Mother in law problems. Ugh help

[Tasharitter]

My mother in law is bugging me. First was she was picking out names for my baby. Than she started buying stuff for the baby for her house ( basically stuff that the baby needs all the time). Third she wants the baby to stay at her house all the time when I am at work. Which bugs me because I already picked a great day care. Now it's about the baby shower and formula ( I don't want formula at all). She also wants me to go on wic so that I can buy food and forumla for her house and not mine.  The baby shower she wants to plain it all but have me pay for it all. She made me change the date three different times. The baby isn't even here and I feel like she's already taking over everything. Help on what to do???

[delizzzo delizzzzzo]

Make sure you bring up haircuts because some MIL think they can just do whatever they want to your kid like my sister was letting her daughters hair grow long next thing she knows goes to pick her up from grandma's house she has short hair with bangs still cute you know but that wasnt her place to get the lil girl a haitcut without asking the parents

[damiensmama]

My own mom was this same way about both my kids. It's good that they're excited about having grand babies rather than the type who aren't around at all but all u can do is make it clear to her that it's your child and u appreciate her wanting to be involved but let her know that if you need help, you'll ask. If not, she needs to keep her distance

[Van818]

I think a polite conversation with her is essential otherwise things will just get worse. Shame your partner is not helping at all here...he wants an easy life!

She is clearly very excited about her grand child and wants very much to be involved. She has made assumptions without knowing or asking what you want. You need to let her know that you're delighted she wants to help so much and that you will let her know what help you need; that there are decisions that you and your partner need to make/have made around the baby and its upbringing. Try asking her to do specific things:  "I would really like it if you could help with X" type thing. Then she will feel involved and useful. Make sure it's something you don't mind too much about and can give her control of as it sounds like she'd like that!!!

It's a very hard situation to be in and she'll probably be put out for a bit but will get over it. You're the mother.. These are your decisions. She brought up her children the way she wanted and needs to allow you do the same. She needs to understand the grandmother role is hers and a very special one but very different from being the mother.

[Tasharitter]

Everytime I say anything my husband. He says that I need to work it out with her

[Newmomma_2015]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this! If you plan on strictly breastfeeding (no formula at all) you have to make that clear to her and that she will not give the baby formula. You can pump and give that to whoever is watching the baby. Is your husband saying anything to her?