No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

[caregiver222]

Once upon a time there was a hottie.

I always had an affinity for tall blue-eyed hotties with long shoulder-length blond hair and snugly fitting blue jeans. She sorta looked like Meg Ryan.

Anyways, we met at a healing music ceremony, where they drink wine and munch on cheese, burn incense, and everybody holds hands, closes their eyes and sings "Koombaya" to the sound of jungle drums.

She rubbed her knee against mine.

I am not good at interpreting signals.

Maybe her knee was itchy?

I really didn't want to go except the guy(an old hippie) running the ceremony owed me five hundred bucks and I figured this would be a good time to bring it to his attention.

The guy asks me if I would accept payment for the debt in pot.

"Pot! Are you crazy!" I said. " I want my five hundred bucks!"

"Well, I'll introduce you to Susan," he says, pointing to the blond.

She worked for a top advertising agency as an account executive, whatever that is, in a big tall building in a very expensive part of town.

So I call her and suggest I want to come by and have lunch with her, and she can enjoy a vegi-vurger and green algae (argggg!) while I feast on a big over-size greasy cheeseburger, french fries and a mac-and-cheese.

She tells me about this exhibit in her building with all sorts of famous paintings in the lobby and a big historic display of irreplaceable historical documents, which she took credit for putting together. She is very proud of this display.

I decide to show up a bit early and when I approach the delivery entrance two Mexicans are discussing what to do about the fire.

"Fire?" I ask. I know a little spanish.

I ask them to "Show me".

We go inside the main entrance and there is a bank of eight elevators leading to the upper floors. This was pre-9-11, so there is no security.

The Mexican leads me seventy foot to a metal door, which he opens to reveal a wall of flame!

Hmmmm.

I slam the door shut.

I grab my cell and call fire dispatch, bypassing 911, and request a full second alarm assignment with special call for rescue. Not surprisingly nobody has reported the fire.

Now near the entrance is a fire hose with a valve and an internal fire-alarm. I break the glass with the little hammer provided for that purpose and pull the internal building alarm on the wall. The evacuation bells ring in the building.

"Clang, clang, clang, clang...."

Then I grab the fire hose. Hmmm. There is a valve attached to the wet standpipe, but none on the nozzle. I ask one of the Mexicans to work the water and he tells me "Ees not my yob".

Making a decision, I open the valve full and grasp the nozzle to advance toward the fire. This is a wet-standpipe system with a high pressure pump that engages when the system is in use.

Water comes BLASTING out of the nozzle. I opened the valve full.

There is a LOT of water.

Meanwhile dozens of well-dressed people are exiting the elevators to evacuate the building. No matter which way I point the hose I manage to blast them with water. In desperation I turn the nozzle towarsd the wall, destroying the historic paintings and blasting away the glass display case with the lovingly restored historic documents. I can;t decide which way to point the nozzle.

Up towards the ceiling!

Blam, blam, blam. Hundreds of flourescent bulbs break as the high-pressure stream hits them.

Glass shards fall down on the people exiting the elevators.

Oh well. Lives are at stake.

I continue to advance, only to find that the hose is fifty foot long and the door behind which the fire is seems to be about fifteen foot further way. I can't reach it.

Hmmmmm.

A minor problem.

Meanwhile there is no control shut-off on the nozzle. It continues to blast high pressure water. I can't let it go or it will flail around and kill someone. I have to hold it with both hands.

I have to back to the valve to shut it off.

More people are out of the elevator. I manage to blast everyone on the way back! The lobby is PACKED!

The hose, being presurized, weights a lot and is difficult to bend and bring back. With water shooting aout I manage to destroy the rest of the exhibit on my way to the valve.

Hmmm. I need another length of hose.

I shut the valve off, run to the second floor (nearby stairway) remove the fifty-foot length of hose on that valve (there is a spanner there), bring it down and add another fifty foot.

The fire department has still not arrived.

When I have a hundred foot of line tightened I turn the water on again. The Mexicans have disappeared.

More people in the lobby fleeing!

I blast another hundred of them, men, women and children.

