Pressure to tell the WHOLE family

[RBarron]

I will be 11 weeks pregnant on May 5 (2 days from now) and my mom is pressuring me to tell the whole family. When I say whole family, I mean tell my grandmother who will be on the phone within the hour and tell my 30+ relatives spread all over the country. I have an OB appointment on May 5 as well and I told her that if everything looked good that I'd tell my grandmother on Mothers Day (May 9). I just feel like it's still so early. I will be about 11.5 weeks along. I didn't want to tell anyone until I was 14 weeks, but if I don't tell then my mom will and ruin it for me. She's really pushy and it's making me regret telling her at all.

This is my first pregnancy and I'm under a lot of stress at school - I'm a PhD student at a critical time in my research. I know I should not be afraid of miscarrying because that's bad karma or whatever, but I'm just so nervous for everyone to know. With that said, I'm starting to show so I don't know how much longer I can keep it a secret anyway. What do you guys think? Is it still too early to tell everyone? Should I go for it?

[RBarron]

Thanks ladies. I think when I go to the appointment tomorrow I will feel much better if everything is OK. I think it just hasn't sunk in with me yet so I feel nervous about making it known to everyone. My mom is already buying me a stroller and a high chair and it's just moving really fast for me.

[ss712]

I wanted to wait until 14 weeks as well but I cant keep it any longer so have decided to tell the whole family at 12 weeks which will be next week. i think once you pass 9-10 weeks,its pretty safe and 95% pregnancies continue to a healthy pregnancy.But jrobertson is right,do when you feel like it or u r comfortable.

[jrobertson20]

You need to do what is comfortable for you.  Don't let other people make you do something you are not comfortable with.  I wanted to wait until I was 12 weeks (which I am now) but we ended up telling them at Easter at 8 weeks.  The only reason I was ok with it was because we saw a baby and a heartbeat on the ultrasound.  What's the harm in waiting until mothers day.  Wait until you are comfortable.  When you reach 13 weeks you are offically in your second trimester and the rate of miscarriage goes down.  That being said making it to 11 weeks is also really good.  Maybe when you go to your appt yesterday and you hear the heartbeat it will make you feel better about everything.  Good luck.