please don't judge.

[Dannni10]

I am 9 weeks pregnant. My boyfriend and I were having problems and we're on the verge of splitting up. We'll I ended up hooking up with someone multiple times.  The baby is most likely his and not my boyfriends. My boyfriend and I Andre working things out now and he knows everything. I told the other guy I am pregnant and he said it's my decision if the baby is his if I want him involved.... of course I would want him involved in his babies life... but my boyfriend is telling the I should tell him no I don't want him involved... I don't really know what to do at this point. I feel like my boyfriend is forcing me into a corner.  He won't even let me talk to the other guy to decide what we wanna do if it is his....

Sorry so long. Kinda venting

[Dannni10]

Thanks ladies. I have talked to my boyfriend and he said he will be there no matter what if it's not his. I'm going to wait until birth to test but I know the other guy wants to be involved if it's his.  I just wish I wasn't such an idiot. It was a stupid mistake and now there is all this stress on me and my baby :(

[mommarosas]

I agreed with others here. It's your decision. If you do test though make it clear whoever dad if that they need to see baby more than once every three months. It's too confusing for kids. You have better judgement than us. Guy said he didn't care either way but he probably does. Guys don't share like we do. Your bf sounds very protective and while I understand it at end he'll only end up pushing you away as we are still rebellious lol. Try not to stress though. Wait till you get test because you can't make decision until then really anyway. If you want things to work with bf wait till baby born and do test. Go from there. He has trust issues and even if you only talk about baby with other guy he's gonna be jealous. Hope best for you! You be a great mommy!

[Mickey_baybeegirlbel]

It's your decision, not your boyfriends. If you're not 100% sure who the BD, then nobody should be determining who's in the baby's life until you know for sure. It makes a mess, both men may get close to baby or the thought of being a father and I'm sure you don't want to hurt anyone. But it's your life, your decision who you choose to have there. If you want both apart of the pregnancy and they agree, then do that. But your boyfriend shouldn't prevent you from communicating with someone who you believe is the father of YOUR baby.

[Courtney_Welch]

The only man that will be your child's father is who you chose whether you choose eaither guy is up to you or if u find someone better... It's hard when you put yourself in a situation like that but you should see what's best for your child and yourself. Your boyfriend is being protective and seems like he dosent mind being this child's daddy even if its not his. But the guy that you think is the father pretty much is saying he dosent care eaither way (by what how your post reads) and shows that exactly that...that he dosent care eaither way. Your child does not have to call eaither of these men daddy. The daddy will be the man that steps up to the plate and loves you and respects you as the mommy and helps you create a loving safe family. Don't rush into this so deep when you are not set on eaither man.

[dianaexoh]

It sounds like your boyfriend is kind of controlling. Don't you feel like your privacy is violated by all of your texts going to his phone?
The best way to know is a paternity test, but whomever the father is has the right to be involved. Can you tell at all from the dating i.e. your due date and LMP? I know it can be tricky if you had relations with both of them in a closeish amount of time, but maybe it would help give a better idea?

[sgulia1987]

I would do the test then if it's the other guys I would take a hard look at the fact that he seems so willing to not be involved if that's what you want. I would have concerns about him slowly drifting away and the issues for baby that can come up if he does. You really just need to decide if this guy is going to be an asset to your child's life or not and decide what's best for baby.

[Redstorm_2]

* collect not complete

[Redstorm_2]

Your boyfriend shouldn't keep you from talking to him it's truly is a possibility the other guy is the father he has to trust you and move on or let you go you can do a paternity test while Pregnant it's  cost a lot of money  vs waiting to baby is born   But if you could afford it and want answers sooner think about it but my be medically not advice  since they will to complete a sample from your amniotic sac and can be invasive

[Dannni10]

My boyfriend wants to do a paternity test once the baby is born... that's a ways away... may 22 is my due date. I just want to know now because I want to figure it all out with the other guy if hes the dad so I know what he wants. I would never say no you can't see your child. I have been so sick over the situation not to mention morning sickness.... and my boyfriend won't even let me try to figure things out on my own. He gets all my texts from my phone sent to him. I feel like I have no privacy to figure anything out.  Plus he said if I even tried to talk (purly baby related) to the other guy again he would leave me.

[Buzzbeemommy]

I agree^ a paternity test is the best way to determine how to  handle this. Then you know for sure there's even a decision to be made. I'm surprised people take time to comment on things when they have nothing nice to say, wouldn't it be easier to just give thr positive part of your statement or even skip it altogether.  I hope it all works out for you and all involved

[3_10_15_first_time_mommy]

I honestly say take a paternity test to figure out who definatly is the father. If its the other guy he should have his rights to his child. What if you and your boyfriend dont end up working out? Its ultimatly up to you but if i was in your position i would try to keep it as fair as possible. Just because the other guy is the father doesnt mean your boyfriend cant be in the picture. I understand there is tension but everyone will need to suck it up and do whats best for the baby. Ik its a tough situation to be in, Goodluck <3

[fefe1900]

She clearly stated she didn't want to be judged...anyways at the end of the day it's really ur decision to make not your boyfriend's, the good thing is that he knows it's a possibility of it being a next guy's kid. Take your time and evaluate what would be better for you and the baby eventually can only offer advice but u have to make the decision for your life at the  end of the day.