"You moron!" one of them screams.

"Idiot!" screams another.

My little hottie friend emerges from the elevator.

She looks at her destroyed display with dismay. The ruined paintings on the wall!

"You!" she screams, pointing at me.

I turn towards her and the water blasts off the ceiling, knocking down debri, flourescent bulbs and hitting her, messing her designer dress.

So much for an appreciation for trying to save their lives.

Water is sloshing around the floor washing away the historic documents, which have been blasted out of their glass display case.

I just get up to the door where the fire is, kick it open and there is a wall of flame upon which I direct the hose.

At that moment two truckees show up, along with a dozen fireman and I surrender the line.

I am soaked.

My suit jacket is soaked.

I knew I should have worn jeans that day.

Well, the hottie lived happily every after again.

I guess.

I called her back twice and she slammed the phone down each time.

Then she blocked my e-mails.

I heard from the guy who ran the musical healing sessions she married a used-car dealer from Houston.

I never got my five hundred bucks back.

[margypops]

we were brave once off the coast of Ireland in Dunmanus Bay ,came a storm , they are common in that neck of the woods, we had moored up our boat and we hear some yelling, never ignore someone yelling, especialiy in usually quiet Ireland, where we got our kicks drinking guiness with the guarda after hours .Well we went to see, being intrepid English folks, and there \was a schooner about 45ft long crashing around  on some rocks , The dh is pretty strong ,and yup, nuts, so he leapt into the water , me being his Moll, following , this was one big heavy boat but we ,he, held her off the rocks , the owners came to help but we had to stay and hold her off whilst the storm blew down ...we saved his boat, he was grateful and he kept sending us bottles of Whisky and putteen for months .   hahaha no I am not a big drinker ..now ..

[caregiver222]

Good stew story!

[Sarajmt]

That is so funny. Thanks for the giggles.

I used to be a flight attendant.  Fortunately, I didn't pull this one; a newbie did.  

A passenger put a lit cigarette in a paper towel disposal slot.  There was of course no smoking allowed on the plane anyway.  So as I was getting a coffee pot of water to pour down, this newbie grabs the CO2 and sprays away.  Before I could stop her as I was in the galley and she was back by the blue rooms and jump seats, she uses the phone to tell the captain we have a fire in the back.

Well, we didn't have a fire. The only smoke was from the cigarette and the foam from the CO2. The cig didn't catch anything on fire and my pitcher of water was plenty.  In the meantime the flight engineer came running back with the fire ax.  Now we have panic in the cabin.  

I finally got everything under control but my flight was met by a supervisor.  I never saw that newbie flight attendant again.  Apparently this wasn't her first total freak out on a plane.  But it was a mess.  I definitely went for drinks with the crew after we hit the hotel.

[caregiver222]

Well, there wasn't any bravery involved. Maybe a little common sense...or the lack of it.

The fire was contained behind a door, and I never did get to reach it.

As an observation, nobody pulled the building fire alarm, nor did they call the fire department. This behavior is quite common.

And there were the instructions to the maintenance people not to use the firefighting equipment.

The other lesson is the tremendous pressure developed at the end of a nozzle. If you let it go, the heavy brass nozzle could kill someone. It is like having a jet engine attached. That's why I couldn't let it go to shut off the line. And I yelled back for someone to help. The maintenance guy just stood there. Then, once the line was charged it was a bit difficult to snake it around to go back to the valve. That's how most of the damage was done. You really need two people on the nozzle and one back at the valve.

[ginger899]

Gosh! Ain't no other word for it...
My only claim to bravery is playing frisbee with my dog in snow in 10 below with the flu......

[caregiver222]

P.S.  Nobobody in the lobby was even aware there was a fire. The flames were contained behind a stainless steel door at the end of the lobby and there wasn't even the scent of smoke. I never actually got to the fire. The only thing accomplished was the destruction of the lobby. When the firefighters arrived I was just about to open the door. Later, I found out that the building employyes were instructed not to use any firefighting equipment but always wait for the fire department.

Arhhh!