Please advise me doctor

[Springbokworried]

I am from central Africa, working with NGOs to help people for food.  I have a wonderful wife and a great kid.  My wife is about to give birth to another one in some months.  We were virgins till our marriage.  Not even a kiss.  We do not have oral/ genital herpes or any other problem. (doctor both tested when wife pregnant 1st time).  

I made a mistake some days back.  I was on a work really far in Africa itself and got an encounter with a Csw in a pub-***-brothel after few beers.  I was bare chested and she was all naked.  I had rinsed my penis in the toilet and my cargo pants zip and button was fully open.  I wore a slip and my semi erect penis meatus(head) was a bit out due as it was squeezed by the underwear elastic at my waistline. So basically a bit of my penis was out.  I had kissed the neck n breast of the csw. No lips kiss.  I had climbed on top of her and dry humped for few seconds.  I was on top of her for 15 to 30seconds (less maybe) in missionary position.  She did a handjob with condom then.  I touched her private parts and anal area.  The room was dark. When I lit the light I saw like red sores near her lower labia part.  I don't know if it was herpes.  I washed and left immediately.   I also had a few healing cuts and nicks on penis from shaving and she may have touched them after having touched herself.

I fear my penis head which was a bit out have touched her genitals or the sores I saw and I may have STD/herpes.  I have had no symptoms yet (13 days now).  Two days after the encounter I had a bad viral fever ( CBC showed low Lymphocytes).  I am recovering since.   I am really scared and getting panic attacks.

Gracefromhhp told me no risk.  Should I test for anything like herpes/syphilis?  I want to know if and when I can continue unprotected sex with my wife and lead a normal life away from this fear?  I have not even kissed my wife since I have been back.  I hope you will help me.  I have never betrayed my wife ever in my life and never will.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

I'm glad I could help.  Take care.  EWH

[Springbokworried]

Thank you.

As per your advice I am moving forward and will forget this encounter as a bad mistake I made.  I will also stop engaging in any self examination and live my life normally as before.

I take your word about not to worry,test or self examine and move on since you are the expert in this field.

God bless you and Grace for your works.

Cheers


Thank you wholeheartedly.
Danke

Totsiens - Goodbye Sir.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Try to move forward and do not engage in extensive self examination- to do so typically only leads to mis-ientification of normal sensations and irregularlities, amplified by anxiety.  

As for frottage, IF she had lesions and IF you had direct contact with infectious lesions there is a small risk of tranmission of infection.  You are not sure that she was infected, had lesions or that you had contact and now, two weeks later you do not have signs or symptoms. It is time to stop worrying and move on.  I see no reason for you to abstain from unprotected intercourse with your wife. EWH

[Springbokworried]

Also doctor, I should stop looking for any symptoms/self examination and let it go now?

Thank you in advance for your insight on my two questions.

[Springbokworried]

I wore condom only for the masurbation.  I was not wearing one during frottage.  As it is, I am not even sure there has been contact between our genitals.  It is really a what if.  I was worried for my wife and kids.  I wanted to know if I can continue my normal unprotected sex life with her?

Thank you once again

[Springbokworried]

Thank you Doctor.

First of all I congratulate Dr HHH and you for the wonderful work and you vast knowledge on these matters, as well as your devotion to help people without being judgmental.

From your words I deduce I should not test for anything and should move on.  You send me much reassured.    

As it is can I continue a normal intimate relationship with my wife without any fears now on?  
I was worried for her and my kids (present and coming one).

It was really the guilt that has been eating me.

Thank you once again

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Welcome to our Forum. I'll try to help.  As I understand it, while there was masturbation and frottage (dry humping) involved in this encounter there was no penetration.  You do not know but fear that there may have been contact of your penis with your partner's genitals and that she may have had genital sores- correct?  All of this took place two weeks ago.

If this is the case, I would not worry.  You do not know that this person had HSV, you wore a condom for most of the encounter, and do not know that your penis was in contact with her genitals or lesion (probably was not).  You have not developed lesions and if you had acquired HSV, lesions should have appeared by this time.

As Grace has indicated, this is not something to worry further about.  You need to accept that you made an error in judgment and be pleased that nothing adverse has happened because of it and move forward without letting your guilt over you misstep consume you.  I hope that my comment helps you to do this. EWH