drunk boyfriend

[allie310109]

I am getting so fed up with my boyfriend and his drinking. He has to have a beer in his hand by noon everyday and I don't know how to vent my feelings to him cause by the time he gets home at night he's drunk and doesn't act rational. He works 7 days a week doing landscaping and is making money but has to stop at the bar throughout the day between jobs and I just don't understand why! He keeps telling me he's gonna stop drinking but I know it's lies. I've been hearing it since I got pregnant and now I'm halfway through and just beyond frustrated. He tries to kiss all over me at night but the smell of beer makes my stomach turn since I got pregnant. Sorry for the long rant but I just don't know if he's ever gonna change after the baby comes like he says he's going to do. I just wish I could get him sober so we could rationally discuss how I feel without feeling like a total nagging girlfriend

[thatsweetboysmommy]

Maybe try and catch him whenever he is sober, like in the morning and tell him you need to talk to him sober,  that its important to you, and if he agrees whenever yall talk maybe approach the situation as to make a plan to slowly help him slow down and maybe that will help him want to actually try and stop for his family. He will know he has your full support and he will hopefully follow through! Maybe he is just stressed, my husband sometimes gets very stressed and worried about things for our family that I had no idea he was worried abt, and maybe thats how your bf is choosing to handle the stress unfortunately:/ ur in my prayers!

[Appassionata]

Good advice

[kd97229]

You can't make him stop if he doesnt want to. But you can decide whether you can deal with him like this (it sounds like you can't). Tell him calmly of your options (when he's sober, like pp suggested) and let him know it's his choice to change and keep you, or to not. Don't respond to his anger or guilt. Give him a deadline. You have to have a specific plan to move out, break up, etc that you are able to follow through on.

Unfortunately you can only control yourself and your actions, not his :-( good luck getting through this... And know that your life will improve remarkably either way.

[allie310109]

Thank you so much ladies this is really good advice. I've already spoke to my mom weeks ago about maybe leaving him and she was 100% supportive of taking me and my son (child from my previous marriage) in. At least I know I have options. Just hard cause he loves me so much and maybe I'm just putting too much pressure on him but I feel extremely maternal right now and want the best lifestyle for my children

[areal10]

It sounds like he's an alcoholic. Normal people dont need to stop at the bar several times during the day. For his sake he needs to get help & if he plans on being alive long enough to see his child grow up he needs help. I would tell him that if he doesn't get help with his drinking then he leaves you no choice but to leave.

[2nvus4me]

Yes these are tale tale signs. Go to your moms he will temporarily get better but don't be quick to run back. This takes time amd more than on AA type class. I can't say he's not sincere when he says he going to stop... but he may need help