abortion, 11w 6d. help

[maybebaby11]

I'm 11w 6d and i really don't want to have a baby. My mom will not let me
Get An abortion. No onev wants me to have one besides me. I also can not afford to have an abortion. I considered adoption but my mom said she will take it. We live in the same house.. I don't really wanna be around the baby when it's born. What do i do

[Claire_MHModerator]

Hi, folks,

None of us is in a position to answer the member's question, "what do i do?", because ultimately, she bears the responsibility for her own decision.

Ideally, the benefits/consequences of all possible choices would be shared here, so that the member could make that decision.  But unfortunately, too many comments advised going back in time, or insulted other members. Neither is helpful, so we'll close this discussion now.

Claire

[specialmom]

As the community leader of the forum, I take all bashing of anyone seriously.  I think we all should follow med help's terms of service and remember that this is a support site.  That is why I try to just answer someone's question regarding abortion without interjecting my opinion about what is right or wrong for her to do.  

good luck to the poster

[veronica0808]

If the baby is really NOT wanted it is hard to have relatives adopt. Good thing there are lots of good couples wanting to adopt and give the baby a stable home. There is no need to bash the poster .. Shes young snd just asking for advise.. There are ways to say tjings without hurting other people

[specialmom]

Sometimes what is hard if a family member adopts the baby is that you are always still the mom . .    You are still going to be involved and it is awkward if that isn't what you want.  Adoptions within family are very tricky.  

[babypersephone]

Honey do what you feel is the right thing to do. People will judge you no matter what. I kept my baby, still in high school with a 3.5 gpa, I'm married have an appt with my hubby and don't ask anyone for help but I'm still judged by being a young mom. So getting an abortion isint the worst thing. But my dad has paid for 3 of his past gf to get an abortion and he regrets all of them now. and one of them was with my step mom. She still wonders what life would have been like if she kept the baby. Just think about the future and if you really don't want to see your baby in it... then I say do it. It's a big decision I'm sorry youre going through this. I once had to go through the same thing but luckily I turned out to be not pregnant. It isint about god. It isint about what your mom wants it's about you and whether you want the baby in your life. just remember that. Do it if you believe it's the best thing.

[specialmom]

So, the poster has asked a question regarding getting an abortion and opinions on abortion are not relevant to the question.  

any questions the poster has, I'm happy to answer.  

[veronica0808]

The fact is that there is a baby and yes it is your desicion. I would talk to people that has gone through both adoption and abortion. I am completely against abortion but I only can decide on my own baby. There is pros and cons for both desicions.. Mainly the risk of u in the future have a hard time to have a baby when its wanted because if the abortion the same as u missing that baby like hell if it was put through adoption. Maybe futher along you will start to learn to love your child inside you and keep it who knows but whatever desicion u make i would suggest counseling or a support group. Good luck.

[cambree67]

I was in your same position i didn't want my child and i dont like kids but i couldn't take the fact that if i was to get an abortion i was killing a human that didn't ask to be born. So i considered adoption. now im 24 weeks and can feel my baby move im so in love with my child already and can't wait to meet him. The point of me saying this is us moms isnt on here to make you feel bad about your decision but to give you advice and help you make the right choice you might have a change in mind later on and want to keep your baby or let someone adopt it. Its never to late for adoption even after the baby is born.

[specialmom]

The moderators will soon move this to the Woman's Choice forum where it is a safe place for someone to ask about abortion.  It is a legal choice women have and Med Help created a forum for the topic so that women can get support.  

[Ceri111]

If you decide abortion I would try and get on it as soon as you can to avoid making the situation harder, also if you are considering this make sure you have a good support network and keep communication open with your mum, if you decide to keep the baby I think its unfair to deny the baby the chance of a good upbringing (with your mum) rather than possibly being shoved into the care system, if you dont want to live with the baby then you could always leave...either way keep talking to your mum so that you have support as this will be a hard time either way, and I really hope you work out what the best option is

[Jassy10142015]

Some of ya'll are so rude. It kills me when people say they have no sympathy, like who the hell are you for someone to want your sympathy silly girl. It's her body, her choice.

