Would I be wrong?

[LilyPatrice]

My brother and sister in law seem to be more interested in my sister's pregnancy than mine. They have never asked  me how is everything going. Yet I've reached out to them more than once about their babies. This is my first pregnancy, my  husband and I are very excited. Their  response when I first told them was somewhat dry, and I didn't know how to take that. Would I be wrong if I don't tell them anything concerning our baby? We find out what we're having in a  few weeks. I just want to share it with  those who I feel have been supportive. It hurts, and I'm trying not to be extra emotional.  They invited us to visit them for Christmas next year. How awkward is that to bring my family, the child that they seem to not show concern for? Haven't responsed yet, still need time.  Feedback is welcomed  :-)

[LilyPatrice]

RockRose,  they have no idea that I feel this way. Kind of been keeping it to myself lately.  Since both my sister and sister in law are  almost due, didn't want to bring extra drama.  Well, you're good because some things that you mentioned happened.  At first, my brother wasn't fond of him, but they worked out there differences. He did bring up the fact that we could've been better off before we had a baby. When I first told them, it took them a day or so to respond. We were just engaged at the time, and I don't know if he  didn't like  that we weren't married first.  I told my brother that I'm happy with my husband, and the fact that I have someone who is willing to  take of his family.  We may not  be where  they are, but we're not doing bad at all.  Hoping things will turn around soon  :-).  I'll  be a nice pregnant woman lol.

[LilyPatrice]

Special mom, I guess my expectations were different. I definitely don't want it  to seem like  I want to get them back for how I feel. We all use to be close, but as we got older things changed somewhat. My husband and I haven't really talked about traveling there.  We're going to see how things are by that time next year. It could be that I'm overly sensitive at this time.  Glad  things worked  out with  you and your sister.  I know that I should work on being nice.  Well,  they  are  little bit more closer to my sister and her husband than they are with us. I don't know if it's because we're younger or we're just not on the same page or at least close to it.  I will work on not taking it so hard.

[RockRose]

Lily,  do you think they have any idea at all that you feel that way?

I don't know what they said that was "dry" when you made your announcement - is there a history where they don't approve of your husband or are you in a situation where having a child right now is not a good idea?

When my niece announced her second pregnancy there was like a collective ugh in the room.  She hadn't really recovered from her first baby,  didn't have any money,  her husband was underemployed, etc.  Everyone adores them so much it was like oh no not more for you to handle!  Is it possible that's going on with you?

[specialmom]

Hi there. Well, I wouldn't resort to tactics of 'getting back' or cold shoulders or anything like that as that is not effective in making you feel better in the long run . . .   it just compounds the problem.  

I would go and be your usual stuff and try not to be overly sensitive.  I'm not sure why you think they are 'more interested' in your sister's pregnancy.  You didn't give any details of that.

I can tell you that after having kids . . .   it's exciting but nothing like it is your first pregnancy and people are always happy for another person to be pregnant but it might not be over the top exciting to them.  Ya know?  I'm just not sure what your expectations are.  

Do you have any conflicts with them, any issues?  

But I'd really try to just have some thick skin.  It's not worth you being angry over.

My sister was excited about my pregnancy but then really withdrew after I had my first baby.  Very noticeably.  It felt like maybe she was jealous which is insane as she has three kids of her own.  But it was weird and it hurt my feelings.  I never really did anything about it and just treated her like I always had.  Then poof---  she got over it.  She is nice to my kiddos and to me and my husband.  Had I given her the cold shoulder or withdrawn back, who knows if it would have turned into some kind of rift.  

Just not worth it.  So, be pleasant, tell them a bit about your pregnancy when you visit and talk about the baby lots and lots and lots to your closest circle.  good luck