Pregnant with twins-struggling and afraid of the future

[3boys_oh_boy]

Hi Everyone-I am new to this forum and thought I would post to see if anyone was experiencing similar or had any advice.  I am 39 yrs old and expecting twin boys (25 weeks pregnant) I have a 6 yr old son and since I found out it was twins I have been experiencing depression and anxiety. Mostly about the future and how to handle twins and deal with this financially.  We had 2 miscarriages in less than a year before this pregnancy and I should be happy as we wanted one more child.  But that is the problem, we wanted one more and now we are having 2 more.  They wanted me to do fertility treatments due to the miscarriages but we didn't want multiples-yet we are having them anyway (no twins on either side -my husbands or mine).  I know we will love them and be good parents to them, but I am so scared and I can't stop the anxious thoughts and fears.

I am having trouble eating (I eat for the babies, but I have to force food down-and that is not me!) and gaining weight, am tearful a good deal of the time.  My OB and Perinatologist dont really want to prescribe meds-I have dealt with depression in the past and postpartum with my son.  I want to be happy about this pregnancy but I am just so depressed and scared.  Anyone else have/had this happen and made it through to the other side ok?

Sorry so long winded, and thanks in advance for any replies or thoughts on this, I just feel so alone and scared.

[3boys_oh_boy]

Thanks for your post and sharing your experience.  It is getting to an unbearable point for me-I am 27 weeks and think I may just need to take the meds. My son was born with colic and reflux and I had stopped taking the zoloft with my pregnancy with him when I found out I was pregnant.  

I struggle so much with wanting to do the right thing and the fact that I am feeling so bad makes me think I need the meds. To not be excited and feel like this is the worst thing that could be happening (twins) makes me want to take the meds...ultimately I just want to do right by them.

Thanks again for your posts.

[cgricci]

I was on the zoloft for the entire pregnancy both times and am still on it now even though i am nursing.  i do both nursing and bottle feeding.  none of my kids have troble sleeping as far as being irritable, they are colicly but i don't know if that is because of meds or just them.

[3boys_oh_boy]

Thank you so much for your post and your words of wisdom. It is encouraging to know that others are in the same situation and are making it work.  We are doing the same-getting things from garage sales, consignment shops, friends to make ends meet.  I will remind myself that when they are here and it is tough that it is temporary and things will get easier.  I am just so scared and having such trouble with the tearfulness and not getting to enjoy the joy of this pregnancy because it wasn't what we expected.  I feel like that sounds terrible and we have just enough room, and the ability to manage 1 more child financially (barely) -2 more just feels like it will be too much to handle.

I was on Zoloft in the past and it helped me.  Did you take it your entire pregnancy or did they make you stop at any point?  I was on it when I got pregnant and stopped it but am thinking about going back on.  I have read they try to take you off in late pregnancy so the babies don't have trouble adjusting.  From what I read they can be more irritable, have trouble eating/sleeping.  Did yours experience any of that?  

Thanks again for responding and for your thoughts and help.

[cgricci]

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.  We were very shocked when we found out we were having twins.  Our identical girls were born in june.  like you we had one daughter and wanted one more child, but nature had its own thoughts so now we have a 2 year old daughter and 3 month old twin girls.  it is a lot of work, but i just keep telling myself its not forever.  i was on zoloft during both my pregnancies my thoughts and that of my docs were the beefits out weighed the negs.  you need to function day to day that is very important.  

as far as financially we've managed to get a lot of things second hand or borrow extra stuff and the girls are just going to have share a bedroom.  

hope this helps.  goodluck