Breaking the news

[AlyonaR]

hi ladies! So I'm 27y.o, 11.5 weeks pregnant , ftm, married for 2 years, been together for 3. My husband and I been trying to conceive all this time and it finally happened. But about half a year ago we nearly divorced and I went back to live with my parents. They knew what was going on, and now that we are back together and stronger than ever, I forgave him but my parents can't. So when I was going back to my husband my mom with my aunt been telling me how they'd want a grand child but they'd rather it was a white baby(my husband is Arab/Indian looking, so you understand that they were implying that they don't want a grandchild from him). My mom turned out to be very racist and I was shocked to find out, she wasn't telling me how she felt until we had that break. So now I'm pregnant and I don't know how to tell my parents because I know my mom won't be excited much and I don't need that kind of energy in my life.. What should I do..?

[sgulia1987]

Your mother will likely change her mind once she is a grandma and hold her grandchild. If she doesn't it's her loss and there's nothing you can do about it. I agree and say you are going to have to suck it up and just tell her and if you don't want to go to Russia to give birth DON'T. This is your baby your life and your body if the decision you are making a reasonable decision (which being with your husband and father of your baby when you give birth is) and she doesn't like it that’s too bad. Do you honestly think she did whatever her mother wanted at this stage in her own life, probably not, and it's not reasonable for her to expect you too, and you don't need her you will be fine on your own if that is what you had to do. Don't dwell on it be excited for the things you do have.

[AlyonaR]

@imany It's a difficult situation because we live in different countries. My parents are Russian and don't speak English and live in Moscow, and me and my husband live in Kenya and he is Zimbabwean and doesn't speak Russian.. So it's tricky... They don't have a relationship i'd say... They only saw each other on skype a few times ...  Another problem is that I think pregnancy is what couples have to go through together but I know my mom will insist I come to Russia to give birth, and I know it's going to be a difficult conversation because I don't want to separate from my husband for months... I'm all emotional and stressed about it

[Imany]

dear I know you need your mum in this stage as it's been hard time, ask you husband to do something to your parents like giving them gifts or make special dinner or even small party. They may accept him again as son in law if so  you can tell them that you'll be a beautiful grandparents. On the other hand I have to tell you that they'll love whatever he/she is because ihe/she will be  their grandchild. Best of luck to you.

[melaniee123]

I think you should tell your parents,  if your mother knew you married him I'm sure she knew one day it was gonna happen eventually... as long as you and your husband are strong and supporting one another than she will be okay it's her grandbaby and even if she's upset at first she'll come around

[Confused_NewMommy]

I hate to say it like this but grow a pair and woman up. Are you going to be ashamed of your baby? Someone that you guys created? If not then it does not matter what ANYONE has to say. You created this innocent life and you alone stand between your baby and this cruel world.

[Myeverything843]

Pray for strength. It will be your moms lost to not support you during this time