men.... what to do....

[newmommy2240]

Hey ladies, hope everything is well. So this is my first pregnancy im verrrrry excited im 15 weeks and 1 day due july 30th. So far everything is goin well. My babys father has previously 4 children. He hasn't really g iven annny interest at all in this child. He hasn't attended one dr visit or ultrasound. He jus says" its just and appointment" it actually hurts cause this is the happiest time of my life. Im not sure if he's scared or just doesn't know what to do. His babys mama don't let him see his other kids cause he don't wanna be with her. That kinda situation. I realllllly wish that he would CARE about this baby. I bring it up and he kinda just spaces off. So I don't talk bout it. I love him alot but I can't live like this who knows how its gonna be later on when baby is here. Any sugggestions. Advice? Anyone deal with this? Hope to hear from you....

[Lesley27]

Do you think maybe he feels guilt about starting a new family? like maybe in the back of his mind what his kids are gonna feel about him not being involved with them but now his new kid so he may be distancing himself to try to deal with it.... I cant say my guy was a super dad at the begining and i did get frustrated as i did everything but thats how he was raised(i blame his mom-she anables him not to HAVE to do anything...grrrr) I painted the baby room and decorated it by myself(with my pregnant belly) i put the crib together, he did help put the dresser together but that was fun for him, and i did all the baby care, he now is more into helping out...more or less when she was closer to 1, when she started walking adn was so much less "fragile" he was more comfortable and he now is in charge of bathing her, he got up with her today and has taken care of her so far... so hes not into the delivery bit(hates hospitals) and is scared of hurting new babies but is doing such a great job at this stage... so if you would have asked me when i was pregnant last time, or after i had her, i wouldnt have said he was that great of a dad lol and now hes does really good... its just where he is more comfortable :)

Do you have any ideas as why he could be acting this way? do you think it could be guilt, was this pregnancy planned... like is he still dealing with it? is it just the baby that he avoids talking about or is it more than that now?

Im sorry im not very good at personal advice... i am hoping some other girls will read this situation better... :( sorry  but ill keep talking it over in hopes that it will help...

[newmommy2240]

Its veryyyy frusterating he says nothing unless I say something then hell respond to my questions. He hasn't gone to one ultrasound either. I told him the other day when I find out what it is, can he come to that one, he says I guess so. Ill go. Like really, show some interet. Im tellin u I feel like im in this ALONE it suxxxx. I don't know what the deal is. He's been actin soooo diff. Since I found out. I really don't think he wants to be a parent again. He hasn't been in the kids life for a few yrs. Its sooo frusterating, I love him with everything in me, btutttt do I want a father that doesn't care for my child. Its a very hard decision to make. Im tryin to not stress bout it, this how I feel now, it is what it is. He hasn't been there, im alone in this and if ima single parent. I know I can do it. I jus pray everyday god gives me strength. But deep down, IT HURTS. And it makes me sooo mad he hasn't even gone to an ultrasound. I see all these couples goin in together, it just sux.

[Lesley27]

Is it just the appointments he doesnt show interest in? like does he talk about the baby with you, talk baby names or talk baby room at all? It could be that he wasnt ever expected to go for his ex's appointments and he doesnt understand why its a big deal... does he go to the ultrasound appointments as id be upset if he didnt want to go to that...

Oh and i understand the spacing out discusions, i think my guy is the king of that! adn the changing the subject king too... very aggravating!!