boyfriend problems

[Kgehr1]

My boyfriend just found out he has another child. They are making him pay child support. He makes $500 a week and they take $250 from him. With bills he doesnt have enough to help me prepare for our child or even help raise it. Should I have him take her to court to get it lowered, or should I just leave and give him visitations. On top of that the court is trying to make him pay me support after I said I dont want it.

[specialmom]

Once a DNA test is done, it honestly is his duty to pay child support if it is his kid, is it not?  That's hard I know but think if it were you and some guy got you pregnant.  If he REALLY wanted to do the right thing, he'd also form a relationship with the child so he can be a father.  

I'm old fashioned like this.  I believe if you make a child, you are responsible for it.  

And yes, the state usually follows guidelines.  If the child is of a certain age, they will collect back child support to make that up for the years he didn't pay.  

I guess he should give up his rights but in general, it is all very sad for this poor child of his.  Even if the woman who had the baby was sneaky and didn't tell him and all of that, it's still sad to be a fatherless child.  

good luck

[Kgehr1]

It shouldnt go tothe kid born first. Especially because the child doesnt need it. I looked at the state guidelines and it says low oncome should be 15% of the pay check and then 25% for two children. I already talked to child support because my insurance makes me.  I told them that I dont want it if they wont split it evenly. They said they will see what they can do. So if they should only be taking 15% of his paycheck why are they taking 50% of it. But then because he was in jail they charge him back support. so is it possible that he only pays so much because of back support and then they will lower it once he catches up?

[Chima7]

Just so you know,when a guy has multiple kids with more than one woman, the higher dollar amount for child support goes to the kids born first, while any kids that came later will always get less than those first kids. When you factor in the guy's salary, if he is making really lousy money, don't expect to be getting much in the way of support, if anything.

For both of these reasons, that's why, at least as far as I'm concerned, I don't get involved with guys who have kids already and I also don't get involved with guys who make less money than me. My life has been a lot more free of drama by following these basic guidelines. It has definitely made a huge and noticeable difference.

[RockRose]

Okay.  So,  this whole thing was about getting him to sign over rights to the child,  and the grandparents will raise the child without his help?

I think he should absolutely go for it.

He can't afford to give half his income to this child,  who he didn't even know existed so it's not like he was bonded.  Sounds like the baby has two completely competent people- the grand parents to raise it - and he should back out and let the child live an uncomplicated life.

Otherwise,  his new baby on the way will suffer.

[Meshe1234]

I think you should do it only reason why is because there will have to split it between both children and if u think about it y'all are together so he will still have something and the money that though child support for ur baby it more money.... so look at it like this he's not losing that much cause y'all together

[Destynee2015]

Agreed^^

[Tricia0818]

If the mother doesn't have custody than child support needs to be paid from her as well. He needs to take this to court asap

[Destynee2015]

Once they filed for child support, they were required to fill out an income worksheet. If he can dispute their income than he may have a better chance. He really needs an attorney though.

[Kgehr1]

The mother doesnt have custody of the child. The grandparents do, and they wont even talk to him. They told the courts they were broke but they just bought an 80,000$ car without taking out a loan.

[Kgehr1]

The worst part is she raped him. I know males cant be raped but he was passed out drunk. The court doesnt believe him. His child also lives with the mothers parents who are loaded with money. I told him that if he wants to be fair and not make it seem like he is picking favorites to put the same amount aside for our child and he said he cant afford it. I told him to talk to the courts and he freaked out at me and told me I was a horrible person. Then he was sent papers to sign his tights away to her and I told him to think about it because our child needs the money where as his other one doesnt because the familys rich. He yelled at me for that also. I mean the gaurdian even offered to let him see her even if he signs his rights away

[dasart13]

I'd go to court and see about it getting lowered. That may have been determined based off of him having the one child. They'd have to factor in him having a second child I'd believe.

And I wouldn't break up with him just bc he has to pay child support. Unless he coceived this child during an affair on you. But he can't help if he had a child he never knew about until now all of a sudden.

And lastly, if y'all are still in a relationship, I don't see why or how they can force him to pay you child support. And even so, just take the check and cash it and still put it towards yalls bills.

[babypersephone]

does he for sure know the baby is his? Like did do a blood test? And honestly I doubt the court will Lower it, they usually always side with the baby mama unless she's okay with it being lowered and if you don't want to be with him than leave but if not stay of course. Just do what you feel is best.I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Best of luck.

[Destynee2015]

Ive been through the same problem before. Honestly, if he takes her to court its going to cost A LOT, and in my opinion its not worth it. He will risk getting it raised or may get it lowered. The only way theyll consider lowering is if he has another child he supports but ur still pregnant. Once the baby is born they may lower it $50 making him still pay $200 a month. Its really unfortunate the way it works. If you truly love him and want to stick by his side then where theres a will theres a way. I wish the best to you. Sounds like you two have a lot to sit down and discuss together. Take care.

[Lovingbaby1115]

I swear my boyfriend is in the same situation he is paying child support for three kids which leaves him with little to take care of this one and I think about leaveing him at times because im not trying to struggle with him and the baby goes without because he isn't trying to get a better job and is trying to stay in a house that we both can't afford I just feel like he is being dumb I swear I literally think about this all the time and it isnt gona be fair to my child if hes other kids is getting stuff and this baby is not getting nothing