Although your question was directed to Dr. Hook, we take them interchangably. There is never any significant disagreement among us.
Neither of us routinely provides care for persons in your situation. Patient with suspected anal intraepithelial neoplasia (AIN) in STD or infectious diseases clinics are routinely referred to proctologists or colon and rectal surgeons. Please take that into account in my responses below.
As your experience shows, anal warts and other HPV infections are not limited to men who have sex with men, although they are much more common in MSM. The exact mechanism of transmission hasn't been studied and isn't known, whether by fingers or by spread of genital secretions to the anal area during sex. Either is plausible.
The "stages" of pre-cancerous HPV lesions don't necessarily occur in sequence. Someone with stage II disease might have gone directly to that stage, without passing through stage I. It can happen any time from a few weeks after acquring HPV to years later. From the information you provide, there is no way to know how long you had your anal HPV infection.
Every woman should have annual pap smears. If your wife hasn't had a gynecologic exam and pap smear in the past year, she should do it now. Regardless of the result, you and she should assume she is infected (or has been infected in the past) with the same HPV strain that you have. But as long as her paps are normal and she has no other symptoms, there is no risk to hear health and no need for worry. Remember that the large majority of HPV infections, including those that are high risk for cancer, go away on their own without harm or risk.
Assuming the abnormal tissue has been excised, most likely your problem is gone. And even without surgical treatment, the large majority of AIN goes away, without progressing to cancer. In other words, if you had never had the hemorrhoids and had the AIN diagnosed, probably you would be safe. However, you should follow your surgeon's advice about whether periodic reexamination is necessary to stay ahead of any problem.
As to specific symptoms, most likely you would notice a growth near the anus, or perhaps bleeding. But the problem could progress without any symptoms at all. As I said, your surgeon might recommend periodic reexamination, e.g. to take a look inside with an anoscope once a year for a few years. But this is outside my and Dr. Hook's expertise.
I hope this helps. Best wishes-- HHH, MD
I sincerely appreciate your reply; it helps to relieve my anxiety about all of this. At least I know what I am dealing with. I wish that there was more education on the male side of these subjects; perhaps there will be in the future.
Best Regards,
Hurtin' Puppy