Unannounced or uninvited visitors

[LN0914]

I am due next week and this is my first child. I know I will have a lot of visitors at the hospital and at the house but I want to keep them to minimum. Does anyone have any advice on how to prevent people (my in-laws to be exact) from just stopping by without any warning or INVITATION! They have been doing it a lot lately and I know they will continue to do once our baby is here and I really do not like that!

Thanks!

[misstoyo]

Hospital time is not fo visitors! I tell my family and my in laws that if you choose to visit in the hospital you will most likely see me topless and nursing and don't expect to be touching the baby. Same goes for at home first 2 months is our time with our new baby. If you choose to come visit especially unannounced you are going to see me topless and possibly with no pants Lmfao!  My mil is great though she is a nurse and gets it! Her help offers have been to take our older boys to the park and cook dinner for us instead of attempts to take The baby like my mil with my first son. Be stearn and don't back down tell the nurses what you want and they will stick to it. Tell the family if you do not want to see my boobs do not come to the house unannounced or in the first 4 weeks lol

[AnnieBrooke]

I think that if you can't stand to just say no right up front, and lock your doors (change the locks if they have a key),  you could soften the blow by saying you are only going to let any visitors in during certain times.  Name a 4-hour period every Monday and Friday, or whatever you think you can stand.  Put a sign on the door with those hours.  And lock the doors and ignore the doorbell any other times.  They will get the hint.  

But you really are better off in advance just explaining that during the early days you will be adjusting to motherhood and do not want anyone to just show up, and you won't come to the door if people do.  Say you are sorry if this sounds unfriendly but this is just all so new that you need the time.  Explain that this is the way it is going to be.

[nmprice09]

With #2 my husband and I had a welcome home party for our son (I had a planned c-section so PLANING the party was easy) to keep from having this problem, though it wasn't that bad with #1. Everyone knew was a good time to come see our son. We just did sandwiches and some little crock pot sides with of course a cake (I made it look kind like a birth announcement.) With this baby my mom, one of my aunts, and maybe my dad (if he can get the time off from work) are going to be staying with me just before my son is born and till after Christmas (due just before) which is a good thing because my husband is on a deployment. My brother is stationed at the same base but not part of the deployment but he doesn't have the patience's to take care of my older sons while I'm in the hospital.

[dianaexoh]

When in labor with my son, my siblings and their spouses as well as a slew of my boyfriend's friend came into my room and chatted while I was too focused on riding out contractions to be able to tell them to get out. Until it was time to push, I had 10 people in my room, despite having a hospital rule of 2-3. This time, everyone has been warned that if I so much as hear that they are waiting in the lobby, I will ask to have them escorted out of the hospital. Even though I had an ideal and quick labor and delivery, it was so stressful having uninvited people there. A ton of people I didn't want to see came up to the hospital and to the house in the days following and it was more stressful than enjoyable. The best thing you can do is be up front immediately, you have to be your own advocate.

[hcross16]

Google "Best of delivery room drama babycenter"
There are some amazing woman on there and they have helped me so much with issues. I read through the whole thread and I have a very specific birth plan planned out with absolutely no visitors. I am learning to grow a spine. No is a complete sentence. Seriously I don't know what I would have done without that group!

[Latamaulipas]

I'm also due next week n my hubby's family wants to all of sudden wanna be part of our baby's life but he says he don't want none of his family coming to see us cuz I mean I kinda understand him cuz they have never visited him back then so now that we we're having our first baby they decide to start coming around to the house knocking n  trying to contact me on Facebook but my hubby tells me not to answer them ...

[AJsbaby]

Im going to have to be forceful with my mother in law as well its incredibly frustrating but Im already preempting her for giving my husband and I the hour alone with our son directly after he is born and Im 10 weeks from my due date... Parent child alone and bonding time is sooo important. Id even go so far as to lock the doors at my house and dont answer if they knock. I know my MIL likes to knock as shes walking through the door. So Im going to need to be forceful and borderline obnoxious for her to get the hint!

[jen0221]

It is especially hard with in-laws. Where we live, to most people it is like camping, so my inlaws have had their camper here since about February. They told my hubby that after the baby was born they wanted to come up and stay for a week. Not only that but wanted to bring my autistic nephew with them. I have nothing against him, but I really didn't think I would be in the mood for questions about questions right after birth when I'm already tired and irritable anyway. They said they would keep my older boys in their trailer and just take them fishing. It was a great thought, but in the heat of summer, my kids wouldn't be able to stay outside all day every day. Not to mention, my inlaws usually come inside to use the potty rather than their own in the camper, so I'd have people walking in and out all day. Long list of reasons and long story short, I am thankful they only stayed a weekend without my nephew. I was already ready for them to be gone by the end of the 3 days. My suggestion is just to stand your ground. To avoid people just walking in, keep your doors locked so that at least if they do show up unannounced, you have time to cover up or get yourself decent. Also to avoid unexpected visitors when I've been in labor, I simply didn't tell anyone when I went into labor.

[LN0914]

Thank you all! Makes me feel better about just being upfront with them! @sgulia1987-sounds exactly like my MIL!

[Toyske]

Be honest about the situation and if it's hard for you, let your hubby talk to them since those are his family members. I just delivered my babygirl a week ago and i had to be bitchy about unannounced visits since they ignored my friendly request. You and the baby need the quality time to bond and to REST so put those priorities first because when u or the baby get sick, they will not be there to cure you or help you out through the sleepless nights! Good luck momma, you got this x

[Ashleyledoux]

Oh the hospital staff can help with that! My lactation consultant already warned me she will kick everyone out so I can rest! Try consulting with them!

[sgulia1987]

It's no fun to do but I would straight up tell them that they have to talk to you guys before coming over. If you are breastfeeding use that as your reason why. I have similar issues with my in-laws. I had to tell my MIL no because she wanted to stay for a week after I had my son and she is very stressful and I didn't want to deal with it. Also I didn't want to have to try to cover up or go into another room every time I wanted to feed my son and I was uncomfortable with her being there when I was trying to learn to breastfeed. They also told us they were going to be in own one night but weren't coming over till morning but decided to just show up the night before and walk in anyway. Yea I was sitting in the living room pumping and they sent the other grandkids in first. I was sooo mad. You have a right to your boundaries and if your in-laws are anything like mine if you don't put your foot down and make it clear they will walk all over you.

[susamor]

Try establishing a day when a specific visitor will stop by, preferably when its convenient for you and you can use their help carrying the baby. That way you can plan your day around that time.