It sounds as though he may be having some psychological issues or anxiety or something like that. Although not really related, I'll try to give you some perspective with an issue of mine.
Whenever I have sex or masturbate since my ex-girlfriend I deal with an immense pain. There is pleasure, but a lot of pain in the head of my penis. This has led me into a few situations with women where I am very interested (being a 21 year old male who has always had a high libido) but end up giving confusing signals. I can't very well just come out and say that the head of my penis hurts too much for sex right now!
Just trying to put your mind at ease a bit.
Hi.
First, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You are obviously in a very troubled relationship. No one can help you except you, yourself. Since your husband has refused to be honest with you about his feelings, or lack thereof, the only option left to you is counseling. The two of you need to see someone who is trained to help people with sexual and relationship concerns. Until you do, your relationship is going nowhere. There's a reason your husband has withdrawn from you, and it's clear that he's not going to tell you. However, through counseling, he may be able to begin to express himself. If he's unwilling to go to counseling, you'll need to decide whether it's more painful to stay with him or to begin a new life without him. Best of luck to you. Dr. J