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I need someone to talk to!):

I'm 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant with my second child. My first will be 1 1/2 this month.

I'm a stay at home mom. Some days get very stressful. I'm literally with him 24/7. My boyfriend doesn't give me a break. What mom doesn't need time for herself? He goes to work, comes home and gets a shower, goes to the gym for two hours, eats and goes to sleep. I know he loves to go to the gym but he could at least ask me once (Monday-Friday) if I'd like to go somewhere and do something but he doesn't. Anyways to top it off, they have this event down town called "Salsa Night" once a month. He goes everytime. I didn't mind him going before being that he works and deserves a night out until I found out he'd been lieing to me. He told me he goes there to hang out and have a few beers with his buddies from work. I know there is dancing at this event. I was suspicious and ask him a numerous of times if he dances, which he always told me no. I let it go and gave him the benefit of doubt. I later (months later) found out he'd been dancing with women at this event. I had pictures so he couldn't lie. I confronted him about it and he said
"It's nothing bad. It's just salsa music."
I then became worried when he went. He's went twice since I found out. There was an event in August. I asked him once again if he was going to dance. He told me he wasn't and he didn't. Well tonight came around, another event. I once again asked him if he was going to dance. He said he wouldn't, well when he got home I asked him if he danced with anyone, he said
"If I did, I did. If I didn't, I didn't."
like what the heck! They have this website where they post pictures of the past events, upcoming events, etc. so I'll know if he did or not but I just wanted to hear the truth from him. You know? Well here's my thing, he never asks me if I want to go with him. I said
"Well let me go."
He tells me okay only because he knows I don't have a babysitter. I said something last time and his remark was
"It's not a maternity place."
He just doesn't care about my feelings at all.
10 Responses
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Avatar universal
Wow iwould be pissed!! & yes its a lot harder when you already have kids involved. Its unfair how low they treat us just because we're pregnant & we cnt do anything & for em they can supposly do whatever they want all yr long. & again iask my husband if u didnt want a women telling you what to do or what not to do why in the world did u get married????!! Why did you end up having kids w.me???? If yu wana have freedom!! Fam is 1st & friends are last choice!!! Men dnt understand!! But ohhhh , Lordy if we do something wrong ohhhhh hellllll brakes lose!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My ex never took me out and always went to the gym. It was always about him. After we broke up I confirmed that he was cheating on me the whole time and wasn't at the gym after all. He blamed it all on me but I won my freedom. Thank goodness we didn't have children. I'll never let a man get the upper hand on me again. I'm fine being single and getting some cake when I need it. I don't understand why you don't see your job as a mom as working. You're a maid, a cook, a nurse, a nanny, a chauffeur, a personal shopper, a book keeper/accountant and much more. You're on call 24/7 and you should realize how hard you actually work. Why are you giving him everything and all the credit? Like the other gal said, there are plenty of men out there and ones that will treat you like the queen you are! My mom was remarried twice with three kids. Just because you love someone doesn't give them the right to take advantage of you and wipe their dirty feet. He's not going to change. Men never change. They just do what they want. My ex married the girl he cheated on me with then cheated on her with me without any of us knowing. Lol he's a joke and now in jail. Charming man that I was so stupid over. Thank God for getting me away from him!
Helpful - 0
317217 tn?1456286778
I hate selfish people like that, my ex was like that, we had two kids together and I tried my hardest for 3 extra years more than I should have. It's not easy but being happy completely outweighs the negatives. I'm glad I got out when I did, I'm now happily in a relationship with someone else who has taken on the children just like his own.

I mean I call everyone sweetheart and love, but then I mean everyone, not just people of the opposite sex and the way he's doing it is completely wrong, "I've known her longer than you" is not a reason, I've know a lot of people longer than my partner but I would go calling them my man/woman.
Helpful - 0
13015626 tn?1430505391
Im sorry to telk you but i am sure he is cheating and you have to know tht deep down inside. You don't deserve to be ignored played and taken advantage of especially while you are creating his child.

