ladies am i wrong

[african_mama_bear]

So my child's father's has been the worse thing that ever happened to me lately it's been nothing but fights and what not that was a month or so ago he only paid attention to his game and didn't help with nothing or offer we had a talk and I was so emotional I even cried about how it hurtful that I'm this pregnant and doing things by myself so lately he has been so attentive to me he even went to my daughter's school activities with me he rubs my back and now even going shopping for the baby so it wouldn't be so much on me and he is spending more time with us but I just feel like I'm not appreciating it because he has been hurting me and making me feel so alone for so long idk how to react like he wants to cuddle and I just be pushing him away and I dnt want him to do the shopping or help with my daughter because he made me that way and made me use to it smh I'm trying to appreciate what he is doing especially with the baby around the corner but I'm just scared if I relax and allow him to come back in he will make me feel alone again and I'll have to go thru this again I rather keep my wall up but I don't want to cuz he is trying and keeps trying smh what should I do

[specialmom]

To me, he sounds like he is trying.  And that should be encouraged.  Holding onto past hurt when it is things like he wasn't as attentive as we want . . .   and then when he tries harder when it is brought to his attention, that's really a positive thing in a man.

Don't throw away a good guy who is willing to try for you.  good luck

[sharonda_heather2015]

I understand what you mean. It's hard when they play around than you cry and they wanna get serious.  I say give him another chance. I love two parent homes so try to work it out. Communication is the key to a healthy relationship.  But I trust and believe you know how to handle things when they get out of control.  Lol && you know what I mean . Lol but best of luck honey I hope everything works out. Family is everything (:

[african_mama_bear]

Lol right I was on the pill but I ran out and we'll u know how that ish goes I'm so over being pregnant especially back to back I've been pregnant for two years and yea idk why females do that I ain't make no baby to keep a man so if we not together we both still raising this baby and being involved dnt need child support cause I make my own just be on their life and I'm good

[Patriciaaa02]

Lol yea my doctor asked me if I wanted birth control after my baby I was like what YESSS!! What u mean do I want birth control lol and it's my first baby but I'm tired of being pregnant I can't do this ish no more lol and that's good that u just want him in their life despite ya problems bc some girls don't allow the baby daddy around just bc the relationship didn't work out at the end the babies are the ones who suffer

[african_mama_bear]

Haha at don't got time for a third kid yes girl I know that's right I sure don't smh that's why imma be on this birth control for the next ten years lol and thank you smh it's hard being a single mother when your not even single but as mother's we gotta do what we gotta do for our kids u wouldn't believe how strong and independent we are until it's thrown at us Lord knows if u would've asked me a year ago can I do this I would've said heck no

[african_mama_bear]

Yea you are right most people would give up I've seen it trust my father did so I'm happy he isn't like him I just want him to be there for his kids that's all that matters to me seeing him bond with our daughter melts my heart seeing her hug him and play with him is the best thing ever I've never seen that with my father and even if we dnt work I dnt want him to push our kids away that was my main issue that he wasn't involved in this pregnancy or my daughter's school and always played the game smh so I'm hoping that we continue to be a happy family and that our kids come first no matter what

[jackieandbraulio]

Yeah just talk to him and allow him to take this chance. My boyfriend would do that but it'd only last a couple days eventually he goes back to how he always is -___- so its nice while it lasts. Definitely let him and definitely enjoy it cause it could be gone or he could be one of this guys who stays changing for you. Good luck!

[Patriciaaa02]

Yea i understand where you're coming from just let him know he HAS TOOO prove u wrong and u don't got time for a third child either he becomes the man he has to be or he has to go you've been doing it without him and if he doesn't change which I hope he will I know u will be a great mother and father to your babies you sound like a great person

[ericaranae]

I think that is a good idea the best thing is to have open communication it does sound likes hes trying so i hope the best for you.. This is my 2nd with my boyfriend and we have some problems but always stayed together so i could only imagine him being gone for awhile then coming back and trying to make it work id be just like u probably worse lol you atleast sound like you are really trying with him since hes now trying with you... And i could see if he was trying to make you stop complaining but thats alota things to do to keep you complaining it would be easier to give up so the fact hes trying and doing cute little things and stuff sounds like hes sincere i hope it works :)

[african_mama_bear]

Yea smh it is hard I'm the type of person once I'm hurt by someone that's it but I can't do that cause we live together and we have two kids together smh he even asked me am I ok calls and checks up on me at work but I feel like he is doing it to shut me up from complaining but I love that idea I will just tell him that I see and appreciate him trying but I still have guards up and he is just gonna have to work with me but I will allow him to keep helping me with our daughter and the back rubs lol also there was a day I couldn't sleep he stayed up with me until I was able to go to sleep that was sweet but I'm no fool so I'll cut my wall down just a bit cause I do need the help especially with these contractions everyday but I'm still watching him lol

[ericaranae]

I dont think your wrong... Once youve been hurt you will always ve scared to feel that pain again its only natural to keep sone anger towards him for the pain he has caused... But if you guys had a talk and he seems like he is trying if you feel he is sincere this time i would say you got 2 choices and either you forgive him for the pain in the past and have a new beginning or you need to tell him how you are keeping him at a distance until you feel hes really proved himself... Thats a hard one but if you do forgive him you really got to forgive him let all the pain and anger go... But you may be safer to just tell him like you really see he is trying to do better abd ask him to give you some time to come around to him again and take it slow

[Patriciaaa02]

Don't push him away let this be his last chance and make sure he knows that