just a quick question about step kids.

[Jr23861]

Nothing to do with pregnancy. .



Ok so maybe it's just me but I feel like it's hard to adjust...
Anyway my boyfriend was married had a son which iv only met 2x maybe that's why it's still weird. .. but anyway his ex wife has a daughter with someone else and she always calla him dad.
Idk i feel like it's weird.. but maybe it's just cause this is a whole new thing....

I'm definitely  not trying to act differently to them..

[Jr23861]

Thanks for the advice/tips.
I will see them both on Sunday for a late Christmas.

[Jr23861]

Iv only met him 2x bec his ex wife won't let him see him.  Iv been with my bf for almost a year.
I mean when I get the chance to see them more I think it will be easier. I don't want to treat them different but I also feel like the ex wife has told them that I'm not a great person due to the fact they won't talk to me when I have seen them.  

[specialmom]

It IS really hard to blend families.  We have all of our emotions and we have to decide which ones are appropriate or not and where we stand with things and blah blah blah.

It's really a sweet thing that she calls him dad and this would indicate your guy is a good man.  She sees him as a father figure in her life because he is to her half brother and your boyfriend has been good enough to provide that for her.  That's a great quality in him.  I wouldn't try to get in the way of that hon.  This is a time in which we let our big hearts grow bigger and think of a child and how she might feel.  He's a father to her and it should stay that way in whatever capacity it has been.  How incredibly hurtful would it be if the boy gets to be with your partner but his sister doesn't?  

Why have you only seen the child 2 times?  Have you been dating very long?  

The rule of thumb when it coms to our partner's kids is to let them be the parent they want to be to them.  Otherwise, we are thwarting something sacred and I would NOT want to deal with the karma that comes with that, you know?  If we have the kind of man that is there for his kids even if they aren't ours, that's a GOOD thing.  And when he even has shown affection and love to a child that isn't his bio child, that really says a lot (and all good) about your man.

I tell you, I'm not a step mom but have three little kids that I adore as if they were my own kids.  They are children of my sister and a dear friend.  I'd give my shirt for these kids.  And now that I have my own, I have enough love to spread around.  Your man will too so try not to worry about his love and affection for these two other children.

good luck

[tasha30214]

Most little kids will copy off what they see an older child doing...
It could get some time to use to but don't stress it now being pregnant we seem to look at things more deeply then we do when we aren't pregnant ...
Good luck mama you will adjust soon