I have been with my partner for near a year and his 15yr old daughter lives in Vic with her Mum.
My partner and i have a solid and adjusted relationship and when his daughter visits us, there is always problems.
I cant do anything right, my parenter is always in talks with her, with regards to the problems she has with me.
This has been a massive kick in the legs for me as i do all, i not only emotionly / financially support her, i feel i go over board to appease and please her. I cant help it as i am unable to have children and i adore her but i am also fed up. My poor partner is piggy in the middle.
I generally come out of these discussions taking the blame or being blamed.
15 Year old constantly gives me dirty side looks and body langauge and when her father appears, she is normal and dadys little girl. I am frustrated with her approach to me and the arguements its created between my partner and i. She has had some problems with living with her mum to the point her partner moved out, they are still together however live apart, She also has a young brother 3-4 years of age, whom she couldnt stand but has come to love and nurture. she wants to live with her Dad and has called me Mum a few times, but her kindness always comes with a cost, Then i wait for my partner to approach me with the next problem she is having with me.
She has advised at present she feels un welcome and left out, as her father and i have moved , from where we lived last and will move again once we purchase a home. She feels changes are being made with out her.
I feel her father and i are the adults and making a new life and no matter what we do she is always apart of us. I dont feel our choices are to be made by her, am i being to hard or too soft. How do i make my partner see what she is doing whilst he is not around and the manipulation, I dont want to leave my partner, but i have to pull the wool from his eyes and somehow work with her so she understands that i am staying with dad and im with her and not against her...