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Unsupportive Family Members
My boyfriend and I are expecting our first baby due in October. We announced to close family and then on Facebook around 12 weeks. I am the oldest child in my family and he is the youngest in his. His oldest sister is married and has no children, but claims to have been trying for quite some time. When we told her that I was pregnant, she blew things out of proportion and said that she hates us and even now, 9 weeks later, she gets mad when we talk about what's going on and when we show his parents the newest ultrasound pictures. I understand that it probably hurts that we didn't plan on having a baby right now and that she's been trying, but when will it end?! My aunt (by marriage) refuses to be happy for us as well. She and my uncle have a son who is about 3 or 4, and she is supposedly trying for another one and isn't happy again for the same reason that our pregnancy was unplanned. She basically told me that my boyfriend, the father of my baby, wouldn't stick around. What would you do in this situation? How long will it last? Should I just stop inviting them to things and not let them be involved? It makes me feel like they think that we planned to "ruin" their plans of having a baby(or another baby) or that we've somehow "ruined" their life by getting pregnant. I just want things to go back to normal. Some may think I'm being insensitive or rude, but that is not my intention. I just don't like walking around eggshells all the time and I just don't know what to do.
Some things you just have to acknowledge exist, even though you don't understand it at ALL. Like, anorexia. I do NOT get that disease, why women will starve themselves to death. Don't get it.
I also don't get why so many infertile women are SO vindictive and spiteful. I don't get it, but I acknowledge it. It's common. (There are some infertile women who are supportive of other moms, or who at least take great pains to hid their jealousy, but there are enough who don't). If someone really really wants a nice car, they hang out with people with nice cars and oggle them. If someone really wants a horse, they make friends with people with horses so they can be there too.
Women who are trying to conceive and can't, are often the complete opposite and I honestly think many of them, if they could cause other women to miscarry and never be caught causing it, they would. They would actually want the baby dead.
Enjoy your pregnancy - and when you show the pictures to his parents and talk about your pregnancy, do it when his sister isn't around.
I also don't get why so many infertile women are SO vindictive and spiteful. I don't get it, but I acknowledge it. It's common. (There are some infertile women who are supportive of other moms, or who at least take great pains to hid their jealousy, but there are enough who don't). If someone really really wants a nice car, they hang out with people with nice cars and oggle them. If someone really wants a horse, they make friends with people with horses so they can be there too.
Women who are trying to conceive and can't, are often the complete opposite and I honestly think many of them, if they could cause other women to miscarry and never be caught causing it, they would. They would actually want the baby dead.
Enjoy your pregnancy - and when you show the pictures to his parents and talk about your pregnancy, do it when his sister isn't around.
I would just ignore there rude comments, and just be happy with people who is happy about your pregnancy and I would still invite them and even there not cool about it at least your not sinking down there level but being the better person and not saying anything back or by not including them, hopefully they will come around if there mature enough grown woman... enjoy your pregnancy and down let there negativity get to you :)
I feel the same way! I'm scared to tell my mother because she told me not to get pregnant again but my husband doesn't have kids and he wants a baby. I feel sad and lonely. Pray to God so he can comfort you. He has helped me. I'm sorry that your family is so mean to you. I'm happy for you congrats
It's not just me that see their actions as wrong. Even my boyfriends stepmom, who also has no children of her own(due to his dad going through surgery to get "fixed" and having the surgery reversed and it not working) thinks that his sister is being absurd an rude. She knows what it's like to watch everyone around her have children and instead of being visibly upset and rude, she gives nothing but love and support.
Going well had the same issue. A lot of people are like big deal that I'm pregnant. Saying things like he is going to leave me. Its just like no excitement really about baby girl. However we have learned to ignore it and move forward with trying to build our family. The baby is a blessing regardless. You can't help the timing. You just have to trust God's plan for your new addition. If they come around they do if they don't oh well. However I do also understand the pressure and pain and can put on you two as a couple.
If you're more relaxed without them being them then don't invite them or keep them updated. They shouldn't bring you down for their insecurities or problems. That's just so rude of them. I mean you can't be the only one in yours or your bfs family to see how wrong that is of them!
Sounds like a bunch of jealously. Which is pretty sad coming from two grown women.
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