Severe pelvic pain

[kittie335]

Hi everyone, I will try to make this brief. I have been seperated from my husband for almost 4 years now and he was very abusive to me. He once raped me a few days after I had given birth and ever since then I have been experiencing recurrent pelvic pain especially during ovulation and sometimes during intercourse as well. Some days the pain is so bad I can barely get out of bed. The pain is sort of just above my pubic bone right in the middle and sometimes it feels like stabbing pain shooting up through my cervix into the uterus area. I have been in for numerous internal ultrasounds and colposcopies and even biopsies from my cervix but they haven't found anything. My doctor says I am a mystery. So I was wondering if anyone knows any possibilities of what this could be? Also I am having alot of trouble getting close to my current partner...we have been together for 2 years and have a baby together. He is a wonderful person but I have always been distant and unaffectionate and I have only recently felt that I really want to fully trust and be open with him but something is always stopping me. I just want to get over this and move on but it seems everytime the pain gets really bad all the memories come back again. Any advice would be really appreciated I just want to feel better. Oh and also I have been in counseling for awhile now trying to deal with the emotional issues and it has helped to some extent.
Thanks for reading

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hi Kittie:

There are two issues here: 1) pelvic pain, and 2) your fear of intimacy (very understandable, given your history).

1) Pelvic Pain: this is not a gynecology site. I suggest you post in the gynecology expert forum and detail your medical history. Perhaps the gynecologist will be able to suggest a specialist in pelvic pain. I have seen several women who have experienced such pain from internal scar tissue and other issues.

The gynecology expert forum is at:

http://www.medhelp.org/forums/show/103

2) I want to urge you to continue seeing your therapist, because obviously, this is beginning to help you to get some clarity. Some issues to explore with your therapist are 1) whether you have a history of emotional or physical trauma in your family or in your relationships aside from your ex and 2) whether you've received any messages regarding trust and intimate relationships. There's a reason for your emotional distance and lack of affection. You need to explore what that is. Best of luck to you. Dr. J

[younggrandmother]

Kittie335 I think you have been so..hurt by the one person you put your.. love....trust....  happiness in, and now you have put a Huge wall up to protect yourself. Going to counseling is the best thing you can be doing for yourself, It is going to be hard to take that wall down, but if he is the right person for you he will wait and understand it is going to take time, Let him know it has nothing to with how you feel about him, Yes it is in the past but it still hurts physically and mentally Just like it was yesterday. If you have children with your ex then he is still some what in you life . Time will heal your wounds.  Maybe you can let the wall down just a little. Have you told him what happen with your ex husband if you did what was his reaction was he supportive.You said that he was a wonderful person so I think you should give him a chance to help you ....sorry for all the mistakes but it is 3:30am I need to get to bed. Good Luck and keep us posted ..