First time mother

[Cecy_Rigo]

I would like to know if you any of you have gone thru the fact your excited to find out your are pregnant and your spouse is disappointment not wanting this child. How you do you cope with it and get him to change his mind?

[Msdollie]

didn't know what to do either. But my little boy is the best gift I have ever received in life. He has impacted my life since day one.. just stay positive and do what's best for u at the end of the day. I know u probably feel like all the weight is on your shoulders but u will come out stronger in the end.. every child is a blessing don't miss out on yours bc of your boyfriend.. take care..!

[Msdollie]

I totally agreed with Chloi., U can break that cycle if u want to. let it be your motivation to have a better relationship with the baby than u had with your parents.. Being young and pregnant for the first time is rather scary and stressful.. But once you look into your baby's eyes for the first time you will fall in love. A child changes everything. Atleast for me it did bc I was scared and had doubts my first pregnacy and

[Chloi]

The first question is do you want the baby and if the answer is no then you need to seriously re evaluate your partners purpose in your life. No matter what certain situations will expose a person for who they really are and giving in to a man, or anyone, that wants you to have an abortion just to hold you emotionally hostage on whether you want to keep him or not may not be the right person for you. Even though you don't have the best relationship with your parents doesn't mean that you can't break the cycle with your child. If you want to leave him then do it for yourself when you seriously want to leave, not because you're hoping he'll wise up and stay around. What if he doesn't? Prepare yourself for the fact that it may be over. If you both are truly meant to be then you will be...it shouldn't be paid with the cost of your child's life.

[Cecy_Rigo]

Thank you everyone. I think this is was harder part of my life so far and only being 21. He's really stressed out I have told his little sister that I'm pregnant she tells me that I should tell their patentsu cause doesn't even want to do that we live with them cause I have had a few bad years where my parents disowned me and don't talk to me and have tried hurting me I here for protection he has told me that I'm not worthy to be the mother of his children. He parents have apologized for bring an A** into the world that I don't deserve how he talks to me they have no idea that I'm pregnant. I have tried so hard to change his mind I need him to do so but I can't I have also thought about giving in. I have told him that if I do that I will leave him always bring up that I have no where to go nor a job cause of my family getting me fired. I can't deal with it no more he has tired hurting me already.

[Msdollie]

Also if he refuses to help you financially when the baby comes put him on child support. Another thing since u don't have insurance, you could probably find a women's clinic in your area or near by that will go by your income. You may be able to get monthly check ups and ultra sounds. You just have to call around.. but good luck and have a healthy pregnancy.

[Msdollie]

That's very selfish n childish of him it's clear he's still a child hisself obviously. Either way u have to do what u have to do for u and your baby. If that means leaving him than so be it.. Your pregnacy should be the happiest time for you.. stressing yourself over him will result in a unhealthy pregnancy I know from experience. I'm pregnant with my 2nd child now and thank god my fiancé now is sooo supportive.. But my first child's father was never there or helpful. als

[ChrissiRyan]

I went through the same issue at the start of my pregnancy, my bf was not happy bc he is in college until dec and he is only 21. He felt that having a baby would be a huge negative impact on his life. He was constantly telling me to get an abortion and that if I kept the baby he would leave me and never have anything to do with his child. Then one day I got sick of hearing it all the time and threatened to actually leave him and he changed his mind instantly. Now he is the most supportive and helpful man ever. I could never have expected the change that he made but I am glad that he has decided to embrace our child. I am now 18 weeks and he has been asking me for the past month everytime I see the doctor if it's a girl ( he insists that it's gonna be a daddy's girl ) we now go together on July 21 to find out the gender and he couldn't be more excited. Always try to explain your side of things and if he still says the same things then try leaving and if he refuses to fight for you or accept his child then he never will. The best thing for you at that point is to then continue your pregnancy and be the best parent you can for your child. I know how you feel being a single parent, I was a single mother when I had my son 5 years ago and it hurt me bc I never had my mom around growning up and I never wanted that for my children. Now when I look back I see that my child has gained more from having a single parent than a parent that resent him.

[Sexci_Black11]

ALL I CAN SAY IS LEAVE HIM YES ITS FINNA BE HARD BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY A MOTHER CHILD IS ITS MOTHER CHILD BECAUSE U CARRIED HIM OR HER FOR NINE MONTHS SO ITS U WHO GOTTA TAKE OF YOUR CHILD HE CAN WALK OUT ANY DAY AND TIME BUT U FINNA ALWAYS BE THERE TRY TO MAKE HIM CHANGE HIS MIND BUT IF HE DONT WANT TO THEN FORGET HIM MOVE ON DO YOU AND THE BEST FOR U AND YOUR CHILD !!!!!

[Cecy_Rigo]

He's has made up his I have tried changing it that what I keep hopin for but I'm at the point where I wanna leavr him I have tried doesn't let me cause I have something of his and he needs to know I won't have it if I leave doesn't want surprises later on
I know I have to apply for ahcccs so I can get my first ultrasound since I'm no long covered by dathersu insurance cause I'm pregnant

[ashcats77]

My husband wanted me to get an abortion in the beginning. It was bad and ina way i know how you feel right now.... but in the end its your choice and if he really loved you, he'd do his best to support you and his child. Just give it some time to adjust. Take him to the ultrasound appointments if you can. Never know. Little by little hell start to understand. If it takes him long enough, once that baby is out everything inside his mentality changes.

[Cecy_Rigo]

No we are not married at least not now two years ago I had a miscarriage I was told that it would take me two to four year to get pregnant again I was hoping for the four year range it didn't happen it was the two year range. I was also told that if I have a second miscarrage or an abortion it would be the end of me having kids. At this point he n I are having more fights each day that make it harder on me. I also have lupus which make it harder for me. I'm always tired my lupus is thank god controlled but I'm always scared

[Cecy_Rigo]

Thank but I honestly think it would be way to hard for me. I grew up with out my father. I was an unwanted child fron my mother. I'm hurt by them I have no contact with them no more so I could be happy.

[skipapage]

My question is are you married. I had the same problem my husband had no interest in having kida where as I want 4. He married me knowing I wanted kids but had hoped we might just enjoy eachother that he could avoid it all together or at least wait a few more years. So when we found out he was in utter shock, and he couldnt believe it was happening and tried explaining he didnt want kids and obviously we were having one but he was upset, it took him about a month to adjust. Now he is excited but scared of the unknown and how will we pay bills etc. If he is not your husband give him time and if he doesnt come around move on. If you are married then better for worse and he will adjust.

[MommyAngie925]

Well this is hurtful , but in my opinion if your happy and he's not than theres nothing better than continuing without him. Yes its hard , but having a kid should be a blessing something you are both happy about.  I'm sorry to hear that,  hopefully he will step up and be a father to his kid.