family driving me nutz

[RnE1stbaby]

So my baby is 12 days old and so far I've had zero days by myself with my son and I'm starting to feel like I don't matter.. Every time my baby crys my husbands mom is right there taking over burping him and whatever els... At this point I feel like I'm a human bottle.. I want to bond with my son but can't cause there's always someone here in my face and my husband won't listen to me about my feelings he just says oh whatever and he gives me crap for wanting him when he Cry's and im like yah I want him cause he's my baby... Idk I'm super pissed off at this point and I can't wait for people to leave tomorrow so I can finally be alone with my baby

[specialmom]

I would  have loved help.  Bonding with baby isn't so hard . . .  in my opinion.  What was hard for me was getting used to 24/7 of taking care of a baby!  :>)  

To the poster---  try to see some of it as help which is their effort to be nice and set boundaries so that you don't feel overrun by others.  You got this . . .  just use your voice to express when YOU want to do something with the babies (maybe the MIL just changes the diapers , ha ha).  good luck  This is a happy time in your life hon.  Enjoy it.  

[ribaby15]

I swear grandparents forget that the first few days and weeks is when you're supposed to bond with your baby.
I had a C-section for my first, and her father wasn't much help. But I'd have done it all over again because I cant stand people 'taking over' with newborns. Drives me nuts. lol

[specialmom]

Ha, you ladies and I are very different.  I had NO help when I had my baby and so longed for a nap alone WITHOUT having to be on call.  I personally would have been happy with a little less 'bonding' time and a bit more help.  :>).  I guess a happy medium is good.

Hon, do you not have a voice to use?  Say to your mother in law "No.  I've got it.  I'll take care of the baby now." when he cries WITH a smile on your face.  

This isn't a competition.  MIL's are trying to help.  Hopefully you live with your partner in your own place and not WITH your mother in law and this is temporary.  If not, I would try to figure out how you and your partner can have your own place because parents need to live as adults on their own rather than as kids in their parents house.  You run into more situations like this then.

But just be pleasant with your MIL while asserting yourself.  It doesn't have to be a fight where you 'set her straight' or make things awkward.  Just get up when the baby cries and if she takes the baby first, say "I'd like to do it" stick out your arms for her to give you the baby and then take over.  

But I'd nap I anyone gives you a chance to do that.  :>)  good luck

[gabbatha]

This happened to me with my first. I was younger and didn't want to cause a "fuss." This is my second and I have all intentions to make my needs heard and respected.

Don't be mean but be stern about what your needs are with your husband and grandma. Grandma might think that she is helping you so it's super important for her to know what your needs are.

[ninjakelly]

Tell them all thanks for the help you appriecate it but your the baby's mom and need to learn to take care of him yourself for when they aren't around and you need your space.

[mw89]

you could go into your room take your baby and lock the door then you will get your alone time. If she gets upset about it tell her you needed your alone time

[RnE1stbaby]

Omg my mother in law just told me to goto bed without my baby... She'll bring him in when she goes to bed... I told her I was fine and that I would stay up with her while she watching the voice and then I'll go to bed when she does