Aa
Monster Mother in law
Okkkk. So I always felt after meeting my MIL that she seemed unhappy or miserable about something. For our wedding she showed up dressed like she was going to the beach and never said congrats or even so much as have us a card. Now I'm 6 months pregnant, still no congrats or help. My husband is away and she told us that she would help with bills until he came back. Well she did for 3 months but I kept having to remind her. Smh I feel like if you say your going to do something, do it! !! She hasn't brought any baby stuff and when she asked did I need help I told her yes but she still hasn't and we have 3 months left. Don't you think You should be doing something? I honestly don't know what to think of this lady at all... just doesn't add up. Anyway she tells my husband how she's going to do this and that for the baby and she's going to spoil her but I really don't plan on the baby Being around her like that. I'm definitely not having her in the delivery room! What do you guys think?
COMMUNITY LEADER
The internet is a place to get different perspectives to consider. If I had to remind someone about money they said they were giving me-- I'd assume they didn't want to give it to me and if I could afford the bill myself, I'd pay it. I'm not sure what you are complaining about. Just being honest.
You seem to be calling her a monster for dressing badly and not giving you money when she had maybe mentioned in a moment of bravado that she would and then realized she really couldn't. And since you say you can afford your bills--- then maybe she doesn't think it is necessary anymore. (as you said you had plenty of money).
I think taking what people write to you based off the information you provided is food for thought. You can be mad at her or write her off or whatever. But since you don't need her to pay your bills, I'd just be gracious and move on and try not to make a big deal out of it. We can be irritated at people for a million reasons in life but in the end, most are just doing the best they can. We all make mistakes and your mother in law does too. Cut her some slack and just move on. I can almost bet my life that your significant other will appreciate it because most men feel caught in the middle of their wives and mother in laws and just wish for peace. good luck
You seem to be calling her a monster for dressing badly and not giving you money when she had maybe mentioned in a moment of bravado that she would and then realized she really couldn't. And since you say you can afford your bills--- then maybe she doesn't think it is necessary anymore. (as you said you had plenty of money).
I think taking what people write to you based off the information you provided is food for thought. You can be mad at her or write her off or whatever. But since you don't need her to pay your bills, I'd just be gracious and move on and try not to make a big deal out of it. We can be irritated at people for a million reasons in life but in the end, most are just doing the best they can. We all make mistakes and your mother in law does too. Cut her some slack and just move on. I can almost bet my life that your significant other will appreciate it because most men feel caught in the middle of their wives and mother in laws and just wish for peace. good luck
Lol ok. Then carry on since you don't get it Rock rose. If you don't get it why comment? That I don't understand. If you're going to keep commenting please comprehend. Lol FOR THE 2000000 time, I'm not struggling. I repeat, NICKY IS NOT STRUGGLING! I make my own money. If I can afford to pay a bill for my mother why wouldn't I be able to pay my own? Does that make sense? All I'm saying is don't say YOU'RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING THEN DON'T. if I really needed help from her Iwould be in bad shape. I get SUPPORT AND HELP from my side as well as my husband.
And honestly, if you were my daughter and I found out your MIL was paying your bills, I'd throw myself down an elevator shaft before I'd allow you to pay my credit card bill that I could easily afford.
I really don't get it.
I really don't get it.
No, I don't actually understand. Considering you're struggling and are relying on your MIL to pay your bills, I honestly can't fathom why you are paying your mother's credit card bills when they have plenty of money.
I just don't know anyone at all who does that - who pays each others bills (your MIL paying yours, you paying your mother's) when the person can easily pay it themselves.
And my guess is, your MIL is kind of scratching her head over it too.
I just don't know anyone at all who does that - who pays each others bills (your MIL paying yours, you paying your mother's) when the person can easily pay it themselves.
And my guess is, your MIL is kind of scratching her head over it too.
Reminding her as in saying " hey were you still sending half the check in so ik what to do" and that's exactly what I say. And I say that much only Because she has the address to the place and I don't want her sending in a check if I already paid for it! Do you get it? Ok here's a good example, I told my mom I would help pay her credit bill since she's not working right now so I do. She doesn't have to ask me but she does ask before the due date to see if she should pay it. My mom is married to my dad who makes Good money but I offered because that's my mom. It's not like she's struggling, I offered! Lol do you understand? But ok my rant is over about ppl not keeping up with their word. Ig they don't make em like us anymore lbs I'm by no means struggling btw.!
Yes, you did ask her.
That's what "reminding" is. Asking.
I'm sorry you're struggling, but since you can make it on your own without her help, I think that would be a great thing to do.
Show her you can make it on your own, without reminding her to give you money.
That's what "reminding" is. Asking.
I'm sorry you're struggling, but since you can make it on your own without her help, I think that would be a great thing to do.
Show her you can make it on your own, without reminding her to give you money.
