recovery after massive stroke

[aunt juju]

My 59 year old (otherwise healthy) mother had a right side brain stroke two weeks ago. The DR. said it was prety massive on most of the right side, leaving her unable to move her left side.  She is able to talk, eat, drink, and able to answer any question. (still not completely normal in thinking and talking, but really close.)
She started a live-in rehab last thursday (3 days ago) and now can move her left leg some.  Stil no movement of the arm.  She does have the neglect of the left side. my question(s)
1.  How long does the brain swelling take to go completely away?
2.  Well the neglect she has get better?
3.  Well she be able to walk and move her arm, and if so how long with rehab will that take?

[JosieinDom]

Thank you for sharing this. I find it very helpful as my friend is in recovery.  

[QueenMyssie]

He is capable of doing the exercises on his own but says he's in too much pain from the muscle spasms in his leg. Again, he can dress himself but complains of pain doing that as well. He (in my opinion) finds it easier to have someone help him. He has tools given to him (and he was shown how to use them) to help him get dressed and undressed but resists to do so because of pain. The neurologist gave him muscle relaxers to help him out but he really hates taking medicine (which is a struggle to get him to take). Anti-depressants would be great if they weren't in pill form considering his aversion to taking medicine, plus, when he took them while in the hospital, they did very little to change his demeanor. People keep telling me maybe the stroke has him showing his true colors and now he feels no need to censor his true feelings and actions. I do love him and want to work things out but dealing with offensive racism is driving me away. He has driven off his family and friends willing to help by being overbearing and not caring who's feelings he hurts with his words. His mother (who is disabled) does all she can but she has no car and no way of truly helping him physically. I have considered counseling for us, individually and as a couple, but time constraints on the schedule are hard. I am sure through prayer and meditation I will find the way. Thanks for your words of encouragement.

[sara12345]

No, you don't owe him your life.  First of all, it seems odd that all in-home therapy has stopped and he cannot get disability, yet he can barely do anything. Is he capable of doing the exercises that were given to him during all his previous physical therapy?  Why can't he do more than walk and feed himself?  To be able to walk is major. I'm wondering if his psyche is so down and depressed that he has given up. Could you try to get him to take anti-depressants?  That could help his bad behavior and his lack of doing anything. Does he have any friends or family that could take him to therapy?  No you don't need to put up with his bad behavior. If he can't behave better, which he may not be able to since strokes can dramatically change people's personalities, my vote would be to cut loose. I hear it in your posting that you want to.  What good are you going to be to yourself or to him if you can't stand it?  I know it seems very difficult, but you never married him.  Some may fault you for it, but from what you say about your sanity suffering, I don't think that you have a choice. I would read him the riot act about getting on an anti-depressant, that he needs to behave better, or you are not going to put up with it.  And try to get someone else to take him to therapy. See if the physical therapy place has any transportation available.  Some do. If he learns to function better, he may get a better attitude.  Wish you well.

[QueenMyssie]

My fiance had a massive stroke on the right side of his brain in September 2012. His stroke (as the doctors told us) was unique. He had an infection in his teeth that spread into his blood stream and festered in his sinus area (just behind the eyes & nose under his brain) causing swelling to his brain damaging his pituitary gland and leaving scar tissue under the entire base of his brain. The swelling also caused a pseudo aneurism behind his right ear (inoperable) that began to leak. In the 7 months of hospitalization and rehab the problems that caused the stroke were stabilized. He is now into his 5th month home. 2 months ago all the in-home rehab stopped but now we can't get to any outpatient therapy unless I (the only income because the state of Maryland says he's not disabled and keeps denying disability) take off work and this can't happen because we will lose our home. I am dismayed that this is the life that we have been given. I have no words to express how I feel about all this. His personality changed after the stroke and he tells me that I am the one that changed. His recovery has been slow. He can walk and feed himself but relies on assistance for everything else. I was sure I could do this but now his personality has changed and he is degrading and belittling in a way that I find offensive to me and others! How does I deal with being treated like it is my obligation to care for him REGARDLESS of how badly he speak to and treats me. Am I suppose to just eat my self-worth and sanity because I agreed that I would be in this til death do us part!? His attitude has me second guessing the ring that has been on my finger since May of 2012.

[sara12345]

I can understand how upset you are about losing your grandma before you could get there.  But I think that she did get her goodbye with you on the day that she died.  (I have my own reasons for believing that the loved ones who have left us, are still with us.  I know that others would disagree.)  It's unclear whether your grandma would have known that you were there from the way that you described her.  But I am absolutely sure that your grandma knew how very much you loved her, that your loving thoughts were with her, and that you were too far away to get to her.

[Taniel19]

May 2nd. My grandma has passed away waiting and waiting and waiting for her favorite son. She came to me in my dream the day she died, she was smiling and happy, but then she slowly turned around and started walking on all 4s away from me. I was afraid that I knew what it ment. I did't come home in time to see her, something I will always regret not being able to fulfill her last wish to see me...I just thought I had 2 weeks to get my things together before I make this 24hour flight home, which will very well end up being where I'll stay for a while before getting back on track with the rest of my life, I was throwing everything away, my job, my stuff but I just needed lil bit longer just 2 more weeks. I wish I let it all go and got myself a ticket the day I found out about her stroke, because now that I didnt get to see her for the last time , the damage is so much more devastating than it would have been if I got to kiss her cheecks one last time.