Thankfully I didn't so I know the advice of leaving him is harder for you to accept because there are children involved.  But ask urself this can you live ur life always wondering if he is being faithful?

I git so lucky with my husband we jus got married 2 days ago and in a matter of one year he made me feel the way I've always wished I would be treated my ex could never do tht. There are better men I promise you that. I'm here if u need to talk. Like I said I know 100% what ur feeling and going through I went through it and it honestly drained you, and makes you feel so low about everything that it makes you feel like your going insane!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Yes! I've even caught him texting this women, calling her my love, my heart, my woman, etc. when I said something to him he said
"I've known her longer then you. We're just friends. We have always talked like that."
Oh but if I did it then it would be a crime.
Did you have kids with your ex, the one that put you through everything?
Helpful - 0
13015626 tn?1430505391
If you feel like he doesn't care maybe you should stop carrying as well. I was in a relationship like yours for almost 5yrs he was always going out drinking going to the gym and texting other women. "I'm not doing anything we are just talking" I hated hearing that. Look at the signs sweetheart, if he is doing all these things that make you feel unappreciated and put down and your letting them slide because he does one ice thing here and there that's a sign that this ain't meant to be girl.

word of advice don't look at the past don't look at the "we used to" that's all past tense look at the now. If the now ain't making any sense you need to kick his *** to the curb, that whole "if i did, i did, and if I didn't, i didn't." is bulls,h,i,t! I highly doubt that all he does is just dance.

Sorry if this sounds harsh talking from my own experience. I am now at the happiest point of my life now though. I am married to this incredible man who listens to me, takes care of me, loves me, and when we fight we dont even fight we talk about what is bothering us hear each other out and than resolve the issue. NEVER SETTLE that's the truth your prince is out there is probably waiting for you to dumb this a**hole so he can swoop in.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
We used to go dancing all of the time before our son was born. I realize you can't go out all of the time once you have a child. I'm not complaining. The last night he took me out dancing was the beginning of Easter, which at that time I didn't have a baby bump. He comes in and says
"I'm going to salsa night."
instead of saying, I already have a babysitter set up that way we can go together. He never thinks. I told him yesterday before he went out
"How would you feel if I told you I was going out with the girls to the bar/club and you found out later I was dancing with guys?"
he said
"I would be p*ssed off."
I said
"Oh but it's okay for you to do it? You would leave me if I put you through what you've put me through."
He told me I was right but still did the same thing. It's like he doesn't care.
Helpful - 0
317217 tn?1456286778
Firstly, he's acting like a selfish c,u,n,t (I'm sorry but he deserves it). At least once a week, fortnight, month, (whatever suits you) you need time off, be with friends etc.... He spends 10 hrs a week at the gym and he's going to salsa nights, tell him one night is not much to request.

Secondly the dancing as someone who has danced salsa, don't make a big thing of it, it's just dancing, it doesn't mean anything. In fact if he's going to be like that tell him if you can't come with him, he can't go. I mean if my partner said he wanted to come with me, I'd jump at the chance. In fact it's one thing I'm looking forward to after the baby comes, get back dancing.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Exactly! Some guys are plain a**holes. My boyfriend had to get up for work this morning. I asked him if he danced with someone. He told me he did but only one song. I get mad. Regardless if it's one, two, three+ songs, he shouldn't be dancing with anyone. He lied!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow.. he sounds like a prince! Sorry girl.. :( I had a boyfriend like that once. He was very hard to get rid of. I am now married and 38w3d along with a normally good man. I'm lying down sick as a dog and he comes into the room after work smelling like beer asking me what's wrong. I'm like, what?! What does it look like?! We argued for a while and I felt worse. Now he's making me tea and some dinner. Idk girl.. these men can be so selfish and careless. I feel like saying,  "I could be out in the club drinking and dancing but no I'm being healthy and growing your baby, fool!" Two wrongs don't make a right but your boyfriend and my husband better shape up or ship out!
Helpful - 0
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