Would LOVE non-judgmental opinions

[Atia_Julii]

So, as of today, I am 37w1d pregnant.  I've been having SUPER anxiety the last week.  It took my husband and I almost 2 years to conceive, which involved many failed treatments, a lot of heartache, and eventually, we spontaneously got pregnant.  

Today at my appointment, I decided to tell my midwife my fears.  I told her it took me SO long to get pregnant, that I'm scared it will all just be taken away.  (I should also mention that I know someone who lost her fetus at 40w recently, and that really put me over the edge)  Anyway, I teared up a bit, and I was really expecting the midwife to just blow it off.  Well, she didn't!!!  She gave me options.

1.  She said I could schedule a c-section AS SOON as I hit 39 weeks.

2.  She said I could get induced as soon as I hit 39 weeks, and hope I can give birth vaginally.

3.  She also said I could have an amnio done, and if the lungs are mature, could take the baby now.  WHAT?  (I obviously won't do this option)

I just really want to hear everyone else's opinion.  I'm just so scared that something will happen to the baby between now and then.  I think my history with infertility has made me a bigger worrier.  I also hate to have an elective c-section, although my mid-wife assures me they happen all the time and no one at my clinic will judge me.

Basically, I have all the options possible.  What would you guys do?  I'm thinking of just having my membranes stripped at my next appointment and seeing if labor will happen on it's own?  Opinions would be so appreciated.

[JillyHemp316]

I totally understand where you're coming from, I had a miscarriage in August last year and the closer I get to labor the more scared I get too. This is my first child so the only thing I have to compare to labor is the miscarriage and losing the baby..I know they are total opposites...one you lose a baby and one you get a baby but in my head I feel like the contractions will feel like the miscarriage. Even my birthing class instructor said that women who get strong menstrual cramps sometimes dont feel braxton hicks contractions cuz they feel the same I guess. I tols my husband that and he just looked at me like I was crazy. I'm just kind of ignoring it and hoping I'll be able to keep my head, I know logically they're different. I think you are doing a good thing with being proactive about your anxiety. Due dates are never an exact science anyway so I think a little either direction is okay. Make sure you let us know how things go. Oh, the other thing I was going to say (pregnant brain for a minute there) I know for us it would depend a lot on money. I know my insurance doesn't cover elective c sections, cuz trust me I would signed up a long time ago lol so I know that what my insurance would cover would end up being a big factor in what our decision would be. Hopefully you have better insurance than we do, lousy health care system lol

[Meadow841]

I don't have much advice to offer bc this is my first and I have no experience...but I do completely understand how you feel. I am totally freaked out too..like this is all too good to be true. I just keep thinking I can't wait for the day when we can post all of our baby pictures this July :)

[lotsamommy5]

really hun i think its nothing, the fact you are having this fear. i am a mother of 4 going on number 5 an nuver lost a child really easy to get pregnant obviously for me.lol anyways so i ran into a old friend the other day an she was telling me she did have a son whom she lost. i was very upset about the thought an asked her what happen (only if she was okay talking about it) an she told me her baby was completely healthy the enitre pregnancy really high healthy heart rate an so forth then the day she had her son she lost him. then i could tell she didnt want to talk about it anymore so we changed the conversation i never got the chance to ask her what had happened. so now i have been having nightmares about my baby being a still born or even holding my new baby an looking into its eyes an then it passign away. all i see in my dream after that is the doctors takin my child an i wake up IN TEARS!!  cant go back to sleep an it has been on my mind for days now. so moral of this is i think with all our hormones going crazy an out of wack i think it brings out the biggest fears in a mother or mother 2 be! I send my wish's an prayers to you an your child. but realyl i bet everything is going to be okay prolly nothing to even worry about. just remember our dreams,thoughts,wish's an nightmares are at their extreme when your hormones are so far out of place an you are so close to having the baby an its not helping the fact delivery is sooo close it only can let your mind go wild on every possible situation you can even imagine or been told or seen or whatever. im sure you an your baby will be rgeat an have a beautiful life together :) god bless you an your lil one <3

[Atia_Julii]

Thanks so much for all the comments!  I'm glad to know I'm not the only one completely worried.  I try not to make decisions based on fear, but in this situation, it's SO hard.  

I also realize the best childbirth is the one where it comes on naturally.  I realize that, but I also realize with my first child, that could mean I'm a week or more late and I just don't think my anxiety can handle that. And I realize how rare cord accidents and stillbirths are.  We all seem to know someone, but honestly, what's the risk?  1/1000?  Maybe even more?  

I'm very happy that my clinic has been so open to whatever I decide.  I think I'll definitely have them strip my membranes at my 38 week appointment, which is Thursday, June 24th.  What I now need to decide between then and now is if I schedule my induction when I hit 39 weeks, or closer to 40 weeks.  Either way, I've already decided I will not go beyond 40 weeks.

[34kmaray]

You're in good company - I was all tears at my last appointment (37weeks). This is very unlike me- usually I'm a rational, calm person. My dr had called in sick so I was seeing the nurse prac. that I had seen the week prior which didn't help because I think she is very unhelpful, but anyway... My last daughter was born 6 years ago with a very difficult delivery (low fluid, 2 days of hard labor, cord around neck & arm, suction, etc...) and then miscarriages & infertility so I TOTALLY understand.
I am very freaked out something will happen between now and holding baby girl in my arms. Not to mention she has chronic hiccups which I read is a sign of the cord around the neck! Stupid nurse wouldn't check with ultrasound even though I was all tears and measured only 34 (what about the fluid?!).  ANYWAY, I have already planned with my dr to be induced at 39 weeks - in his records it's because of hernia & baby putting pressure on it, but it's also to ease my mind that baby will be monitored throughout labor. I'm scheduled for 6/29 (39weeks, 1day) and it can't come soon enough  :)

[steph9803]

I know this pregnancy has been completely different since my m/c. I never worried before...this entire pregnancy was filled with worry. I know someone who's baby had a cord accident and died at 37 weeks and it has me freaked out too...I would go for having the membranes stripped then see what happens. I've been induced with all of my previous babies and will be with this one if he doesn't come before 38 or 39 weeks. I know that everything will be okay with you and your little one! I can't wait for us all to be sharing our baby pics after all this time!

[Atia_Julii]

Thanks girls.  I've been thinking a lot about this since my morning appointment, and I think I'm going to have my membranes stripped to see if that helps.  I've also decided that I will induce at 40 weeks and not go a day over.  This will hopefully give me some peace of mind.

[martikadragoon]

you can safely have the amnio at 39w and have the birth induced.

Try having your membranes stripped and see if that causes labor, if it doesn't go for the induction.

[Mybabypooh]

I understand how you feel because we have been trying to conceive for over 5 years and now I am so anxious to have her and hold her in my arms. But, I really think you are worrying just a little to much... as long as you are feeling your baby move and you have your weekly appointment everything should be good. truely, I would try to relax and get ready for baby's arrival. Your are very close to holding you precious baby...anyday now. Be blessed and enjoy:-)