doctor about it on thursday.  I don't see my midwife till 28 weeks which is crap because it is my third but I will talk to my doctor.

Once again thank you

[Majikat]

Lol I have been through it twice and with this pregnancy I am more terrified than ever.... I think because my last one was extremly painful.... Believe me quicker labours are much worse than slower ones cause my 30 min labour was way more painful than my 30 min labour.... I am nervous about it but I also know that it's only temporary and I will most likely survive.... Just try and relax and don't say no to drugs lol... They wouldn't give me anything for my second

[alyssagillstrom]

im not as terrified of labor as i am of having some unexplainable reason for miscarriage or having a problem when the baby is full term .. those things that somtimes have no explanation scare me more than anything. i think prayer is the only way to get through the stress. i can't reltae to having a miscarriage ever and what thats like but i do know that the only way to get by is to give everything to God and know that whatever happens is how he planned it. Im sorry youre so worried. ic all my OB every time the baby stops kicking for a day...i feel crazy too! :) i even went in a got checked at 22 weeks for pains that werent even that big of a deal but i just needed reassurance she was ok in there. Good luck  with everything :)

[SunWorshiper_26]

I'm terrified that this labor is going to break my vagina and it will never be the same again. I'm also scared at how much it's going to hurt after delivery with my vagina all messed up. So the summary here is I'm afraid of my vagina being hurt broken or in pain. Which is strange bc I never had any vagina fears before now :P

[rccresswell]

LOL sunworshipper you made me giggle :P  I have an appointment with my doctor and I will talk to her about it who knows she might refer me to a psychologist or something like that.  They have offered but I keep saying no so maybe I should accept.

Thanks for that alyssha.  Those were kind words and something I  really need to do.  I need to start looking deep in my heart and I really think I might need some counselling after my miscarriage.  We will see how tomorrow goes.  Let's hope I have the courage to ask for help :)

[alyssagillstrom]

I have thousands of vagina fears, now.

[rccresswell]

lol trust me it doesn't hurt when it happens :P  With my son I had a deep tear and my midwife put the anisthetic down there and another midwife stitched it up and she stitched it up where there was no anisthetic and it was very sore lol.  I said to the midwife I can feel it, I can feet it and she was like ohh and when and got some more anisthetic.  It's funny though you can't pee without running water and it's hard to sit down lol.

With my daughter I didn't tear at all and it just felt the same way it did before I had her.  If you can avoid tearing definately do lol.  With my son being my first I couldn't stop pushing but with my daughter I could control it so I kind of breathed her out.

Don't worry it all goes away after a week and a bit lol.

[alyssagillstrom]

Ah, "tear' sounds absolutely like the most horrible thing. LOL. omg. eek. the thought of stitches down there agh!

[SunWorshiper_26]

Rccresswell I'm finishing up my phD in clinical psych so I might be a little bias but I think therapy is awesome :)

[rccresswell]

Hey

I did talk to my doctor about how I was feeling and she asked if I was depressed and I said I don't know I think I am more scared.  She reassured me that if baby was born now then it would be fine so that made me feel a lot more at ease.  She also said that my miscarriage didn't make it but this baby is growing perfectly and to try not to worry about the things that could go wrong.

I also made her aware of my fears if I went over with this baby.  See my son was 2 days early and my placenta was falling apart.  My midwife thought it looked like a smokers placenta even though I don't smoke.  She told me to tell the midwife and I told her I did and she said well come back at about 36 weeks and we will check your placenta to see how it is working.  She said she can understand my concerns because my daugther was 12 days early and her placenta was perfect.

I have an appointment with my midwife in 4 weeks so I will discuss my fears with her as well.  When I was 16 weeks I did a depression test and scored just over so they need to reassess me again.

Thanks for that sunworshipper.  I will definately ask for help if it gets worse :)

[SunWorshiper_26]

I'm so glad that you talked to them :). It is so difficult after a miscarriage to ever trust that everything will be ok. I refused to buy maternity clothes bc I was so convinced that something would go wrong with this pregnancy. My mom finally bought maternity clothes for me at 16 weeks pregnant. At 20 weeks I had my ultrasound that said baby had echogenic bowel and it could mean baby was really sick and might die or be born with DS and I had to have an amnio and that could cause miscarriage. Again I was thinking I finally allowed myself to get attached to this baby just to have it taken away.

Once you experience a miscarriage you are never 100% that everything will be ok bc of that prior loss. We won't be truly able to relax until baby is in our arms and even then we will always fear what if. But there are ladies here who understand. Many of us have lost a child through miscarriage. It's helpful to talk to each other on here to know we are not alone and to share our journeys and fears. I'm always here to listen :)

[rccresswell]

You are so right!!!  I am feeling a lot better about it all now.  I had a good talk to my friend today as well so that really helped.  I think it is all about changing your train of thought and making it more positive.  I just wish I could start looking forward to labour lol :)

[SunWorshiper_26]

Lol you will never look forward to labor and if you do then seek counseling immediately ;) just kidding I'm sure by the time we are all huge and very VERY uncomfortable we will welcome labor bc it means baby will have a new home outside our bellies where we aren't having to pee every 20 seconds and have our bladder used as a trampoline ;)  but I don't think we are truly to that point yet.

I'm so glad that you have friends to talk to and you are able to share your concerns with your OB and midwives too. When we have a support system like that we are better able to cope with stressors in our lives bc we know we aren't walking this journey alone :)