4 dogs... 35 weeks... I'm losing sanity

[becca2232]

So when I met my husband 4 years ago I was an animal lover. He had 1 dog (an 80 lb male pitbull) and I loved that dog to pieces!! Needless to say our relationship grew stronger and stronger and we decided to take the next step of moving in together. We have a very small house and I am completely content with it, (easier to keep Clean) however upon moving in his close friend gave him another pit bull (female) as a house warming gift....while I was excited to have a new addition to the family I still knew the responsibilities would be doubled now when it comes to feeding, walking, cleaning, etc... he didn't seem to think about it at all but it all worked itself out.  A year after getting the female and 1000 conversations ( and rejection) about getting her fixed . It finally happened one day he wasn't paying attention and we found them locked together outside and the pregnancy commenced.  She had 10 puppies. He kept 2 males...... let me remind you  we have a TINY house 2 bedroom 1 bath. All of these dogs live indoors. He refused to get any of them fixed. After the two puppies turned 2 they started trying to express dominance over their dad and horrible dog fights ensued, I've been bitten multiple times trying to get all 3 of them apart. So now our tiny home is literally divided by a baby gate the puppies stay in the back of the house ( our room) and mom and dad live in the living room/ kitchen. I'm a southern woman I love nothing more than a Clean home it gives me so much satisfaction. But lately I've become so depressed because no matter how much I clean there are ALWAYS remnants of 4 80 lb dogs left behind. They shed like you wouldn't believe, my white walls are stained brown about 3 ft up from the baseboards, I'm constantly pushing past dogs whether I'm trying to cook a meal in my kitchen or simply walk to my side of the room to crawl into bed. I literally HATE these dogs  and now that I'm having my first baby girl it's really hitting me hard, I don't want her crawling on the floor because of the fur let alone the massive disgusting dogs. I have tried expressing my concerns to my husband but he honestly doesn't get how frustrated I am. He loves these dogs and he wouldn't get rid of them for ANYTHING not even his own first born daughter. I'm in tears writing this now. While the 2 puppies are horseplay in right beside my bed . Someone please give me advice,  or uplifting words.  I'm really honestly losing my mind

[LKA5]

Sweetie! My heart goes out! I wish I could hug you! Im 6 months myself, and facing my own nesting challenges too. (Also having our first, and it's a girl!)
We're currently moving to be near family and a support system, but I find the common thread in it all is communication.  All my frustrations are communication based and it sounds like yours are too. Your partner isn't hearing you. You have real, valid concerns and I think it's time to let some of those pregnancy hormones do their job and get some attention. I'm with you in that you don't want to be bitten while breast feeding, and your mama bear instincts will kick in and there will be some dogs that will be in your path. Best to head that off at the pass. I find that story telling is a great way to communicate concerns that haven't happened yet. I'm sure your mind has run laps around this problem, playing out terrible scenarios. His probably hasnt; he just doesn't want to lose his dogs.  So tell him a story about what it might be like, with a baby, trying to feed, or sleep or recover from childbirth, amongst this chaos. Paint a best case, and a worst case. Tell him how you feel, and that you're doing something huge, giving him a child. You need some comfort and care in order to be able to take on this very big challenge. On a side note, in Canada at least, doctors/nurses visit new moms in their homes to make sure the child is being adequately cared for. If you think it's that bad with the dogs,  they might too and leave you both with some far more difficult choices.
Good luck my friend, and don't forget, this one cannot be over communicated.
Xo L

[weldermom]

im with annie you have to do something to get his attention he's not the only one living there but tell him he could be if he doesn't do something and fast he's being very selfish

[minnymee]

Never know the newborn might be allergic to the dogs . since she will be a first born .

[AnnieBrooke]

Do you have somewhere to go, such as to your mother's?  Because it really sounds like until you do, he is not going to take your comments about the dogs seriously.

[AnnieBrooke]

You should have put your foot down long ago on the issue of neutering the dogs.  I guess you can even do it in a sneaky way -- there are such things (if you can believe it) as testicle prosthetics for dogs; you could have gotten all the males neutered and gotten prosthetics sewn in and no one the wiser.  But now it's past the point of subterfuge, either those dogs get neutered *and* he builds them an outdoor pen (he can go nuts with an air-conditioned doghouse if he wants) or you leave.  It's not safe or clean as it is, and a baby does not deserve to be in danger or in dirt.  Don't be a doormat, it's time to make it clear he's being a selfish jerk, not to mention making the two of you look like unfit parents.

[remy75]

I don't know how you still have your sanity with 4 big dogs in a tiny house like that. My personal opinion is that the 2 young male pups have to go. I LOVE dogs and I've always had dogs but now we just have 1 in our little house. You have a baby coming...and we'll she most certainly is more important. Her safety and health come before his sentimentality over the two pups. Plus I think a compromise is keeping the momma dog and dad and finding homes for the males.  If those dogs mean so much then he should realize the 2 young males are better off in another home anyway. And I'm not an ignorant person who hates dogs.  I love dogs and I cried but I had to let some of my sweet dogs go to new homes. Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest to make. And the dogs may not mean to hurt baby but if they get into dominance scrapping or just scrapping being in such a tiny space then it is only a matter of time before something happens. Sometimes there is no easy way to say the truth. I wish you good luck in resolving this and all the best with baby.

[swatts919]

I wish I knew how to help! Four dogs is a definite no go with a new baby I have a Rottweiler and I was worried when I had my first son how she would react cause she was our first baby so what we did was when I had him I had my husband bring home the blanket he was first wrapped in and let her smell it she knew a baby was coming we also had a baby doll about a month before he was born that cried so I think that helped too now I am pregnant with my second so we will see how she does but that's my recommendation it helped us so maybe it will help you

[lkaykirk]

Wait and see how they react to her. But at first don't leave her alone with the dogs. My dog had been around kids and he is over protective of kids. But when we had our son and he started walking the dog knocks him down every now and then but the dog gets told no and a spanking. And it will be weeks before he does it again. And it's not on purpose it's just the dog is excited and the baby is excited and it's caiotice.

[becca2232]

I have tried giving him scenerios, he brushes them off or ignores me completely.  He says these dogs are our "family" and he won't even think about getting rid of any of them.  I even asked him what he would do if one of them even growled at our daughter considering they've never seen a child let alone a new born baby and he says " they wouldn't do that"....
I will not put my daughter in danger at all so unfortunately I have to think about possibly leaving my husband if any of this occurs. He isn't seeing the big picture.  And I'm finding each day more stressful as the 28 day countdown continues until I meet my daughter. :(

[lkaykirk]

I wish I knew how to help. I really really do. I'm sorry.