[EmaleeJoy]

Maybe do adoption but tell your mom you want a different family to adopt or explain to her your feelings. Idk, if I were in your boat it's extremely nice that your mom is whiling to raise your child so you could be apart of his/her life. Abortion is always an option but it's also something you live with for the rest of your life and adoption is very hard, as my mom would say (she adopted her first child @ 15, 24 years ago) it's an open wound. This is a disco cult situation considering how far along you are. It's your body and you decided what you want to do or call someone to go over options but maybe think about birth control and contraceptive next time you plan to have sex since killin your child since to be your only want in the siuation. If you were to need a d&c, it could possibly complicate your chances to be pregnant in the future. Good luck

[specialmom]

In the United States, first trimester is occasionally the cut off, sometimes 16 weeks, sometimes 20 and sometimes whenever you choose.  It will depend on your area.  It is up to 16 weeks in my state.  good luck hon

[specialmom]

Everybody has different opinions and beliefs and we can't put our own beliefs onto another person.  It is her right to choose and do what she feels is best for her life.  And many who choose termination feel it was absolutely the right choice without regret.  It's sad when it comes to that but we don't walk in another woman's shoes.  She has to do what is best for her life.  luck to the poster

[ribaby15]

11wks is not too late for an abortion. And it's your body, us - as women - are given this CHOICE for a reason.
Not every method of protection is 100%
And regardless of it being prevented or not, it's no-one's decision but your own.
Time is ticking away though. So I would follow GeekMom's advice and go to a clinic ASAP to talk about your options.
Hell, the baby I am 20wks pregnant with was PLANNED, and sh*t happened to make me second guess having it/keeping it. Mind you, things worked out and I made the decision to continue with the pregnancy regardless of me keeping the baby in the end, but I've decided to do so.
Things happen. I get that.
While I don't agree with abortion as a form of birth control, I DO agree that if you don't want to have a baby and put your body through that OR your mind (not saying abortion doesn't mess with either of those things!), then that's your own option.
Most provinces (I live in Ontario) do abortions (D&C) up TO 16wks.
While anything past 12-13wks is too far for me morally, some women are different.

[specialmom]

Actually, clinics do work with young women often.  You have to speak to them directly.  Many are PUBLIC clinics and are there to serve the public.

Greek girl is right,  you can go and talk to them and see about payment options.  in my state, they provide sliding fee which means major reductions if you have low or no income.  good luck hon

[flowers75]

You don't have the money for abortion and there is no place that does it for free.  Abortion clinic is in the business to make money, not to sympathize with no one situation.  Next time around go to your health clinic and get some type of birth control because unprotected sex bring baby.

[specialmom]

Hi there and welcome.  Sorry you are having a hard time sweetie.  Have you called clinics personally and told them your situation?  Some clinics will have sliding fee scales.  You could borrow money from your mom or the boy who got you pregnant.  But in general, they want a woman to have access to abortions if that is their choice and do try not to make cost a huge issue.  Planned Parenthood is a good resource.  

You can pm me if you would like.  Here to help if I can.  good luck

[sarahyael24]

To the poster, don't let anyone's feelings or beliefs interfere with what you feel is right. It is your body and your decision. Time does change things, but if toy feel this strongly Now then look into your options. Time is important. Maybe seek advice from a professional too. Don't listen to people who will make you feel bad instead of supported in this post.

[flowers75]

If you have a support system why worrying yourself about abortion.  Baby is a blessing and you might surprise to see how many doors open to you in life.  Look at it from a positive point of view because you may never get the chance to conceive again. Let your mom help t you takes care of the baby and if seriously you don't want to be in y our mom house with the baby you can find somewhere else to live. Sorry, but you have a support system that I wish I had.

[GeekMom1213]

Go to a clinic ASAP and talk to someone about your options. It is your body and your decision, and you are the only one who can make that choice. You are far enough along at this point that medication is likely not going to be enough to terminate the pregnancy but it might still be possible without a D&C - either way it is definitely time to talk with a medical professional about your options and what you're going to do. The process becomes much more difficult on your body if you wait too long.

[maw4389]

You should still consider adoption but through an agency,especially if you don't want to be around the baby once it's born. I think it would be hard to be around the baby everyday but not be it's mom...

[dreamland21]

Isnt 11 weeks too late? Why dont you want the baby? Sounds like your mom will help alot. Maybe by the time you have the baby you will change your mind..