So you made a mistake and learned from it. That's a good place to start with your wife. She will probably ask you what possessed you to do it in the first place. You say you couldn't help yourself. I don't know what that means, since, as adults, we're all responsible for our actions. You need to examine why you feel you were out of control because this type of situation may occur again, and if you don't thoroughly understand yourself, you may just make the same type of mistake. After you've figured it all out, then you can share that with your wife. She's probably going to want some iron-clad promises from you and lots of conciliatory behavior, so be prepared. Dr. J
It appears the danage is done ! But, If you were under any kind of alcoholic influence, you might be able to redeem yourself. I definately would write a letter to the husband and wife together explaining your mistake and make a sincere apoligy for your behavior. Inform them that it was not intentional and it will never happen again. Stress how much you love your wife and that you never meant for your behavior to get out of control and ask for their forgiveness. Honesty is alway the best policy.
Do not tell your wife. Somethings are better kept to one self, most of all since you did not have the ability to do anything wrong. Apologize to your friends, tell them you were drunk, will never do that again and ask them also to pls not ruin the friendship and your marriage by telling your wife. And, do not do it again if you are happy with your marriage.
Tell your friends you were interested in setting up a mutual orgy and not trying to go behind their back lol. I'm Sorry but there isn't fix for everything, what you have done tells others involved 3 things...
You don't have concern for your wife's feelings being that you would cheat on her. (orgy could downgrade this to "with her" instead of "on")
you don't care about your guy friends feelings (or maybe you have strong sexual feelings for him)
You are selfish and believe what they don't know won't hurt them. (or maybe you are "giving")
You can try to cover this up with lies and bs at the expense of others if you would like to continue harm them. Maybe you have the wrong friends and wife, you shouldn't just settle for them because you cant find others. Take this as a learning experience to do right in the future and have compassion for others.
Put yourself in their shoes. Why in the hell would they want to be friends with you again. To the guy you're always gona be after his wife and the wife whenever you look at her shes gona think you are lusting for her. You thought with your lower head and ****** up the relationship so deal with it. YOU made it awkward for them, you're only being selfish by expecting them to be friends with you again.