8 weeks ago, I performed unprotected oral sex on another man. He gave me a hand job and broke the skin at the base of my penis, and I masturbated both of us. 2 weeks later, a red area began to grow on the head of my penis. it was mild, painless, flat and about 1 cm in diameter. It disappeared on its own 4-5 weeks later, although there is still a very faint sign if i look very closely. The local health department looked and could not see anything out of the ordinary. They are concerned about syphilis and gave a blood test for HIV and Syphilis. Both came back negative. They said that it means nothing until 90 days, so come back in 30 days. Since the lesion came and went already, what are the chances that I had a false negative reaction at 8 weeks. I am too nervous about this to wait 30 days. Will the test be any more accurate at nine or ten weeks?
Also, my wife performed oral sex on me at about the two week mark (after possible infection), right before I realized that the red area was of concern. We have had no sexual contact since. What are the chances that she contracted syphilis if I have it.
My wife is ~22 weeks pregnant, and was ~16 weeks at the time of our first and only sexual contact (oral) since possible infection. Since she can not get a conclusive test for a few more weeks either, what should I do? She is not aware of a problem, but I don't want to scare her if nothing is wrong. Alternatively, I am aware of the dangers and will waiting till I get a firm answer be too long? Would a doctor give her penicillin now anyway based on the situation? Or would they wait until she tests positive. What do I do? How late in the pregnancy is too late?
Lastly, if I have syphilis, what are the chances that there is a problem with the baby, and what are the chances that treatment will avoid a horrible outcome? What is the latest she can be treated?