am i being too overproctective?

[bonnie_84]

So my mil has been getting on my nerves since we told her we were expecting and even more now since its a boy but yesterday she told me she had another dream she keeps having dreams about her and my son but yesterday she told me she had a dream she was breastfeeding my son I felt pissed and disgusted honestly I was like no that will never happen and I feel like I can't trust ever leaving my son with her am I exaggerating a bit? She thinks she will probly babysit but honestly I don't see myself leaving my son with her plus she has 4 cats in her home its a small apartment and they're inside cats theres always cat hair everywhere!

[specialmom]

Yeah, I think you are overreacting.  She just told you a wacky dream she had.  It's not that big of a deal.  Yes, it's a little creepy, I'll give you that.  but I wouldn't think that much about it.  She's reliving when she was pregnant and excited and it was in her subconscious and she had a wacky dream.

Actually, pets around children is a good thing.  It helps them to not develop allergies when they are older.  So, unless there is some kind of problem with your child, I wouldn't worry about indoor cats and their hair around the baby.  We have always had a dog with our kids.  In truth, kids really enjoy that when they get a little older.  It's a nice thing.  

so, I'd try not to make issues here.  And be happy that you have a mother in law that is excited about your baby!  good luck

[mychellefemme]

It's not weird for baby to drink donated milk. It is weird for baby to have someone else boobs in their mouth. I don't know. Just seems strang to me. A Mom bond gets stronger when baby is breastfed. It's just different with a Mom. I don't want no one else baby sucking my breast. My baby was bottle fed when I couldn't produce enough. I didn't ask my cousin to breastfeed my baby. I would have took expressed milk from her though.

[irishangel4]

That dream is a little weird. I'm not gonna let my baby stay at my parents alone I will let the baby be there if I'm there for a few reasons but the major one is my dad is a chain smoker and doesn't give a **** he was smoking a cigarette while holding my one nephew when I was visiting. I said something to him and he said its because my brother smokes around the baby so he doesn't think it matters if he does. But I don't smoke so I wonder if he will smoke around my baby. I love my dad and want him to see my baby but I don't think I would leave my child with him. He was even smoking in the car one day when we went to the store together I was like dad I'm pregnant and have asthma I asked him to put the cigarette out and he didn't he only rolled the window down.if it was my car I would've kicked him out but it was his car. He's an a$$.

[HEllwanger]

I thought the sole purpose of breastfeeding was to provide nourishment to the baby. I agree that it is strange she told you,  but I also agree that she is excited and reminiscent of becoming a mother herself.

[nellila]

I agree that donated milk in a bottle in one thing. But the sole purpose of breastfeeding from the nipple is to establish skin to skin contact to strengthen the mother/child bond.

[jen0221]

My mil has a hard time understanding boundaries. I don't like people touching my belly and especially without them asking first. I saw her for the first time after finding out we were having a girl last week and she came right up and just started rubbing my belly. She also did the same thing with my other 2 babies and I had to tell her I didn't like being touched and if the baby was kicking, I'd let her know. Otherwise it was just her touching my overgrown belly! I have a feeling I might have to re-remind her. I had home births with both of my boys. With my first we were planning on having him in his nursery and my mil was trying to convince me to let her and the family wait in the front room. Kind of like a waiting room, is what she said. I was like umm... No. There will be messes to clean up and I highly doubt I'm going to be ready for company right after giving birth. We'll call and let you know when we're ready for visitors. And since I wasn't even planning on having any of my own family there, I sure as heck wasn't going to let her be there!!! Just a couple of my irritating moments where she has proven herself to be overbearing.

[keaanddan03]

Accepting donated breast milk and feeding it to your baby via bottle because you cannot produce milk is one thing. Having your mother in law dream and tell you about breastfeeding your unborn child is creepy. She is grandma not the soon to be mom. There should be boundrys!

[jjolfert]

Though I might be creeped out a bit if this happened to me, but the comments about breastfeeding in general are bugging me. Breastfeeding is not gross or sexual in any way and it is not incestual for you husbands sister to have breastfed him. Breastmilk is best for baby and you do what you have to do. I donated pumped milk to someone I know because she had trouble the first few weeks. I don't think that is weird at all. Baby's don't know. Neither can they remember. I'm not saying she should breastfeed your baby but I agree with @susamor that she is likely just remembering how it was for her and feeling nostalgic.

[keaanddan03]

This sounds like a movie made for Lifetime!!!! Please run, run very fast!!! I'm kidding. But seriously that is creepy.... maybe just slowly start distancing yourself from her. Im afraid it could only get worse...

