help please at the end of my rope

[suggsbaby]

Ladies why is it you try your best to do something and please someone  but yet you still have people made or pissed at you? I'm 17 weeks soon to be 18. M bf and I was planning on getting married then his grandfather passed I had to work the day of the wake and his grandmother is pissed at me about it. Then he just confronted me to day about him not trusting me along with his little girl. No more cause I said something about how I was raised not being able to sleep with my parents after being so old along with he thinks I may hurt her with anger. Yes I will say I did that once. But I have never hit the little girl with anger again cause I yelled at me self about it. I'm it just hurt cause to me he's pretty much calling me a bad parent. When I'm just now spending more time with her then what I was cause I was working two jobs, now I'm just down to one. Pluse on top of things the thought of not having him come to the rest of my on vists is crossing my mind and if or not I want him when the baby is born. Can you ladies give me some advice please. I do love the father and I want things to work out.

[cef1990]

I agree with RockRose and anniebrooke on the basis of him protecting his child. You have to realise that however angry a child makes you from their behavior they are just children learning right from wrong and it is your job as an adult to deal with situations correctly and calmly. If you have an inability or remain calm and control your emotions when dealing with his child then he has every right to be concerned. As above has said when your baby is born you will see that you won't tolerate anyone hurting or upsetting your child. You need to make him see that you understand why he has concerns and ask him to help you both get through this situation.

[AnnieBrooke]

I think that if anyone ever hurt my son in anger, I would never let them near my child again.  Sorry.  You will feel that way once you have your baby, even about him, who you say you love.  If he were ever to hit your child, I assume that would be it.

If you have anger issues or immaturity in that way (the inability to keep from lashing out when mad) see a counselor if you can, or a pastor, or talk to an older relative.  Anything to show your boyfriend that you take it seriously.  He is not going to be impressed by "I talked to myself."  You talk to yourself all the time and you still hit his child.

Please take this more seriously.  He is judging what kind of mama you are going to be.  Time to step up and show that you will be a good one.

[suggsbaby]

any other adives please

[suggsbaby]

Yes the wake was well attended and he was there when I did it came came out kissed Me on the top of the head I told him I was sry I was in tears he laughed at me told me he knows n understands just don't let it happen again n I didnt

[RockRose]

suggs,  I think you need to separate out all these issues.

First,  did almost no one come to the Wake,  and so your boyfriend's grandmother is just hurt and rejected and she's taking it out on you?  If the Wake were well-attended,  it would be hard to understand why she's so angry at you for being at work.

Second,  your boyfriend is wise to proceed carefully with his daughter being alone with you. You've already hurt her in anger,  he would be remiss (maybe even criminally negligent) to allow you alone with her again until a long time has passed and you have had a chance to change.  He's probably feeling pulled in a lot of directions - he can't trust you with his child and meanwhile you are carrying another child.

You will have to show him,  through actions over a long period of time,  that you can help parent his children.

[QueenRubyRed]

Its worth a try and explain to him everything after he is more calm so it will be a lil easier to talk to him without him getting upset and tell him how you feel about what he said

[suggsbaby]

I was thinking that may help but idk

[QueenRubyRed]

Just give him some space for a couple of days and then try to talk to her