She got deleted! Thank God but for ppl commenting saying that I'm asking her to pay bills please reread my post. I NEVER ASKED HER TO PAY MY BILLS I REPEAT MYSELF, I NEVER ASKED HER! this is not her baby. I work full time and am a student. I can and do pay my own bills. I'm very independent. What I was referring to was her making empty promises. What is the point of promising to do something and don't? It just urks me. I was raised to keep your word. If I was waiting on her I wouldn't have anything lol . I just hate empty promises that's all! I can take care of my baby girl with mine and my husband money alone. Ig I just want her to be more involved and I'm not sure why she's not.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sorry, cut myself off.
anyway, I feel for you. It IS hard when your partner is gone overseas, you're tired and money is short. It would be nice if she helped you but I just don't think you should be mad if she doesn't. This time of year, no one has that much extra money to give.
It's a frustrating situation that you are in and stressful I am sure. I would just sit down and think about how you can make life better and more stable financially through your own doing. That's the best thing. It sounds like you are going to need to think of a career path for yourself. I'm happy to help with that if you need any.
Hang in there. I hope that things get better really soon hon.
anyway, I feel for you. It IS hard when your partner is gone overseas, you're tired and money is short. It would be nice if she helped you but I just don't think you should be mad if she doesn't. This time of year, no one has that much extra money to give.
It's a frustrating situation that you are in and stressful I am sure. I would just sit down and think about how you can make life better and more stable financially through your own doing. That's the best thing. It sounds like you are going to need to think of a career path for yourself. I'm happy to help with that if you need any.
Hang in there. I hope that things get better really soon hon.
COMMUNITY LEADER
In all honesty, I think it is way too much to ask for someone else to pay your bills. Adults take care of their own finances especially if taking on the responsibility of a child. I hate to say it that way but that is the reality.
I wouldn't be mad at someone for how they dressed or that they didn't come through paying my bills. she gave you the gift of your husband and honestly, that is all she owes you.
do you have family on your side that can help? Any long range goals or plans on how you can get ahead? Perhaps some job training?? College?
I wouldn't be mad at someone for how they dressed or that they didn't come through paying my bills. she gave you the gift of your husband and honestly, that is all she owes you.
do you have family on your side that can help? Any long range goals or plans on how you can get ahead? Perhaps some job training?? College?
Nicky I agree that when someone says they will do something they should follow through with it. I have had many problems with other relatives doing the same. I also have a monster in law myself. She has hated me since day 1. Lucky for me she lives 2000 miles away. We flew to visit her once when my daughter was 4 months old and she bought a couple outfits for her while we were there. She has not sent her one birthday card or Christmas present ever and my daughter is 3 now. She lays the guilt trip on us that she never sees her but we have told her she is welcome to visit us anytime. It is much easier to have her come here than all of us to go there. She has recently said she plans to come and visit when out son is born in May, needless to say we are not holding our breath because it will probably be a another in a long line of broken promises.
Lol its the principal. If you say you're going to do something, do it. I have a very strong support system. I have my parents and my side of the family period. I just feel like don't tell me you're going to do something and not folllow through. What was the point of you telling me then?? Lol and she will be the main one asking to always get my baby! No ma'am. Lol thanks ladies :-)
There are things that seem odd that seems has done but I have to agree rockrose...it is not her responsibility to finacially support you and your husband AND purchase items for the baby. She has offered to help and she has,who cares that you had to remind her. And and as far as her demeanor goes, maybe she's dealing with personal issues that no one is aware of? I would say that if you need that much help and support you should probably have a bigger support system and maybe be grateful for the help she has given you so far.
to the numbers poster:
you didn't tell your future mother in law that you were engaged?Your husband didn't call his parents within a day or so of your getting engaged?
I can't imagine being estranged like that.
you didn't tell your future mother in law that you were engaged?Your husband didn't call his parents within a day or so of your getting engaged?
I can't imagine being estranged like that.
Technically it is not her responsibility but you & your husbands to buy stuff for the baby.. My MIl doesn't, but for baby shower she did get a few gifts of course.
I am kind of in the same boat! I feel like the mother of the husband will always feel like your taking what's theres. I recently got engagement and she called complaining that we didn't tell her. I'm sorry but what does my engagement have to do with you. I'm 31 weeks and she's been okay with buying stuff for house (play pen,cradle and clothes) expect she lives 2 hours away. No way will I ever make a road trip with a newborn. I would tell your husband because in the end he will always listen to you.
I think it's asking a lot for your husband's mother to provide a lot of financial help and baby things.
I would be very grateful that she helped you out for the first 3 months.
Sorry.
Do you have a mom or dad who can support you both until you are able to support yourselves and your baby?
I would be very grateful that she helped you out for the first 3 months.
Sorry.
Do you have a mom or dad who can support you both until you are able to support yourselves and your baby?
Thank you and idk how to tell him gently.. I think he's going to be in denial about it
Stuff that room I wont have her in there tell hubby whays been going on but tell him gently
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