Herpes Development and Behavior

[Highwire]

I have HSV-1 (no visible outbreak prior to or at time of incident) with an uninfected girlfriend of four months. Ours was a committed relationship, but I did not tell her that I had HSV-1 which was wrong. We kissed, had oral to genital sex, and protected intercourse until the incident, when we had oral to genital sex, and we had first-time unprotected intercourse. So, recent sexual history occurred on: Incident Day -12 or 13, and Incident Day. Two days after Incident Day, she said that she was feeling sick, and feeling burning during urination, and a day after said she had bumps and was being tested for herpes. I am disturbed that after urgent care that she called to ask, "I need to know, do YOU have herpes? You're the only man I've been with." If our relationship is committed, and she contracted herpes wouldn't she have NO DOUBT it was from me? (I wonder, might she have been with someone else?) And why didn't she want me to go to the doctor to be tested, and to review results? She has the results, and I still don't know her type HSV, she just texted me to not contact her, that I ruined her life. My type HSV-1 is known, our sexual contact history is clear, and I was outbreak free on Incident -12, or Incident Day. Isn't it true that I can only give HSV-1? And what is the shortest and longest development of HSV? If she might have HSV-2, don't I deserve to know? Should I wonder why she was willing to have unprotected intercourse, and two days later was telling me of symptoms of genital HSV, but not including me in the doctor process, or the results? This seems an odd set of circumstances from both the biological and behavioral standpoint. I need your help piecing together facts of the biologically process to understand the behaviors. I know the horror I went through on my first symptoms, know what she may be feeling, and care about her, but if I'm NOT responsible for her HSV, don’t we BOTH need to be honest about our situations, and I deserve to know if she has HSV-2?

[Highwire]

Yes, levying a challenge in this circumstance will not build bridges. I must remind myself of my feelings when hsv1 was transmitted to me. Thank you for your help and guidance. Ps103

[Edward W Hook, MD]

1.  Eiterh episode of oral sex, while not fitting perfectly could have transmitted infection to her.

2.  I think to challenge her is not in the best interest of the relationship but to try to work through it.  It is not at all uncommon for someone to be upset after acquisiton of GH.  Hopefully her infection is HSV-1.  If it is, there will tend to be fewer recurrences and less risk for spread.  EWH

[Highwire]

1. I have HSV-1 cold sores and my mouth and (with no visible outbreak) contacted her genitals on day 0. Her genital symptoms began day 2, followed by doctor visit on day 4 and her texting me not to contact her any more on day 7. Our sexual contact previous to day 0 was 12 - 13 days earlier which involved my mouth to her genitals.

2. My concern is her willingness to have unprotected intercourse on day 0 (when it was always protected before), talk of genital symptoms on day 2, not include me in doctor visit, and not share results. Should I be concerned with HSV-2? Should I ask her for results, or to see them?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

With all due respect, I can see that you are upset and that your mind is buzzing with possibilities and "what ifs".  In addition, I must acknowledge to you that I have trouble following your time line.  I think that you are saying that several days after unprotected intercourse your partner started to feel ill, went to a local urgent care center and was diagnosed with herpes.  She was told she has herpes (a culture was done?) and is now accusing you of "having ruined her life".  While I wait for clarification from you, let me provide a few comments and facts.

1.  You state you have HSV-1.  I presume this is cold sores and that you have had them cultured.  is this correct?  If so, you would them be able to transmit your infection to her, whether lesions were present or not through contact of your mouth on either her mouth or her genitals.  the virus can infect both sites..

2.  The typical incubation time for herpes is for symptoms and lesions to appear within 3-10 days of contact.  The further you get from this time span, the less likely it is that you are dealing with herpes.  

3.  I presume you told you partner you had HSV-1.  If that is so, did she (and do you) understand how transmission can occur without symptoms?

4.  Please realize that if she knew that you have HSV-1, it may be that she misunderstood her risk or she may have been given mis-information from the health care provider there.  

I hope these comments are some help.  For more information about herpes, it can be obtained by accessing excellent informational web sites such as the one run by the American Social Health Association (disclosure, Dr. Handsfield and I are both on the Board of Directors of ASHA).

Please check out the web site, it may help.  If you have a clear follow-up question or two I will be happy to respond.  EWH