am i wrong?????

[haleygriffith]

Okay so my husband has another daughter. ( I've never met her. Her mom won't let it. But she lets him go there and see her. Well he usually text me back every 15-20 min at least when he's there. But tonight he goes a hour  with out responding. He said he list track of time. Am I wrong for being mad upset and really just want to give up?

[specialmom]

I think it is too much to be mad if he doesn't text you every 15 t 20 minutes.  That was your question and that is my honest answer.  that's really clingy.  I also wonder if he is telling you everything about their past.  Because that is awful delusional of a woman to believe she has a history with someone that she calls 'family' that she dated one month.  Ya know?

Perhaps a solution that would make you feel better about his having to see the child over there is to have him text her two things.  First, that there is no 'family' because he has a family with you as a married man.  That you and he are having a child and he loves you.  So, all he wants from her is access to his daughter.  And second, that he IS married, has a stable home and would like to spend time with his child and his wife as all other couples d who have two parent homes.  

Legally, you can go this route.  He can sue for visitation.  It doesn't require a certain size home t have a child. If it is good enough for you, him and the child you are going to have, then it is good enough for her too.  We aren't necessarily talking about lots of custody or overnights---  if she is young, that would be too much for her anyway.  But maybe one night a week or all day on Saturday, etc.  Then you can get to know her.  It's really a father's job to bond with and spend time with their children.  

Anyway, I'd have him write out a text similar to what I wrote above, let you see it and make sure it is delivered.  And then worry less because it is clearly stated.  Then it is about you trusting your man.  Which hopefully you do.  good luck

[remar]

If your husband is paying child support then I would think he has every right to have his daughter at your home. Or, be able to take her to the park, things like that.
Your home may be small but I'm sure you could probably find room for her to play and set up a bed for her on the sofa when she spends the night. There are ways to work around things.
You are this little girls step mother so it would be a good idea if the two of you meet and then get to spend time together.
His ex should be very happy that your husband is such a good father and also pays child support. I know several women who are raising their children on their own because the fathers will take no responsibility.
This sounds like a control issue with the ex and this is so sad because it's  hurting the little girl.

[haleygriffith]

Exactly! And I'd NEVER make him choose. I just get so sick of all this and there's nothing I can changer. And honestly me and him was together a year before we found out he had a kid. She pops up one day out of the blue with a DNA test . To get child support. They also were only together less than a month . But for some reason he will show me text saying that she wants her family and that she wishes he'd leave me and go try to make things work . All kinds of crazy stuff. At first I was fine that I didn't get to meet her because I understood part of her point but that was the first couple months. And when we got married is when it really made me mad that she wouldn't let us meet and still won't and I really don't want my babies to grow up and not meet there sister:( Idk I'm just at a loss. It makes me so upset seeing him go over there. If she never said the things she has or if she let him take his daughter then I wouldn't have as big of a problem with it

[Elixy128]

girl this is the downside of dating men with kids. Not always. This is only a problem when the ex baby mama is still in love with their baby daddy. I hate those females that cant understand that those men dont want them and use their children as an ultimatum. Its so sad and desperate. my sons father has another chils hes told me from the beginning i dated him fir two and half years unfortunately it didn't work out. But during the time we dated hus baby mama was so ****** desperate always calling him trying to get back with him when we started dating she unfriended his whole family from fb. She threatened to talk **** to me had her friends i didn't even know spy on me like yo ur grown u can talk to me. She would tell him y doesn't ur gf just have ur kid. Which atthe time was real mest up because i was told by doctors that was not going to be able to have kids this ***** found out through her friends and was ****** stupid and hateful. All because he didn't want ger *** like honestly he got her pregnant after three months and left her right away but wanted to only be in his childs life. Which he was i never asked to meet his chid nor did i want too i.love kids dont get me wrong but she was just drama I told him u deal with her dont get me involved. So there would be times where he showed ne messages where she woukd tell him live with me ill support u etc I'm like thats so ****** sad. You do noe that hes with me and he supports me and we are happy. She was crazy he couldn't do nothing without her thinking more she even put picks of him with his son on fb when he always cut her face off.the picks. Then when we broke up for other reasons i tell her i find out im pregnant with our child we tried to make it work but it wasn't going too so i messaged her the only time i ever did and told her i want our children to meet. She never replies cusses him out and blocks him from fb im like you ****** psycho. So I say screw it i tried. I would never do that to my sons father if he moves on in so open to meet her and let my son meet her if and only if shes not a drug addict or bad or mean but if shes cool awesome. I loved him but things sometimes dont work out and its ok and i wish him the best but some females aren't like that they get to hurt and use their kids obvi he doesn't want u y force him you seem fine and not crazy you should be able to be in his kids life your NOT the gf anymore your his child's mother the one he loves and is with

[specialmom]

In my opinion, yes.  You are being unreasonable.  I can't imagine someone expecting me to text every 15 to 20 minutes.  :))  He's spending time with his daughter hon.  It's a bit over top to keep that tight of a leash on him.  He could grow to resent that.  You either trust him or you don't.  And if you do, loosen up a bit and let him have a couple of hours without texting with you.  

I know it is hard when there is another mom (his ex) involved.  But he's not with her anymore.  He's with you.  So, trust him that he is just spending time with his child.  And it should not be frequently interrupted.  His kiddo deserves that.  :>)  good luck hon

[haleygriffith]

We can't go get rights till we get a bigger place. Not enough rooms here. He pays child support. Does everything his baby momma ask. I've tried talking to her and being civil to try to figure things out but she won't let it. And I trust him it's just notlike him to usually do this. I'm just so emotional and with certain people keep telling me things are going on with them two it's really getting to me.

[bassnqueen24]

He is there to see his daughter. Marriage is all about trust. He needs to get a better custody agreement to where she can come to your house. His x is being juvenile.