Aa
overreacting?
Would you be hurt if you kept finding naked pics of girls on your bfs or husband's computer? He doesn't even try to hide it from me anymore. I'm so hurt almost 37 weeks pregnant huge unattractive. What to do? I just act like it doesn't bother me then go into a room and cry.
But again if you came here just to hear what you want to hear and not the obvious then let me tell you.. Youre marriage is great youre husband is the best having naked pictures of his exes and girls he slept with in the past is totally ok and normal he loves you and respects you 100%.. Lucky you... Hey but you forgot to write at the end of your post a little note that says "please lie to me or i will dislike your comment.. Please tell me only what i want to hear.. that i should stay in my marriage pictures dont mean nothing amd my husband's great ""
Well of course its your fault in a way because you put up with it.. men will never change if they have a wife that just takes their crap he'll just continue to disrespect you always because he knows you depend on him..
@ specialmom thank you for truly understanding where I am coming from and why I think it's a absurd to throw away a marriage and a family over some pics. The communication has been our biggest issue I can't approach him he does shut down and pushes me away and won't talk to me and has this extremely guilty and sad look on his face. He has no problem deleting the pics and this happened before and he went through everything and deleted everything without any hesitation the issue is they keep popping up in random folders and files on his computer and he claims that he didn't know about them. I highly doubt my husband is physically cheating as he goes to work and straight home same time every single day and then we go places together he doesn't go out anywhere without me no bars or clubs. I think I will try to get him to go to marriage counseling with me. Thank you for your response I truly appreciate it! :)
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. You've gotten a bit of good advice and some really bad advice here. :>) Marriage is about vows and commitment and naked pictures in a folder does not really constitute a reason to pack up and leave, end a family and leave a child to be raised by a single mother. Kids DO want parents that are together and it has to be a super dee duper big reason to bring that to an end.
There are men that like naked pictures. What can I say? My husband had this playboy that I think is like 15 years old. Only one but he must have liked it. He finally threw it out when our oldest got old enough to explore around the house. I remember finding some magazines of my dad's when I was a kid. This is NOT the end of the world. I've been married almost 15 years even with that beloved playboy my husband had for a long time (or whatever it was. it was some magazine thing). My husband and I are very close and a strong couple and both are very committed to our family.
so, please, don't think you have to leave your husband over this.
NOW, this is important. What DOES concern me is that you seem to have a very hard time communicating with him. He shuts down whenever anything comes up. So, this makes you uncomfortable or almost fearful of approaching him about things and that is not good in a long term relationship.
I would definitely problem solve on this issue. What about going to him and telling him that you are in this for the long haul and your goal is for both of you to be HAPPY. I did this with my husband years ago. We both have a strong conviction that marriage is a true commitment and that it is a forever relationship so you have to do your part to make it work. Telling him that I want HIM to be happy as well as myself is powerful. It was sincere because that is what I want. I'm willing to do my part, he has to be willing to do his part. THIS is what you need to discuss with your husband.
You should ask him how you can improve communication with him. That what you do now kind of shuts him down and you'd rather be closer and be able to talk about 'whatever'. You want him to feel that way too. ASK HIM how communication can improve in his eyes.
Is a marriage therapist something he'd consider? I think this can be really great for a couple. When it is approached as a way to get closer and work on things so you can be happy--- men seem much more interested in it than if it's approached as You've got problems man, you need help. But I think this can be great,
The pics are just pics. Who knows how old they are and maybe it is a simple fact of not deleting them. Men are very visual and honestly, this is often meaningless.
So, I sense you are like me and want a traditional home for your child with a man and a woman as mother and father, husband and wife and you want this relationship to go the duration. Therefore, how you are currently approaching him is not working and you need his help and maybe outside help to work on the style of communication between the two of you.
And don't be insecure hon. He CHOSE you to marry. You're having his child. This is special. So many men don't take that step these days to honor a woman with marriage and THAT is what I don't understand why women put up with that. Those are the relationships that end rather quickly because there was no commitment made publically to one another to even begin with. YOU HAVE THAT.
So, hang in there. Let me know if you need any more ideas for better communication. peace and hugs
There are men that like naked pictures. What can I say? My husband had this playboy that I think is like 15 years old. Only one but he must have liked it. He finally threw it out when our oldest got old enough to explore around the house. I remember finding some magazines of my dad's when I was a kid. This is NOT the end of the world. I've been married almost 15 years even with that beloved playboy my husband had for a long time (or whatever it was. it was some magazine thing). My husband and I are very close and a strong couple and both are very committed to our family.
so, please, don't think you have to leave your husband over this.
NOW, this is important. What DOES concern me is that you seem to have a very hard time communicating with him. He shuts down whenever anything comes up. So, this makes you uncomfortable or almost fearful of approaching him about things and that is not good in a long term relationship.
I would definitely problem solve on this issue. What about going to him and telling him that you are in this for the long haul and your goal is for both of you to be HAPPY. I did this with my husband years ago. We both have a strong conviction that marriage is a true commitment and that it is a forever relationship so you have to do your part to make it work. Telling him that I want HIM to be happy as well as myself is powerful. It was sincere because that is what I want. I'm willing to do my part, he has to be willing to do his part. THIS is what you need to discuss with your husband.
You should ask him how you can improve communication with him. That what you do now kind of shuts him down and you'd rather be closer and be able to talk about 'whatever'. You want him to feel that way too. ASK HIM how communication can improve in his eyes.
Is a marriage therapist something he'd consider? I think this can be really great for a couple. When it is approached as a way to get closer and work on things so you can be happy--- men seem much more interested in it than if it's approached as You've got problems man, you need help. But I think this can be great,
The pics are just pics. Who knows how old they are and maybe it is a simple fact of not deleting them. Men are very visual and honestly, this is often meaningless.
So, I sense you are like me and want a traditional home for your child with a man and a woman as mother and father, husband and wife and you want this relationship to go the duration. Therefore, how you are currently approaching him is not working and you need his help and maybe outside help to work on the style of communication between the two of you.
And don't be insecure hon. He CHOSE you to marry. You're having his child. This is special. So many men don't take that step these days to honor a woman with marriage and THAT is what I don't understand why women put up with that. Those are the relationships that end rather quickly because there was no commitment made publically to one another to even begin with. YOU HAVE THAT.
So, hang in there. Let me know if you need any more ideas for better communication. peace and hugs
I think he still messing around with his ex.. Due to he keeps pictures n locks his computer n specially you are giving him the green light to keep doing it. Am sorry but you allowed for years this is not gonna stop am sure if you delete the pics or you ask to delete he will not do it he will separate from you cuz he knows that you are a weak person that's what you have shown him... If he really loved you he will be watching port instead of looking at pic of his ex's
You need to have some dignity n respect for your unborn baby n your self you can't let him step on your pride but I guess guys go over women cuz we allow them
You need to have some dignity n respect for your unborn baby n your self you can't let him step on your pride but I guess guys go over women cuz we allow them
Its not your fault but the fact that you allowed it to go on for years is what's crazy a pastor will tell you some marriages can't be fixed. Good luck to you
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