Aa
how to deal w/baby daddy
I'm not WITH the baby's father, currently 27 weeks pregnant. He's been involved and its been OK. What I don't think I'm ready for tho is knowing that he is dating or seeing someone. We broke up a month before I knew I was pregnant so its been a little hard.
What are your experiences with dealing with co-parenting?
What are your experiences with dealing with co-parenting?
oh, I know.
I shake my head even when he texts me and I text back. Always right away. When I tell myself not to, to let him feel the feeling of being ignored. But I can never hold out for more than a few minutes.
*sigh.
I agree with you 100% in the fact that it will NEVER be the same. He's taken those feelings of so much love and trust away from me, and replaced them with doubt, and resentment of having put me and my daughter in such a position.
We've agreed to not speak the duration of his trip, which i'm at peace with. I love him - I truly do. So I want him to be happy, and if that's not with me, so be it. But I know for a fact it isn't with her either, lol. I think that's what gets to me :p
I shake my head even when he texts me and I text back. Always right away. When I tell myself not to, to let him feel the feeling of being ignored. But I can never hold out for more than a few minutes.
*sigh.
I agree with you 100% in the fact that it will NEVER be the same. He's taken those feelings of so much love and trust away from me, and replaced them with doubt, and resentment of having put me and my daughter in such a position.
We've agreed to not speak the duration of his trip, which i'm at peace with. I love him - I truly do. So I want him to be happy, and if that's not with me, so be it. But I know for a fact it isn't with her either, lol. I think that's what gets to me :p
COMMUNITY LEADER
From all of your journals and posts, this is hard. I think this was coming before he told you based on journals you wrote even before finding out you were pregnant. HE does sound confused. But that is no reason to hold out any hope to be with him. It will NEVER bet he same between you. You will never trust him or feel fresh, sweet love for him. While you have a desperate feeling inside to be with him now for various reasons--- the feelings you have that you loved him, the rage of rejection, the financial worry of being alone, etc. these things weaken your position to live an authentic life with someone that has never left you hanging as he has. EVEN if he decides "oh yeah, I guess I'll be with you"--- you don't want a guy like that. You'll NEVER be safe with him. That's just my opinion.
I would establish yourself as an independent woman and DO NOT do things like sleep with him. That is a major step backwards and gives you this false hope that things could go back to how they were. Even if he and his ex don't end up together---- it will never go back to how it was sweetie. (and you should not let it for what he did to you).
good luck and peace and hugs to you too
I would establish yourself as an independent woman and DO NOT do things like sleep with him. That is a major step backwards and gives you this false hope that things could go back to how they were. Even if he and his ex don't end up together---- it will never go back to how it was sweetie. (and you should not let it for what he did to you).
good luck and peace and hugs to you too
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Well, in focusing on your situation that you've written about--- let me just say I am really sorry. That is such crummy timing and it stinks that you are at a vulnerable time that is supposed to be really happy. I'm sure you are feeling really lonely and hurt.
Ya know, I would not focus on his being with another person. Sure, he will be. Chances are, you will too. Hopefully he will pick a nice person and that will be the reality for your shared child when with their dad. Don't assume it will be a horrible person but rather, cross your fingers that she is nice. And nice to your child. That is what really matters. The experience your child has when in his father's care.
I whole heartedly believe that every child is better off unless their father is an axe murder, raging addict, abusive person knowing and being parented by their other parent. Kids WANT to know their fathers. Around second grade they become acutely aware of no daddy in their life and it hurts. Your job as the child's mommy is to ensure that doesn't happen to the best of your ability. You can't help if someone doesn't want to be involved but if they do---- you encourage it and work as a team with that person.
I know it is hard. But I could move mountains for my child. I can overcome anything. And I can stuff my own personal pride and hurt aside to do what is right for my sweet babies. Looking into their eyes is the strength I need.
