In-Laws!

[Kesh86]

So my boyfriend & I decided to go visit his parent's like we do every weekend. For the past couple month's, since I've been pregnant she's been making super fly remarks to me. She says to me "don't be expecting to drop your baby off at my house, I'm done raising kid's". My boyfriend has a 9 year old daughter and her mom always pawns her off on the grandparents (not my fault). I kindly explained to her that I don't need no one to take care of my child but his or her parent's. I have an 11 year old son from a previous relationship and he's always with me. To make a long story short I'm tired of her making dumb, childish remarks to me. When I tell my boyfriend he thinks I'm overreacting, but he knows how his mom is. I just don't want her around me or my kid's with bad energy. Has anyone else experienced this before?? If so how did you deal with it?

[Kesh86]

Thanks! I wish you & yours nothing but the best! Hopefully we'll get to chat more, but about POSITIVE thing's LOL!! Take care (:

[specialmom]

Well, she sounds like a difficult woman.  For sure.  And my mother in law was as well.  I grew to have a cold heart toward her for a LONG time and then when I started to feel like it hurt my husband to be that way and saw that my kids DID really like her and their relationship with her, my heart softened.  So, don't give up hope.  I took a more "oh whatever' attitude with her in my mind to where I just decided to think of her as eccentric and then it was much easier to take.  

You aren't alone with the not so perfect mother in laws.  I'm glad you'll continue to try and you may be surprised at the bond she forms with the child you are carrying.  And I know that my husband knew everything I thought about his mom was right but it still hurt on some level for me to share it.

My mother in law is now passed away.  And I MISS her for the relationship she had with my kids.  It wasn't the grandmotherly type of relationship I always thought of but it was a relationship none the less and they miss her.  Grandmas, even when imperfect, are important in their own way.  

anyway, on a side not-------  Yeah you!!!!!!  Your story of getting on with life and doing what you have to do to be a success is amazing!  You're my kind of woman!  I love that you took care of business and made a life for your son and you and hope it continues down a happy path!!  You rock!  

[Kesh86]

@SpecialMom you make a VALID point. I've actually tried on numerous occasions to sit down & talk to her, but it always goes bad. I hate the fact that she tries to compare me against this young lady. I've been a WOMAN since I was 17. I got pregnant, had my son & still did what I was suppose to. I've never asked for any handouts, I busted my *** to get through college to provide a better life for my son & I. Then what kind of WOMAN compares kid's?! I've told her numerous of times that I'm 28 not 12. I feel like if I'm acting my age why can't she? As far as other family member and friend's she's done ran them off!! Nobody wants to be around a Debby downer all the time. I'm gone continue to respect her because that's how my parent's raised me, but I will not tolerate ignorance! I feel like it's too contagious.

[specialmom]

Welcome to the joys of family!!  Ha ha.   So, you  have a mother in law that makes weird comments . ..   I'll officially welcome you to the club.  When she says things like that you say "Oh, glad you told me that but I would never think of doing that.  I never want you to feel taken advantage of".  There really isn't any reason to get mad.  Past history tells her that her son and his significant others like to drop the kids.  You'll prove her wrong.  

I tried to do the distance too and frankly, could hardly stand the woman, but over time I noticed something.  She had her own unique bond with the kids in our family.  She wasn't very grandmotherly by my standards but they LOVED her.  And that is pretty cool for your kids. It allowed me to be more tolerant of the way she is because my kids really got something out of that relationship and it sure made my husband happy to not hear me complaining about his mom.

Cause even if you are right, that hurts your man.  he wants a peaceful family dynamic and is trying for that by going to visit his mom with you.  Your family will be happier if you just think "she's a pain" in your head rather than saying it or purposely putting distance.  

Because I am guessing that in the end you'll find what I did.  She is how she is and lots of people still love her anyway (like your partner and your baby will too).  So, just tolerate her which doesn't mean you love everything she does.  good luck

[AprilBabe26]

Currently keeping a big distance from my mil, feel like things are going to blow up when the baby is born. She's a crazy ball of negativity-I truly don't trust her & there's just no way she'll be spending much time with my child. I believe the truth needs to be said & you need to speak your piece to avoid further stress & resentment.

[Lucy_Amor]

Communication is key, Don't let things get worse.  Simply explaint to her that you dont appreciate her rude comments.

[SaraaaBMendivil]

I had that problem BAD i say distance your self before things get worst and ugly

[sasha_swtheart]

I agree. You're going to have to straighten her out asap. Try not to be rude but be firm.

[wayfunmommy]

You're just going to have to be politely blunt with her.