[Mummy2bex]

Oh my good lord that is weird!! I know what you mean about mil's! Mine is totally weird too and keeps saying how she's going to have my son all the time ect and she's coming to the birth, no she's not, my partner and my mother is! And nor is she having my son alone as my partners brother has a 3 year old girl and my mil is so lazy and I often find the little girl secretly asking me to get her food because my mil is so god dam lazy and never listens to the poor child because she's ALWAYS drinking booze and has like 2 bottles a night and gets hammered! I think those dreams your mil is having is totally weird and the fact that she told you is even more sickening, that's a disgusting dream to have and she should know this and shouldn't be telling you stuff like that, she should keep her disturbing thoughts to herself, she must have something wrong with her to not know that she shouldn't tell you that! If she carries on with her weird ways and says something like that just say 'Ew that's disgusting' and if she questions why just say 'well I'd rather not imagine my son feeding from your breasts, he's my son and that's gross' Oh god no, hope he stops all this weird stuff hun xx

[kHz721]

Woah definitely don't let her alone with your baby. Read what you are saying...... That **** is actually incest and if it wasn't (which in some cases its not) then you wouldn't be here posting these questions.
OK?

Trust tour maternal instincts and ONLY have visits when your there. / in public.
Xx may god be with you

[nellila]

Sounds like your MIL needs counseling for apparent unresolved issues she has from her own motherhood experiences. It's your baby and your right to speak up. The whole situation with his family is just weird and borderline incestuous. I know I would never be cool with any other woman showing their breasts or trying to breastfeed my child.

[susamor]

Hmmm did it impact your husband in anyway? Like does he see his half sister as motherly? Just curious because i have heard of a lot of women not having an issue asking someone else to nurse their babies. I personally am very reserved about ever feeding my baby someone else's milk but i don't think its wrong either.

[bonnie_84]

My husband is her only son she has two daughters but one is married and lives in Florida with her kids (5) and her youngest 25yrs old still lives with her her husband died a year ago so its just them two and we only live 20 mins away. The thing is when she had her son (my husband) she didn't produce enough milk and she had her daughter breastfeed him at the time her oldest daughter had her first son too, when I found out I thought that was sooooo weird I mean its my husbands half sister but still its weird

[happiMom87]

Hmmm that's odd :/
Does she have more children other than your hubby? Any other grandchildren?

[susamor]

You know, my mil never had a dream like that but when she held my baby, she seemed to be reliving her motherhood experience with my husband when he was a newborn. At one point i wondered if she would ever be capable of going that far (breastfeeding). I think thats what's going on with your mil. She is overjoyed and subconsciously is reliving her days with her son through your baby. I think that dream is more symbolic than telling that she would do that. If you can't trust her however then monitored visits are in order. I have found needles in the couch pillows or just lying around on tables or the floor at my mil house and when i see that i tell myself, nope! My kids would not be in a safe environment left here alone. So i go over with my husband and baby and check for hazards. You could probably ask her to vacuum or clean cat hairs off area where baby will be at and definitely let her know you don't feel comfortable with your baby being near the cats. I don't know why but it is a huge deal for in laws and blood relatives to have the baby actually visit at their home. Ask her to put them away just until your baby is a little older. But if thats too much try to keep the visits at your place or out at a public place :) good luck!

[mychellefemme]

Heck no. Nobody's boob would be in my babies mouth. It was a beautiful dream??? It was a weird dream. Don't mean to sound so harsh to your mil but that would bug me out. And cat litter could be dangerous to babies. They track it around on their feet. Even though cats are usually clean pets, you have to clean behind them also.

[AprilBabe26]

Do we have the same Mil?? I'm standing my ground, there is no way in hell she will ever be left alone with my child, there are seriously too many reasons to list but to put it simply she's mentally unstable, not exaggerating. Don't know that yours is as bad but if you're uncomfortable, there's a problem. Never do anything you're uncomfortable with when it comes to your kids.

[vanessaC831]

Um. That's weird. No. That's your baby not hers. I can see where u are coming from. My bfs mom calls my baby,  "her baby" , " how's my baby doing?!" Doesn't even ask how I am doing... Lol it bugs me but if I was in ur situation I think it would make me so uncomfortable that I would tell her to stop talking and keep her dreams to herself.

[bonnie_84]

That's exactly how I feel like she wants my son to be hers

[mommyof2Nahalf]

It almost sounds like she wants your son to be hers. That's really strange to me.

[mommyof2Nahalf]

It almost sounds like she wants your son to be hers. That's really strange to me.

[lurooney]

Wow very strange,i cant say i blame you not wanting to leave your baby with her,ok fair enough it was only a dream she had about breastfeeding your baby but still she should have kept that to herself i think,id feel totally freaked my mil telling me that and id always be wondering "what if" leaving your baby with her even though it may not happen but still

[BabyWidmer]

I wouldn't let my kids go over there