people in delivery room or visits after having he baby

[bluu1218]

Okay so my boyfriend is upset that I want my sister in the delivery room and I don't want his sister to be come to the hospital after our son is born let alone be in the delivery room . why?? Because me ams her DO NOT get along . she hasn't spoken to me in months . and she always making smart remarks . indirectly of course . my sister calls me she checks up on me but his sister can see me and not even say hello . and u think I want someone around my child that doesn't like me . tell me am I right or wrong ??

[jessielynn2014]

Julie2467, usually men don't go to showers. At least not in my family.

[RockRose]

Bluu  I think that's a great attitude.  You can only control your own behavior,  you can't control anyone else's.  

If you take the high road,  and invite her after the baby is born,  that's all you can do.  And your boyfriend will be happy.

[specialmom]

You seem like a really reasonable person.  That you've warmed to your partner's first son's mother really says a lot about you (all good).  You have a heart for people that are kind to you so that you don't want his sister there sounds legit.  Absolutely NOT the delivery room.  

Does she know the problem you have about her and her kids and what they were saying?  Sometimes talking about it, even though it is hard, can help a situation.  Even if it goes on deaf ears----  just laying it out why you have a problem with her ignoring her kids calling a little guy dumb.  ??

anyway, hopefully that will get better.  Problems in family are hard to deal with.  But that you are open to people means you must have tried and she's given you good reason to not want her around.  good luck

[julie2467]

I agree with you I'm in the same place except it's my mom's husband and we don't get along at all I can't stand him. I don't even want him at my baby shower I feel if someone has a problem with you why should they get to enjoy what you are bringing into this world..

[KristyLove1369]

I'd say she should maybe able to see the baby after you leae the hospital but at the hospital may be too early to have her around. Bad energy and you don't need that, especially right after birth.

[bluu1218]

^^^agreed jessielynn2014 . if anything I would want his mother (god rest her soul) to be there and believe it or not my boyfriend first son mother . she has helped me with so much and threw me a suprise baby shower . I just want positive energy . around . and now that I thought about it it would be selfish of me to keep him away from his family . so I'm about to invite her . its on her if she comes or not

[jessielynn2014]

My MIL thinks she will be in the delivery room when i have my baby but she is sadly mistaken! I only deal with her bc she is his mom. She also thinks im going to let the baby stay with her. That aint happening. EVER!!!! She her hasband and 2 brothers live together and all smoke inside their home. My child is not going to be around that!

[bluu1218]

SPRINGMOMMY thats how I feel . I just don't want any drama because one smart remark I'm going to say something

[bluu1218]

I forgot to add the reason we don't get along . her kids age 9+12 kept calling my 1 year old at the time dumb.  I told her that I don't think its right and she says well they just kids they call they cousins and friends dumb (who are the same age as them) then she says but to call a baby dumb and u sitting imnthe room and not saying nothing I got offended

[springmommy]

I totally understand where your coming from I am in the same situation with my boyfriends sister and she makes the same remarks. I tell my bf if she will come and visit my baby at the hospital I don't want any negative attitude or remarks and if she doesn't like the conditions don't even bother coming I wouldn't want my new born baby in a negative environment.

[specialmom]

Well, it definitely sounds like your boyfriend's sister shouldn't be in the delivery room---  too stressful.  I know I JUST had my husband with me.  It was a special thing for us to share and it was just he and I . . .   and a bunch of nurses and a doctor.  LOL

But let me just say that if his sister wants to visit in the hospital, I would consider letting her.  Here's why.  People can not get along and things can switch.  If you and your boyfriend are together forever, it would be nice if family could be cordial.  Doesn't mean that you have to love her or anything or do lots of things with her.  But coming to see the baby is a nice gesture and a way to welcome your little baby into the family.  It could go a long way to making things more peaceful.  I'm sure she wouldn't stay long---  just say hello to you, her brother and the baby.  

So, unless you think there would be some fight, I'd see this baby as a new beginning for lots of things.  :<)))  good luck

[TerranAniya15]

I don't think your wrong bc you need someone that is going to give you good energy and that is going to support you bc del every can be stressful as hell. But if she is not going to respect you as the mother of her brothers child then no she doesn't need to see or be around the baby..

[Emalee132]

Well it is his child too and her niece/nephew.... I think that it's fair that you don't want her in the delivery room... But I do think that some compromise needs to be made about his sister seeing the child after birth. Just because you guys don't get along doesn't mean it's not apart of her family. It's just like when people get a divorce, you should always suck it up when it comes to family because in the end you're only hurting the child by limiting the family they can or cannot see because of your own selffish reasons. Not at all saying you're selffish, the situation is.

[bluu1218]

Sorry typo

*the baby

*and we DO NOT GET ALONG