Daddy not being as expected

[GorJess24]

Hi, I'm having a little girl due 29th December, my 2nd child my daughter will be 4 in December. My other half will be a first time dad as my daughter is from a previous relationship (he's amazing with her though) So although he is used to being daddy to my daughter this is his 1st child and I don't really feel like he's very involved, I dunno if I'm being silly but this baby was planned and he says he's over the moon but he doesn't seem very interested, he won't watch baby related tv shows with me, he won't talk to my belly, he never seems that interested when she kicks or has hiccups etc and most annoyingly he still hasn't quit smoking which he said he wanted to do for her, he keeps saying he's quit and then I catch him out and he still tries to lie. Am I being silly? Should I give him the benefit of the doubt, I'm just terrified he isn't going to bond with her and thats so important to me as that never happened with my 1st child and her father. Any advice or comments would help, thanks.

[th986]

I think it's just more difficult for them to connect in these early stages. You should encourage him and not making him feel too guilty cos it might cause him to withdraw even more. Mine told me that he feels silly talking to the baby or kissing him as the baby can't feel anything. Weird thing to say - if he can feel the baby moving so can the baby feel him. It made him think a bit. :)
btw. watching baby shows together and him being into it ? yeah, that wouldn't happen here either and I think it's perfectly ok. We just have different approach no matter how annoying that can be to us.

[blessedx2]

Ugh mine too. He has touched my belly probably 5 times and I'm going on 30wks. He was a little more involved with me and belly with our 1st child. He is a great dad, I think he just doesn't even think much about it with our 1.5yr old to distract him. Plus its kinda like been there done that. He isn't even trying to pick out a name he keeps saying the same 3 like he's too lazy to even look anymore. He has never asked me how I feel or anything about baby or my pregnancy it's like he's in denial. I don't bring it.up much because he just blows me off. So annoying. I know he cares but he could at least act like it.

[GorJess24]

Fingers crossed ladies x

[Deedebaybeh]

my boyfriend does the exact same thing. i have a 4 year old & this is his first; but hes been daddy since my son was a month old. we're due Nov24. he kisses my belly but won't go to the dr appts with me (says they're pointless) didn't think doing a baby registry was necessary, doesn't want a baby shower, etc. if it's not hurting me he doesn't care. But im pretty sure once you, I, and every other mom out there that has this problem goes into labor that selfishness or whatever it is well fly out the window.

[MrsPerryman]

No problem I hope they change for u both because trust me I know how you feel I did go through it alone my cuzzin Which is a girl tried to b there for me as much as she could doing things I wanted him to do and I Thank her everyday but it's still not the same as if it was your partner it hurts but it changed for me the day of birth and my fingers is cross for u

[iameilly]

I'm glad to hear, my bf has 2 teenage kids from his previous marriage, he loves them a lot and spends more time with them than me, at this point I am thinking I am going to go through the whole pregnancy on my own since we don't even live together. Which I am prepared for. I'm glad to hear that things do change after the babies arrival. Thank you.

[GorJess24]

I keep telling myself that right now it's hard for him cause she's not actually here yet and when she is hopefully he'll be fine and really surprise me....just hope I'm right. He's just never really been around little babies too so that makes me nervous. Just hope now it's getting closer as I'm nearly 29 weeks hopefully he'll be a little more interesting. It's so disheartening and a little heartbreaking to feel you're doing it all alone especially when you have already been through that situation before with a previous partner and it ended horribly. Fingers crossed he surprises me!

[MrsPerryman]

All I can say it will change my bf did the same thing danger near to the end of my pregnancy he started being a lil interested talking to my belly and stuff but at first I try to tell him feel my stomach he moving he just blow me off like oo OK That good but now my son here he is the best dad ever really step up had me worried sometimes it takes a man to physically c the child u won't imagine the change in them in a matter of second wen they c that baby come out of u all he do is hog my son and wanna do everything I'm living proof it will get Better momma but until then I must say it was ruff but all worth it at the end