Aa
In desperate need of relationship advice!!! :"(
Okay,ladies..so I know this isn't exactly pregnancy related but I have no one to talk to right now who understands where I'm coming from. So I'm 18 years old, 34 weeks pregnant and my fiancé and I have been together for three years. We don't live together yet and it's driving me crazy. I cry every night because I want him here so bad. He says he wants to be here but It doesn't make sense because I don't see anyone or anything stopping him from it. He spends almost everyday with me and always wants to see me but as far as staying a night or even planning to move in is like non-existant to him. It makes me think he doesn't want to be here..or he doesn't want this as much as I do. I feel like I should talk to him more about it but every time I bring it up he reassures me that he's just as excited and ready to get married and move in and really wants to do it as soon as possible..but it's been 8 months and we've only talked about it a handful of times and it's always ME who brings it up. I am so close to my due date I don't have time to plan a wedding much less feel like it...I love him so much and I'm certain he's the one I want to spend my life with and have a child with but I need him to take this to the next step rather that be marriage or moving in. I mean in the next couple of weeks. I dont want my water to break walking down the freaking isle. he isn't being there for me like I need him to be. I don't want to force anything upon him I want to know what he wants! And if he wants to be with me then why doesnt he do something about it soon....i want to be a family. This isnt how its supposed to be. I have been blessed with a healthy unborn baby girl and have not even gotten to enjoy most of my pregnancy from all the stress and confusion he is causing. I cry and cry every time he leaves to go home. It doesn't feel right without him. I'm thinking about just sitting him down and telling him he has two choices, either he steps up and stays with me like he's promised he would or he stays away until baby is here. I'm tired of being hurt and feeling unwanted. I would really like someone's advice or comments on this. (No rudeness, please)
Just relax, at least he is there for u, but u don't want to force him to do something that he isn't ready to do, u want him to do it on hisown terms so u know its from his heart ...
If you are engaged he obviously wants to get married so I see no problem in trying to move things along, although I'd never want to get married while I was pregnant..too much stress. Weddings are stressful enough to plan as it is. I planned mine for over a year. However I do find it very odd that he never spends the night. Do you ever spend the night at his place?
Thankseveryone for the helpful comments. ♡ this helped me to see it a lot differently. I will talk it out with him and try to go at this a better, more mature and loving way than what I had planned for the sake of our relationship and for our baby. Just like any relationship it will take patience and communication.
Thank you for your comments. I would never try to keep him away from his child. I love him too much to do that to him and I know he's going to be a great father. He's with me a few hours of the day but at night he's away and that's when I feel alone and sad. I try not to be but I can't help it. I miss him and especially if I'm in pain or feeling sick I want him by my side. But you're right, I shouldn't force him to make a decision like that and I guess I will just have to push these negative feelings away and focus on getting ready to bring my baby into this world and giving her everything she needs. ♡ I'll have to give it more time.
I'm sorry to hear you're in this difficult situation ...
I have two very close friends, both of whom have been with their respective guys for a very long time (10years) and one of the couples even have a child ... but neither are married.
from what I believe, the guys dont easily understand how much the next stage means to their partner. a guy will not always welcome change if this takes him out of his comfort zone. he seems to do alright with the current set-up and doesn't feel the need to disrupt it. I'm not trying to judge or generalize, as guys differ, but I'm recalling what I've seen with both my friends.
if you are already engaged, maybe you can explain to him the benefits of living together and getting married. make him realise that its a good change and will make his life easier instead of having to travel back n forth. stability is always better thsn uncertainty. assure him that you'll both take care of whatever planning and organising is required and it will be hassle free.
dont worry ... he'll soon realise that your relationship and the pregnancy is a blessing and your next step will feel very natural and easy.
good luck girl :-)
I have two very close friends, both of whom have been with their respective guys for a very long time (10years) and one of the couples even have a child ... but neither are married.
from what I believe, the guys dont easily understand how much the next stage means to their partner. a guy will not always welcome change if this takes him out of his comfort zone. he seems to do alright with the current set-up and doesn't feel the need to disrupt it. I'm not trying to judge or generalize, as guys differ, but I'm recalling what I've seen with both my friends.
if you are already engaged, maybe you can explain to him the benefits of living together and getting married. make him realise that its a good change and will make his life easier instead of having to travel back n forth. stability is always better thsn uncertainty. assure him that you'll both take care of whatever planning and organising is required and it will be hassle free.
dont worry ... he'll soon realise that your relationship and the pregnancy is a blessing and your next step will feel very natural and easy.
good luck girl :-)
Maybe he just needs a lil him time, that's y he stays at night at his place.which is totally understandable bc we woman can be a handful You two do need to talk, maybe you can just get married by court(my hubby n i did) and move in together and do real wedding later on with celebration. You shouldnt force him into marrying u or moving in till hes ready and dont keep him away from his child. He seems to love you and wants to be apart of both your lives so dont cause unnecessary drama. Just confront him and ask whats up?? He could prob just be scared bc he might fear finacially being able to provide for you two and no room at his place (my hubby was, it took us 1.5yr after baby born to marry and move in together! But he missed The baby n i so much, he saved up for us to get one bed room apt, and moved out of his parents n we got married by court till could afford churcj wedding/party! Nothing wrong.just hear his side why he goes home at nightz might surprise you.
I know its hard but just try to accept the support hes giving you right now. Sounds like u love him alot so you'll probably be more upset if he stays away til baby. Don't make any hasty decision that may cause more stress. Good luck <>
Take a deep breath and try to relax. It seems like your bf loves you and wants to be with you and baby. You said hes always with u. Your energy needs to be focused onnyour child. Its okay that hes not ready to move in or get married. You shouldn't force him or give him ultimatums. And even if he didn't want to be with u, you do not have a legal or moral right to keep him away from his child. That will backfire big-time.
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