Relationship break up

[Sunshine124]

hey,
im 17 and have recently this week split up with my first real love of 10 months, im finding it so hard and heart aching because i still love him, i feel like i have to try and make myself stop loving him but i dont no how. everything reminds me of him and our memorys together, and it just triggers me off into tears. is there any advice you can give? thank you x

[Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.]

You bet.  Get busy. Go out with your girlfriends. Join a hiking or biking or tennis  club. Get physically active and fill up your time with things that can make you happy. Do things that are different from the things you did with him. Make some new friends from a different group of people. Change your life in a positive direction and don't give yourself much time alone- even much time to think!! All you can do is distract yourself-- but the funny thing, is that the longer you do this, the better it works. And one day, you will wake up and find that your heart aches less. And each day will get better. But you have to work at it otherwise you will just keep hurting. I know it doesn't help- but just about everyone has gone through this in their life--and sooner or later it gets better- and you feel you learned something from it. Meanwhile- just don't let your brain and heart work together to bring you down. Get busy--and eventually you will forget about the pain- and find someone else.

[jml1986]

Staying busy really does help. The more you do the less you think. Friends are a great resource. They are really good at keeping you busy which gives your heart time to heal.

[gunvalk]

Well, I just went through the exact same thing except it was 8 months, and I am 16. The only thing I can tell you, even though it is quite juvenile is to find reasons to hate that person or make you dislike them. Other than that I couldn't really find any other way of getting over them. Another thing you should do is try not to talk to them as much or even at all. Hope that helps.