still confused

[Vladmir]

ello, a few months ago i asked
  

, Mar 08, 2008 02:04PM
my fiancee and in had sex for the first time(ever) about three weeks ago and again a week later... Both times we used a condom, however we never finished... She just missed her period this month, so she went to get tested at a hospital... the tests came back positive... We need to know how the hell this can be possible.............


i was given heplful feed back:


by jensavon


Condoms, just like all other birth control methods are not 100% effective. Semin can leak out the tiniest holes in the condom, and even though you did not finish, you may have had just enough escape. Semen can live for as long as or longer than 72 hours in the female body, and if she was near ovulation, then the egg is viable for 12-24 hours. So....this is what you should always be prepared for no matter what kind of birth control you are using, or just abstain until you are ready to have children. I hope this helps.


by vmvnpv

, Mar 09, 2008 09:36AM
Pre-ejaculate also carries sperm which may have leaked out and gotten her pregnant.  So while you may never have finished there's always a chance of sperm getting in as long as your penis enters her vagina.  That's why the pull out method isn't a good form of BC either.  (And I think condoms are something like 97% reliable?????)

and a doctor told me:
Doctor's Answer

by Keith Downing, MD


, Mar 14, 2008 10:13AM
Hello,

Was the condom used properly and 100% of the time?  Are you her only partner?
Perhaps you two need to talk through this a bit more.

Best regards,

Dr. Downing


he did not help at all...
i say we had had sex for the first time(ever), meaning before that first time we were VIRGINS....
its pretty bloody obvious, but i guess he wasn't informed to use more that just book knowledge when
giving advice about stuff.... any one else hav useless info for me

[pugroxie]

antwonelouie is right, please don't be upset with the doctor because you hear thing that you don't want to hear.  it's simply is opinion, suggestion, and from his education. he is a doctor for a reason. you and i know that doctor spend years studing and research for their answers.

it is heart breaking to hear that someone is disappointed because they got pregnant.  i've been trying for the past 2.5 years with my husband and no luck.

you are here now, let you and your fiancee take this opportunity to welcome the life of both of you.

good luck and cherish your child

[Vladmir]

thank you for the information... its more inciteful, and trust me... there was no other man... i'm her one and only... so it's is apparently more probable that the condom was either faulty or improperly used... again thank you for the advice...

[antwonelouie]

Don't be upset with the doctor you have to remember how many teen pregnancy' s / out of wedlock pregnancy 's are being cared for in todays day and age.  My husband and I didn't have sex till after we were married at the end of October of 2007 and I got pregnant in the middle of Nov ( I started my period like two or three days after we got married great timing I know!)   And I found out at the end of Nov.  I highly doubt the nurses who did the pregnancy test believed me but the important thing is that you both love and trust each other and will take care of this baby.  It can be scary for both of you and I can tell by your writting it has made you nervous, we were to!   Keep in mind that she is also likely feeling this way and be a support to each other.  Besides as time passes you will be more  and more excited.  like the first time you hear it's heart beat,  the ultrasound,  and eventually preparing the room.  Take advantage of this oppertunity to make your relationship even stronger,  and recognize the baby as your own little example of how much you love each other.  

[Keith Downing, MD]

Hello,

And I'm sorry you found my response unhelfpful.  That said, knowing what you now know of pre-ejaculate I'd have you consider the following regarding condom use and efficacy:

Couples vary widely in their ability to use male condoms consistently and correctly. It is estimated that 2 percent of women will become pregnant during the first year of perfect (ie, consistent and correct) use of the condom, and about 15 of every 100 will become pregnant during the first year of typical use.  Thus condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy when perfectly used and 85% effective at preventing pregnancy with typical use.

A pregnancy resulting from the situation you describe can be the result of three possibilities: A failed condom (condom broke or was defective); improper condom use; or non-paternity (otherwise stated, your fiance has conceived a pregnancy by someone other than you).  I don't mean to be insensitive or inflammatory by suggesting the latter, it's just that this is an unfortunate reality in more situations than are commonly acknowldeged.  Regarding proper condom use, it should be placed to the bottom of the penile shaft with room for a reservoir at the tip; I'd caution against using oil based lubricants (water based only, e.g., KY jelly or astroglide) or outdated or improperly stored condoms; you may want to consider the use of a spermicide (although this can cause both vaginal and penile irritation).  

I hope you find this response more helpful.

Best regards,

Dr. Downing