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Low sex-drive during pregnancy
I've been reading a lot of pregnancy books and it seems that most women have heightened sexual experiences and higher sex-drive while pregnant. I am 19 weeks now and I still feel like I rarely want to have sex (just not in the mood). Before I was pregnant I felt like I had a good sex drive, I thought the low drive was just due to the morning sickness I had during my first trimester, but I'm no longer sick but still just don't have that urge like I used to. Has anyone else felt like this while pregnant or am I the only one? Any advice?
I'm sooo grateful for these posts. I was just reading about how women carrying boys have an increased libido and better orgasms and feeling really bad because it has been the exact opposite for me. The hubby and I used to go no longer than 2 or 3 days without sex...ever since my miserable first trimester, I've had very little desire and we're lucky if we do it 1X every 10 days or so (seems to be less often as time goes by--I'm 35 weeks now).
I used to have multiple o's, but that ended with the pregnancy. Everything was VERY uncomfortable until the 3rd trimester--it's a little bit better now, but no where near how good it used to be. This, combined with my ambivalence, has been a death blow to our sex life!
I must say, interestingly enough, our emotional intimacy has grown and I feel closer and more in love with my wonderful hubby than ever before. Also, my husband has been super understanding since the beginning, and as a result his libido has decreased as well...he used to want it practically everyday, now he seems content with a weekly b-j. Must be suffering from sympathy lack of libido!!!
To suffering husband--I feel sorry for your wife. My husband doesn't really enjoy sex that much if I'm not enjoying it. He gets his rocks off by rocking my world. Knowing that that's just not in the cards now, he's patient and loving, and as a result gets b-j's when requested (which is not very often). Demanding sympathy sex from your wife is sad...just service yourself and use this time to cultivate emotional intimacy! She is having your child, which is physically, mentally, and emotionally draining--the least you can do is 'sacrifice' by going without for a few months!
I used to have multiple o's, but that ended with the pregnancy. Everything was VERY uncomfortable until the 3rd trimester--it's a little bit better now, but no where near how good it used to be. This, combined with my ambivalence, has been a death blow to our sex life!
I must say, interestingly enough, our emotional intimacy has grown and I feel closer and more in love with my wonderful hubby than ever before. Also, my husband has been super understanding since the beginning, and as a result his libido has decreased as well...he used to want it practically everyday, now he seems content with a weekly b-j. Must be suffering from sympathy lack of libido!!!
To suffering husband--I feel sorry for your wife. My husband doesn't really enjoy sex that much if I'm not enjoying it. He gets his rocks off by rocking my world. Knowing that that's just not in the cards now, he's patient and loving, and as a result gets b-j's when requested (which is not very often). Demanding sympathy sex from your wife is sad...just service yourself and use this time to cultivate emotional intimacy! She is having your child, which is physically, mentally, and emotionally draining--the least you can do is 'sacrifice' by going without for a few months!
Guess what SH...a little compassion and understanding goes a long way!!!
No, it has not been physically "painful" for me to make love to my husband, as you so stated...but guess what!! I have to actively force myself to stop from VOMITING while in the act!! How's that for you!
Yes, it is like torture!
Fortunately, my husband isn't a cold-hearted creep, and the "strength of our marriage" is not defined by our physical needs alone! In fact...his gentle, kind, and caring understanding has been the biggest turn-on I could possibly have at this moment. And has given me greater "oomph" to go the extra mile for him! Even if it means more blow jobs or hand jobs (hand jobs being a little easier at the current moment) when he least expects it, if sex has been more difficult for me.
I have sympathy for your plight, but have a little compassion yourself, and stop being a jerk. The woman is suffering too, you know.
:)
No, it has not been physically "painful" for me to make love to my husband, as you so stated...but guess what!! I have to actively force myself to stop from VOMITING while in the act!! How's that for you!
Yes, it is like torture!
Fortunately, my husband isn't a cold-hearted creep, and the "strength of our marriage" is not defined by our physical needs alone! In fact...his gentle, kind, and caring understanding has been the biggest turn-on I could possibly have at this moment. And has given me greater "oomph" to go the extra mile for him! Even if it means more blow jobs or hand jobs (hand jobs being a little easier at the current moment) when he least expects it, if sex has been more difficult for me.
I have sympathy for your plight, but have a little compassion yourself, and stop being a jerk. The woman is suffering too, you know.
:)
I'm 8 weeks and found that I don't like the idea of having sex at all, but then when I 'forced' myself to come onto my boyfriend I found it more of a turn on than him trying to come onto me! Once it all gets going it's enjoyable and nice to be close in that way! And of course keeps him happy. Lube definitely helps lol :)
There should be a commitment to a strong and healthy marriage on both sides. Yes, maybe us pregnant women could seek to care for the needs of our husbands more so, but, there should be a desire for the husband just as much to seek to care for the needs of his beloved wife as well. Having a child isn't easy for anyone, it took both people to create a wonderful blessing of a baby, so both need to care for each other working as a team during the pregnancy and after as well!
Both sides can learn to sacrifice for the other just a little more!
Both sides can learn to sacrifice for the other just a little more!
How about a darn solution?
All I hear is you preg women saying how you lost your sex drive.... I want to hear some answers....
Sex drive or no sex drive, women don't be foolish, unless its physically painful for you to have sex, if you want your marriage to stay strong, you need to show your husbands love and give them what they need, emotionally and physically.
Suffering Husband
All I hear is you preg women saying how you lost your sex drive.... I want to hear some answers....
Sex drive or no sex drive, women don't be foolish, unless its physically painful for you to have sex, if you want your marriage to stay strong, you need to show your husbands love and give them what they need, emotionally and physically.
Suffering Husband
I know what you ladies are saying I feel like I don't have a sexual drive like I used to. But at the same time I do want "it" and I think it is just because I want the attention. Attention may not be the right word affection might be a better word. I have tried everything to get things going just to get myself in the mood when we have the time and sometimes nothing will work.
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