How are your relationships adjusting to having a baby?

[NicMom]

Now that the babies are a few months old I'm just wondering how everyone is doing with their relationships. I was surprised to find that things with my husband have changed so much in such a short time. It's funny how a 12 pound bundle of joy can do that.

We're still very much in the adjustment phase as far as I can tell. It's interesting trying to find that balance and not resenting one another. Some days it seems like a contest like he worked for 5 hours, but I was holding a cranky baby for 6 hours so I win and he needs to cook dinner. When I had my son I went back to work right away and didn't really have this problem. This time around staying at home is way harder than I thought it would be. I feel like I work 2 or 3 full time jobs it's just crazy and at the end of the week I don't even get a pay check or a thank you.

I sure hope the next baby is less of an adjustment to our relationship! I keep pushing back our ttc date. It was going to be February or March and now I'm thinking more like May or June. Oh I suppose I'm just whining today! I hope you are all doing a little better than I am with this.

[NicMom]

Ha ha I know for sure my husband couldn't do this without me!

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I guess not much has changed w/ me and my DH.  But this is my 6th and our 5th together.  He works a lot but when he is home, he will hold her for me so I can do things around the house or go to the store to get out of the house or whatever.  He doesn't mind.  I mean just think, he can hold her in front of the TV!!!!  Of course I do all of the feeding and changing and all of her needs.  If she needs medicine or whatever, it's me.  I do resent that sometimes but I know I will do it right though.  He would inevidably screw it up.  He acts like he can't read or something.  So, if I go out or whatever, I just make sure she is changed and fed to where all he has to do is just hold her.  I hate that it has to be that way sometimes.  I mean if I died tomorrow, I would like to know that he could take care of her properly.  IDK.......It's very hard though.  But the older they get, the easier it will get on some levels and harder too I guess because before you know it, they will be crawling and walking and getting into everything.

I do know how you feel though......My DH couldn't do my "job" for longer than a day or two without wanting to pull his hair out.  That much I know!!!

[AriQueen]

Hi Nicole, it think what you are going through is quite common. I felt the same way when I was home with Brandon the first couple of months and I completely hated it. I am kind of glad I am back to work b/c it gives me a sense of freedom. At least when I am at work I can check my emails and do personal things. But the minute I step foot in the house my aunt hands me the baby and I then take over to watch him til he goes to bed. My aunt is staying with me til January (she is my sitter for now) and then after that I will have to talk to my mom about helping me out with the baby.

As far as our relationship, we are doing better now. I make it a point to sit down and talk about our days and I make it a point to text or at least email my Dh throughout the day. I always tell him I love him and he does the same. I think having open communcation is key in any relationship. We also try to take turns especially over the weekend on who is getting up to feed the baby. Luckily has has been sleeping through the night but when he doesn't we take turns. He holds the baby while I clean and get ready and vice versa.  I think as long as you are sharing the chores/responsibility it should relieve you a bit. Perhaps if you get out of the house a bit it will help you too....just remember or remind your Dh that this is a team effort.  That;s what I tell my DH all the time. He is very helpful though and is love him for that.

I am here if you need to vent or chat...
XOXO,
Ari

[NicMom]

I know what you mean about not going out anymore. Finding a sitter is such a pain in the butt. I thought my parents would be more willing to help out since they only live 10 minutes away, but my mom went a whole month without even seeing the baby.

I don't miss being pregnant just yet! Give it a few months.

[slzerbst]

I guess we are adjusting just fine... this past weekend I had off and he woke up Sunday morning and feed, changed and occupied Owen until I got up around 9am... I was and still am very proud of him for that!  Tho he's tried doing that on the weekends I have off, but I'm usually up first.  Oh well this time it actually worked... and I was able to sleep a while longer!  Oh and I went back to work right away and it still feel as though I'm working 2-3 different jobs, I mean I get up in the morning have to take Owen to my parent's house, then go to work, pick him up and come home, just so that I have to take care of him at home until DH get's home.  And forget days off to have to myself... today Owen was really fussy due to the fact that he HATES laying down and taking a nap and he'll fussy until he falls asleep and well I needed today to get some chores done because of the holiday I haven't had ANY time to do laundy or dishes, so I put him in his carrier-sling thing and did my chores with him around my neck... and well now I'm more tired than ever because while he weighs about 14 or so lbs, climbing up and down the stairs with him and the laundy basket is tirering... not to mention frusterating because our stairs so narrow and it bearly fits with just me and the laundry basket.  So I understand what you mean nicmom!!  

Oh and when we want to go out it's a hassel because we have to find a baby sitter, and then go out after we drop him off there... needless to say we don't really go out any more.  Our nights consist of us sitting at home on the couch watching T.V., doing dishes, shopping (occationally), doing laundry, or occaionally having people over.  So yes it has been a life changing thing, and it's the most amazing thing to see Owen attempting to sit himself up, to babble, to say mumu once and a while (usually when he's upset)

And to be honest I do miss being pregnant, even if I was having all the gall bladder problems, however, I wouldn't dream about ttc for a few years, at least until Owen is out of diapers so I don't have that expence tied into everything else!!  I really don't know how people do it who have multiples!  And I commend anyone who does and is working out with them!  More power to them, but for me I don't know how I would have done it!  I'm pretty sure I would have went stir crazy by now!  LoL oh and being a stay at home mom, would drive me crazy too... I mean sitting inside the house all day on my days off drives me insane... espeically if Owen is extreamly fussy like he has been for the past three months because of his gas issues... but now he's seemed to be getting better!  He only will fuss when he's hungry or wet... and I guess it's a good thing that he fusses when he's wet because we haven't had diaper rash yet... and welll I really don't want to experiance that any time soon so I'm thankfull for that as well.  Any who I'm hope that everything improves... until then... we are still here... taking one day at a time... and Loving life more than ever!