Feeling left out

[LaurenC86]

So I definitely don't mind my guy going out and doing his thing, bc I trust him and want him to have a good time, just miss being included in all the fun we use to have before I got pregnant, and going out watching everyone else have drinks and whatnot just doesn't appeal to me for obvious reasons, lol. I love being pregnant and doing the right thing for baby, but it does get a little depressing at times. At least when the baby is here I'll have her to play with and devote my time to on nights he wants to go out with the guys or whatever, and my mom said she'll be there anytime to watch her if we wanna go out together for the night, it's just getting through the pregnancy that seems a little lonely at times... Anyone else feeling a little left out and kind of lonely  these days just bc of being pregnant?

[specialmom]

I was a little different.  Having a child changes a couple's lifestyle and choices.  Partying was something to be a once in a blue moon occasion as we were going to have a child to raise together.  We became much more about having family time than going out.  

It's good you don't mind but if you begin to resent him a bit, tell him honestly.  When you are at home caring for the new baby and he is out drinking with pals, that gets old quick.  

good luck

[LaurenC86]

Oh, I don't mind that he goes out, I just get bored and lonely sometimes. But just bc I don't want to go out due to the pregnancy, doesn't mean he shouldn't still be able to go out and have a good time.  

[B1128]

I get the feeling. My boyfriend is usually home due to him working and being tired. But I've also tried to encourage him on going out. Which he hasn't done much of, but with his new job he has made new friends. With the baby coming in three weeks, I often get anxiety about the stress it will cause for us and our relationship so I have tried to get over my anxiety and encourage him to have a guys night out and it will also help myself for him to go out as well. My man works hard, and has throughout my whole pregnancy, if he wants to go out them he can. He deserves it, and he is a good man.

The baby will bring all sorts of new things into our lives and I will need him in so many different ways then what I do now. And he will have me and the baby relying on him and needing him more often. Allow your guy to go out and not feel like garbage for doing so. As far as my situation goes, he deserves to be out for a drink or whatever with the guys.

[sarjaxmar]

Thanks!it is tough.  And I agree going out is really pointless for a pregnant mother! It sound like we all have a careless selfish guy

[LaurenC86]

I hear ya GeekMom1213!! I think that's great that you still stay so involved with everything your guy is doing and with your friends.. Honestly, I just don't have much desire to go out and be around people either way, not really the alcohol I have a problem with (but drunks definitely annoy me more. Lol) just not very social when pregnant, and I definitely don't wanna rain on my guys parade bc I really don't mind him going out and having fun even if it's not my thing atm. I do like going out for a dinner for two or maybe to the movies with just us, and I love when he actually does stay home and we can have a nice quiet night together, but that doesn't happen very often bc he is definitely a social butterfly and likes to be surrounded by people when he goes out. Lol

[GeekMom1213]

Oh, when I was expecting my first I went out to a local nightclub/sports bar EVERY Friday night with my husband... and I went to concerts and whatever else I wanted to do, usually with him but sometimes on my own. It never really bothered me not to be drinking... I'd have a soda or just water, it was just so nice to be out of the house and hang out with friends. I made a great DD when my husband wanted to have a couple drinks... but we're both too old to have been going out to "get wasted" so it wasn't like I was surrounded by drunks. We still had fun and I was definitely still up for dancing even though I got tired more easily.
Now that we're working on baby #2 of course I spend more time at home but we get a babysitter occasionally or I'll go out to a show or something while hubby stays home. It's important for me to have a social life too, expecting a baby or not. I won't give up the opportunity to hang out with my friends when I get a chance - starting a family doesn't mean giving up on the life my husband and I had before we became parents.

[LaurenC86]

@ jessicaeden, I can only imagine how much harder it must be on you when your guy goes out if you don't trust him.

[LaurenC86]

First comment was at katie_1989.. and At sarjaxmar. Wow... that does sound like it could get pretty lonely. Sounds like you're an excellent mother though to have sacrificed so much for your child!! I really commend you for that. And I totally understand why you wouldn't want to sit in a cold fish house all the time like daddy does, Lol, but I know what you mean by giving in just to be with him. (But I bet that was pretty disappointing that he didn't help you paint the baby a room) My guy loves video games and a lot of times I don't feel like playing with him, but sometimes it feels like it's the only thing we really can do together these days. Like I said I don't mind him going out and having fun. It just gets so lonely sometimes, bc at 28 week's going out definitely does not appeal to me. Especially if that means I have to sit around and watch everyone else get drunk. Lol

[jessicaeden13]

I know what you mean.. we just had our baby shower today and after his friends showed up and they went to the lake for the night... so I'm alone naturally. But the thing is, I don't trust him at all due to reasons. It is what it is I guess..

[LaurenC86]

Exactly!! Nice to know I'm not alone.

[sarjaxmar]

Yes! I've been asking my boyfriend to help me paint the baby's room since I was 27 weeks pregnant.  He always says he will but ends up convincing me to go fishing instead. He says "don't worry we Wil do it next weekend", but we don't. I finally did it today by my self. I'll be 31 weeks in two days so I'm uncomfortable and large and it's tough to paint alone. I don't even want to sit in a small cold fish house, I just want to be with him that's why I give in. Instead of helping me paint today, he went fishing with his buddies. We have an autistic toddler I care for full time, I don't get "days off". I have no friends to help me out, they all quit talking to me a few months after my first was born because I could no longer" hang out" due to caring for my baby. They all like the bar scene, not chilled at my house watching me take care of my little one. All my family lives in California, so no help from them. I guess I'm feeling alone too. I love my toddler,  but he is nonverbal so it can get lonley

[katie_1989]

Definitely! Hes out tonight with his friends which is completely fine with me but im alone at home  just watching tv (and eating.. a lot lol). I dont feel like going out but i know exactly what you mean!