So, give it some time but begin to think of your ex as a business partner. the business of raising a great kid. And his significant other and your significant other are like their 'helpers'. Getting along with them is important. you can hate them deep down but work with them and be polite. Because THAT is what is best for your baby hon.
Hang in there and if you need to talk, vent, cry or strategize--- I am always here. peace and hugs
Ya know, I would not focus on his being with another person. Sure, he will be. Chances are, you will too. Hopefully he will pick a nice person and that will be the reality for your shared child when with their dad. Don't assume it will be a horrible person but rather, cross your fingers that she is nice. And nice to your child. That is what really matters. The experience your child has when in his father's care.
I whole heartedly believe that every child is better off unless their father is an axe murder, raging addict, abusive person knowing and being parented by their other parent. Kids WANT to know their fathers. Around second grade they become acutely aware of no daddy in their life and it hurts. Your job as the child's mommy is to ensure that doesn't happen to the best of your ability. You can't help if someone doesn't want to be involved but if they do---- you encourage it and work as a team with that person.
I know it is hard. But I could move mountains for my child. I can overcome anything. And I can stuff my own personal pride and hurt aside to do what is right for my sweet babies. Looking into their eyes is the strength I need.
So, give it some time but begin to think of your ex as a business partner. the business of raising a great kid. And his significant other and your significant other are like their 'helpers'. Getting along with them is important. you can hate them deep down but work with them and be polite. Because THAT is what is best for your baby hon.
Hang in there and if you need to talk, vent, cry or strategize--- I am always here. peace and hugs
thats tough, idk how to even deal with the man i love having a child with someone else...thats what I'm afraid of too.
I know forcing a relationship because of a baby is NOT healthy or genuine. it just kinda still hurts he has no desire to be with me. he wants to be involved but its still like i get the short end of the stick.
I hate the idea of in the future him settling with someone else and taking our son around that person.
I know forcing a relationship because of a baby is NOT healthy or genuine. it just kinda still hurts he has no desire to be with me. he wants to be involved but its still like i get the short end of the stick.
I hate the idea of in the future him settling with someone else and taking our son around that person.
I know how you feel.
im only 13wks and my fiancé ended things middle of January originally for his ex.
we just moved out (me and my daughter) 2wks ago and he came over Saturday and we talked - he said he still is confused but is definitely not having her move back here like he originally said he was going to do (she lives in alberta and us in Ontario), but that he still needs time to himself.
he is leaving tomorrow to go visit his daughter (their child) in alberta.
even though we're not together, im still nervous. obviously hes free to do whatever or whoever he wants. it just hurts because he 'moved on' so quickly, yet - we were just intimate Saturday night. fml.
he is going to be gone for 2 weeks, which im unsure if that will be spent the whole time with her/his daughter as I know hes going to visit friends / snowboard as well.
its hard. but I know how much I have to offer, and how much I gave him, and if he's too stupid to realize it. then hopefully the next guy wont be.
but after this 3rd failed engagement, who knows if ill ever find the one. each time I feel is more amazing than the last so we'll see.
im only 13wks and my fiancé ended things middle of January originally for his ex.
we just moved out (me and my daughter) 2wks ago and he came over Saturday and we talked - he said he still is confused but is definitely not having her move back here like he originally said he was going to do (she lives in alberta and us in Ontario), but that he still needs time to himself.
he is leaving tomorrow to go visit his daughter (their child) in alberta.
even though we're not together, im still nervous. obviously hes free to do whatever or whoever he wants. it just hurts because he 'moved on' so quickly, yet - we were just intimate Saturday night. fml.
he is going to be gone for 2 weeks, which im unsure if that will be spent the whole time with her/his daughter as I know hes going to visit friends / snowboard as well.
its hard. but I know how much I have to offer, and how much I gave him, and if he's too stupid to realize it. then hopefully the next guy wont be.
but after this 3rd failed engagement, who knows if ill ever find the one. each time I feel is more amazing than the last so we'll see.
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