Aa
Whats wrong?
I have been on the depo shot for over 2 years and I never want to have sex with my husband is there something wrong or what do i need to do?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Well if you think it's the Depo, then see your gynecologist and request another form of birth control such as the patch, which is associated with far less side effects. Remember that everyone's body is different. Finding the right birth control may take a bit of experimentation; but it's worth it, right? Dr. J
It is not that I am not interested cause when we do do it after I FINALLY lubricate by myself it is great. I think I can honestly say that I am not bored nothing is stressful and no problems with us. Before I got on the depo there was no problems but after having our first child I got on the depo and then about 6 months later this is what started happening. I do not even think about sex with anyone else or have dreams about sex. I honestly think it is the shot.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.
You haven't given me enough information to comment on anything specific, so I'll confine my post to general information.
Some women have reported that after their first year on Depo Provera, they notice an increase in depression and mood swings as well as a lessening of sexual desire and less lubrication when aroused.
These symptoms don’t affect most women, but they’re certainly a possible side effect for some. Realize that there’s no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to birth control. You might want to try another similar form such as the patch, which isn’t associated with such drastic side effects.
That’s not to say that there aren’t other things going on with you that are affecting your desire. Here are some other possibilities.
Sexual desire is a very tenuous thing: it can come and go many times. Has it occurred to you that you may have some issues with your relationship? Perhaps you’re bored, but don’t know how to express yourself, or you’re holding back for fear of hurting your husband’s feelings (fairly common among women).
Ask yourself what changed since you first met. Do you think about sex—not with him, but with others? Do you daydream about sex with celebrities, etc.? Do you self-pleasure? Have sexy dreams? If so, that would indicate that you’re interested in sex, but you’re just not interested in sex with your husband. This could be an indicator that it’s the relationship that’s problematic, not sex in and of itself.
On the other hand, if you DON’T think about sex ever, if it’s not a priority for you, then you may be repressing sexual feelings, or you’re just not that interested in sex. We all go through periods in our life when our sexual interests fluctuate—just like our interests in other aspects of life.
It’s also possible that, for some reason, you’re no longer turned on to your husband. And, of course, many other factors can influence desire. Are you content with yourself, with your life, with your relationship? Are there any family or work crises? And how’s your physical health? There are numerous medical conditions that can also contribute to lack of desire.
Are you an anxious person? If you’re feeling anxious or unsure of yourself, your desire for sex will be affected. Or you may have conflicting feelings about being sexual, based on earlier issues in your life. Or you may actually FEEL desire, but suppress it, due to feeling conflicted. Are you aware of any reasons you may have for avoiding sex with your husband?
Other reasons you might not be turned on: If you’re worried about pleasing your husband, rather than just enjoying pleasure, this can be a turn-off. The other message that many of us receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure.
And, of course, there’s the whole issue of your husband’s attitudes and behaviors and whether any of those are affecting your desire. Is sex mostly about HIS pleasure rather than yours? Or do you feel that sex is about satisfying him rather than yourself?
So, to recap: you may have negative attitudes about sex in general, or may have performance issues or be bored or frustrated. Think about the issues I’ve raised and see if any resonate. I’m wondering what YOU think is contributing to this. You’ve probably got more insight than you realize. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
You haven't given me enough information to comment on anything specific, so I'll confine my post to general information.
Some women have reported that after their first year on Depo Provera, they notice an increase in depression and mood swings as well as a lessening of sexual desire and less lubrication when aroused.
These symptoms don’t affect most women, but they’re certainly a possible side effect for some. Realize that there’s no “one-size-fits-all” when it comes to birth control. You might want to try another similar form such as the patch, which isn’t associated with such drastic side effects.
That’s not to say that there aren’t other things going on with you that are affecting your desire. Here are some other possibilities.
Sexual desire is a very tenuous thing: it can come and go many times. Has it occurred to you that you may have some issues with your relationship? Perhaps you’re bored, but don’t know how to express yourself, or you’re holding back for fear of hurting your husband’s feelings (fairly common among women).
Ask yourself what changed since you first met. Do you think about sex—not with him, but with others? Do you daydream about sex with celebrities, etc.? Do you self-pleasure? Have sexy dreams? If so, that would indicate that you’re interested in sex, but you’re just not interested in sex with your husband. This could be an indicator that it’s the relationship that’s problematic, not sex in and of itself.
On the other hand, if you DON’T think about sex ever, if it’s not a priority for you, then you may be repressing sexual feelings, or you’re just not that interested in sex. We all go through periods in our life when our sexual interests fluctuate—just like our interests in other aspects of life.
It’s also possible that, for some reason, you’re no longer turned on to your husband. And, of course, many other factors can influence desire. Are you content with yourself, with your life, with your relationship? Are there any family or work crises? And how’s your physical health? There are numerous medical conditions that can also contribute to lack of desire.
Are you an anxious person? If you’re feeling anxious or unsure of yourself, your desire for sex will be affected. Or you may have conflicting feelings about being sexual, based on earlier issues in your life. Or you may actually FEEL desire, but suppress it, due to feeling conflicted. Are you aware of any reasons you may have for avoiding sex with your husband?
Other reasons you might not be turned on: If you’re worried about pleasing your husband, rather than just enjoying pleasure, this can be a turn-off. The other message that many of us receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure.
And, of course, there’s the whole issue of your husband’s attitudes and behaviors and whether any of those are affecting your desire. Is sex mostly about HIS pleasure rather than yours? Or do you feel that sex is about satisfying him rather than yourself?
So, to recap: you may have negative attitudes about sex in general, or may have performance issues or be bored or frustrated. Think about the issues I’ve raised and see if any resonate. I’m wondering what YOU think is contributing to this. You’ve probably got more insight than you realize. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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